All Comments on 'As Above, So Below'

If you want to vomit read this story.

i c payback to some bitches.

Put in correct category.

Turn Gay and let fucking losers beat you.

What the hell was that supposed to be?

It is time Lit stepped up to the line and put stories like this in the categories they belong to. Otherwise just label this site Gay/Lesbian Fantasy Stories. In reality this is a reverse discrimination IR story where all the women in one company are BBC hos.

All of those women need to suffer, cruel, vicious and self centered people.

I hope these filthy horrible evil inhuman bunch of bitches vomit to death!

This fucking story sucks shit! Sick disgusting crap!

Besides needing an author (desperately), this clown author needs a life.

What the hell was that all about?

Get help. . .get some fucking heavy duty psychological help because you have REAL issues. Then again, maybe you should just kill yourself and do the world a favor. You're a sick piece of shit. Christ, I need a shower after reading this.

please find another hobby. perhaps something involving you jumping in front of high speed trains.

i agree with everyone else here, just plain sick. dont quit your day job, just slink off in humiliation. and im being kind whin i say that this story really SUCKS !!!!!!!

It's the only reason you would put this tripe in Loving Wives.

Don't fucking write anymore SICKO

... appears in a story does not make a BDSM story a LV tale. 1*.

... but the main reason isn't that you lack talent, but more that you probably classified your story in the wrong group. If it had been placed in the non-consensual / BDMS area it would most likely have found a more appreciative audience and been rated significantly higher.

Loving Wives is especially notorious for being the preferred hang-out for trolls and people who have never posted a story themselves but still "know exactly how a story should be written". Basically you jumped directly into the very shark-tank of Literotica with your first story. So take the harshest comments with a grain of salt. They say more about the posters own hangups and personal idiosyncrasies than your story.

And above all, don't let them discourage you. Good luck with the next one.

Also today a new baboon has arrived

and many other equally negative images await anyone who chooses to give up valuable time to read this waste of bandwidth.

the story is even worse!

go to a doctor you are sick. you need help.

stop writting that shit.

you are a shame to all men in the world.

So you won't write anymore of this vomit dreck. While you're at it, sit on a sharpened thick stake and get the kind of dick up your ass you deserve,,,you filthy, shit -eating faggot

Pure unadulterated undiluted completely useless fetid rotting putrified rubbish. Please don't write anymore.

Man you got a rating of 1.48 means most people have given u the lowest possible rating of 1 . I think this should be an indicator of your quality of writing. Yeow it couldn't be worse. Anyway this was the worst written story I read in a long time and on this site that's saying a lot. No logic no build up no coherence of thought no flow of story no structure to the story. Sorry a very very very very poor effort.

You should get no rating and stop posting.

Wow, come on it was this person's first attempt at writing a story - and if you remember your first story (assuming you write) it was probably worse. So give him a break and suggest how he can improve his efforts. Primarily, there really is no sense of reality here - why would anyone, male or female, be so weirdly sadistic just because his wife had an affair? What about her? Not to mention, the obvious legal angles. Individually the paragraphs/sentences seem fine, but they don't fit together at all - it is like several stories cobbled together. Finally, a "ladies and lads" day is ridiculous. So, keep writing, but it needs an editors and a lot of work.

On the positive side you have an imagination and the balls to put something you've written in the LW category.

On the negative side there's not much explanation of the how and why that make any sense to me. There's a need for an editor.

I suggest before writing another story, write an outline first so you know where you are headed, then flesh out the characters. Work on dialogue. Stay true to the story. After completing it let it rest for a day or so then re-read it to yourself, out loud. Find the missing/additional words, etc. Keep trying.

Caveat: Keep in mind that my writing is from the marketing/technical arena and is not from a fiction background.

Biggest load of crap I have ever read on this site. Please promise you will NEVER, EVER write another story.

Sadly lacking in the troll comments unfortunately.

This is hilarious so a point off for wrong category. Put it in Humor. 4*

Warning: You have to be an EXTREMELY sick person to enjoy a story like this and I mean HIGHLY, EXTREMELY, OVER THE TOP SICK!!!!

If it's to write stories about this...better to stop now and revised your thoughts...How can a man fall down so low? 1st - he forgives his cheating and disrespectful wife; 2nd - That city doesn't have courts of law for him to sue his bosses for bullying? As soon as he was slapped he should have been out and go to his lawyer...But like someone said the only way to read this and not puke is to take it to the laugh side...

Should be in BDSM or non consent category.

Should be BDSM. Nothing erotic in this story.

... watching paint dry...

WHY CAN'T ANY OF YOU CUNTS GET THE CATEGORIES RIGHT?!!? ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU FUCKING MODERATORS!!! OH, ITS ANOTHER STORY JUST PUT IT THERE NO BIG FUCKING DEAL! STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS IS WHY THIS SITE SUCKS!!

