All Comments on 'Army Men'

This was awful. No offense, but you really need an editor. Plus you need to organize your thoughts and execute them much better. This story was all over the place and laughable. If it had been more in depth it would have been a bit better, but you kept jumping from one thing to another with no break in between scenes to alert readers what was going on. Tough read. Voted a 1.

That was horrible. Aside from the grammar and punctuation errors, it was poorly written and lacked any substance.

the actual sex with dean wasn't bad. The story itself was awful.

I thought it was pretty good. I liked the rape scene in the Serbian prison. Plot was a bit all over the place but it was hot all throughout (and that's all that really matters, right?) and it had a nice warm fuzzy happy ending.

You really NEED an editor, the spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors make it difficult to read, plus the story line is all over the place, take time to order your thoughts when writing a story.

This is the second story of yours I have read that is this bad editing wise, I won't be trying to read anymore of yours.

ok ok guys just to let you know i wrote this story in like a week because i was bored and submitted before reading it cause i knew i wouldnt have a chance to do anything else to it. i am checking my work more now so have a look and let me now. thanks for reading :)

A teenage white slut on the prowl is called romance