Total shit! You should kill yourself. That would make the world a better place.

Pretty fucked up fantasy. Dont date women, they deserve better.

And the stupidity that his boss was 22 started the stories downfall. Like all good employees do these days, he had his I-phone in his pocket and it was on record mode. Of course the cluster fuck of having all the women in his department watching was another plot failure. I guarantee you that during the lawsuit two or three of them tell the truth to avoid jail time as accomplices. And the asphyxia? Don't be an utter moron. The minute he bites her so badly that she start to gush blood that nonsense is done. This was simply a poorly conceived, horribly written story. Next time think through what you're writing and don't just flop words down on the page. No stars as even giving it one star would be an insult to the star.

Either one of those would have been a match. Loving Wives is not. The fact you used the humilation tag indicates that, on some level, you knew this yet choose to make fucking stupid decision. Is it because you want to get off on the people slamming you, your form of masochism?

First the bad, I agree with the one comment that the 22-year-old boss was a little difficult to swallow.if you're going to have a 22-year-old boss, you better explain why, The real bosses daughter or some other such issue. Unlike other people though I didn't let that ruin the story for me.my next, and frankly only other problem, was the wife. She's mentioned at the beginning, but not of the end. One more sentence at the end, "I can't imagine what I'm going to do when my wife finds out." Would have left the door open for the next installment of the story.again not an issue for me, just constructive criticism.

The rest of the story I thought was extraordinarily hot. Yes, I'm a little dick manwith submissive and cuckold fantasies but hey, that's me.if you get off on the humiliation thing, and I do, at least in fantasy,this was a great, well-written story, particularly for a first story.

Please keep writing, you make my little dick hard.

Total garbage loser.

Wish i could rate 0 stars so just kill yourself.

After reading the comments, I'm afraid to even look at this one. Didn't think it possible to get so many negative responses on a story. Must really be bad. Those few that praised this must really be some low lives. Moving on. Thanks for the heads up.

Pretty awful. Sorry.

Wait, his WIFE cheats on HIM, and HE is to be punished?

And just how do they think they are going to avoid payback?

If if he is unable to legally prove kidnapping, unlawful restraint, sexual assault and rape, surely he can take some extra-legal revenge.

I'd LOVE to see FinishTheDamnStory take that on!

is this the kind of feed back you want.

I only gave it a one as there is no ZERO in the ratings.

I don't care what anyone writes. This was a good read. Strange but good. If you didn't like this story, than write a better one.

Really wasn't a wife in it, except as history, and it's clearly BDSM at best (or worst.) Not to mention that it sucks....find another hobby or go write in the gay category since the rump rangers would probably like that kind of shit.

Let this be your last. (#1- would like to go lower)

If it aint revenge on the wife an the entire work force, he deserves every thing he got

He needs to get all wife James and all girls involved . Major lawsuits against the company and individuals and leave the slut wife. He can move on rich and satisfied

Bumm (er) haha. The two stories, are not well connected. The dommination by the boss and co workers, yea kinda worked for me. Keep trying !

Worthless story from a low life writer

Story 1: Sweetie is the avid cumdump for the stereotype Big Black Cock (who, of course, is the 'better man' and her Boss and loves humiliating Hubbies!). No suspense (and, certainly, her motivation to fuck UP is obvious) except how Hubby will react when he finds out! Since the Bull is SO stereotyped AND his race is the main 'shock' emphasis, this has to be Interracial!

Story 2: Bizarre (or Bizarrer!) This is EITHER Reluct/NonConsent or Fetish. Period. Not a smidgen of LW in this story. If it is set in Washington, it would be Workplace Violence!

Significantly disjointed!

Story 1: Sweetie is the avid cumdump for the stereotype Big Black Cock (who, of course, is the 'better man' and her Boss and loves humiliating Hubbies!). No suspense (and, certainly, her motivation to fuck UP is obvious) except how Hubby will react when he finds out! Since the Bull is SO stereotyped AND his race is the main 'shock' emphasis, this has to be Interracial!

Story 2: Bizarre (or Bizarrer!) This is EITHER Reluct/NonConsent or Fetish. Period. Not a smidgen of LW in this story. If it is set in Washington, it would be Workplace Violence!

Significantly disjointed!

I'd ignore the whining. People would find something to complain about no matter what category you put the story in. You should keep writing and keep reading and remember that even though the peanut gallery can be cruel, it's a real privilege to be able to express yourself creatively and there are great rewards if you keep at it.

I won't lie, the story is not much to my liking. It feels sloppy and unfocused. But being your first, that sort of thing is to be expected. The solution is to, as I said, write more and read more. It's hard work, but worth it. I think what you should take away from this experience is to keep at it, and don't let anyone tell you to do otherwise.

.....and take no revenge on Vicky or James,....AND you stay on and don't file sexual harassment suites against company officers and direct supervisors?

Oh, BTW....no company staffs the way you describe. And that is a lousy fantasy, should be more to the like of the BDSM crowd....I would think.

Big plot holes and weak grammar.

Please put more effort into editorial.

1*

There's no reason for you to continue

They broke the sissy in. He loved the humiliation and the treatment he got. Now they need to train him to dress like a bimbo, make up, walk in heels. Also, lock his useless dick in chastity. Let James and some of the other bi stud guys fuck sissy's pussy and breed him. Let he really feel what his hot wife felt. This was most likely his wife's idea. Oh and totally ignore the trolls on here. They are the real idiots.

says the idiotic nonce devilscuck whose only outlet from servitude in his mummy's basement is to comment on here and try to tell everyone what a superstud he is while wanking his little boy pecker. does your mum make you suck the cum out of her filthy diseased cunt after she lets some bloke cream up in her twat? i wouldnt be surprised by that you stupid wanker!

Needs resolution and payback. How about a part 2?

To be a FAGGOT !!!!

Or a "Fetish" category would have gotten you more reasonable feedback/scores. But there are more specialized cuckolding websites where a story like this would be received better.

more chapters please!!!!

but I like. rick oh, that to make a true loving wifes storie out of this

there needs to be payback in a big way

to his wife and the other bitches in this

Another story in a parallel world...Where there aren't police, where cheating is the right thing to do, where there aren no feelings (Love, care, respect, self-esteem)!!! This kind of world reminds me of Nazi's world!!! 1*

Why have they picked this one guy out to torture and humiliate? The story never gives a reason why. So, he leaves and comes back to work with an automatic weapon and kills every woman there. Now that would be a great followup to this.

If there was would you illuminate me?

....since you write this character like he thought he had it comes and still he stayed working there, still he stayed married to a round-heeled slut who was so low as to openly fuck a playa at his company Christmas party.

Hey after a night like that, any rational man would pack the car and head to the coast, catching a plane to the Caymans, never to be heard from again.....but only after burning his house to the ground with loverboy and wifey totally entwined, then blowing his employers facility to fine dust with everyone at work.

Hey, don't judge, it's as realistic as this story.....

He gets up dials 911 and everyone is arrested. He sue the company into bankruptcy, devorces his cheating wife and lives happy ever after. This needs a chapter two with context. 3* for imagination and effort.

This is a total waste of time and energy, all would be begging God for mercy! 2nd worst story I've read on Literotica,I won't mention the 1st (P.O.S.).

Only real idiots or brain sick people can write such a crap!! Are you smoking weed?

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the feedback, both the good and the (mainly) bad. I know the story probably isn't for everyone. I read it for the first time since it was submitted and it still managed to give me a boner ;-)

I can appreciate the story isn't the most well written on this site but when I wrote it I was absolutely stoned and unable to sleep so in those dark few hours I just let the contents of my mind spill out onto the page.

My aim wasn't to become the next R.R. Martin, I was simply horny and high and the writing helped to extend my buzz for a couple of hours.

I've given up on the old weed so don't see a part 2 happening but if anyone out there wants to extend the story I'd be more than happy for them to do so.

How can anyone “enjoy” a story about extreme humiliation and punishment? This really belongs in nonconsent or fetish.

The main course here as so little to do with his wife... It's as if you were looking for the outrage or something.

Ah well... it's trash alright. 'Nuff said.

yes but when is he going to get all those bitches back with some good revenge

This calls for a dose of the Saddletramp treatment... Just saying...

As above, so below average or even below, below average. You haven't improved any based on your second posting.

Saddletramp is right! Bring on Justice!

All stories involving the emasculation or other disrespect of either men or women suck. This one is just about the worst. I can't even give it a 1. There should be a negative numbering system to rate these stories. This one couldn't even be rated on that chart because no matter how low it went, this story would be worse than the worst score. Am I explaining myself adequately? I do not like this story.

The mind that spewed these fantasies of cruelty and dehumanization almost certainly suffers from severe, and very possibly dangerous, psychopathology.

WTF! What in God's name were you thinking when you penned this submission? What brain-bending substance were you imbibing? The good news is that therapy is but a phonecall away...seriously get help.

Absolute shite!!

Ugh!

I suppose this is titillating. To someone. Somewhere.

Thanks for writing this. I confess that it's not my cup of tea.

What a waste of 10 min! Only read to the end because I was hoping MC had a Glock in his desk drawer and would wipe out the whole bunch of bitches, before heading out to deal with James and the wife!!

I don't want to discourage you from writing again. You have talent. But the story was somewhere below stupid.

And so, Hannah began my transition into feminization...

Jak masz pisać takie brednie to nie pisz.