All Comments on 'Aunt Claire' Awakening'

You need to get someone to proofread and edit this.

I WAS A WELL DONE STORY WITH HIM NOT RUSHING TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS AUNT. YOU WORKED IT IN VERY NICELY. PLEASE DO MORE

I liked it very much and am looking forward to more submissions.

You paced the story beautifully all the way through to the climax. Well done!!!!!

One of the best stories I have read in a while.

Forget the punctuation babies crying!

Hope you write more.

Very well paced. Not caught up with discriptions of every detail. Liked the abused aunt enjoying sex for maybe the first time. Could have left room for more chapters of their fucking. Enjoyed slowly stroking as I read. Could have been a true story of your youth.

This is one of the best storylines I have read in some time. You had it paced just right. the description was good and the length, though short, was okay. I gave you four**** on the basis of punctuation. As written your story is a bit hard to read, the reader has to supply the punctuation, and in doing so is detracted from your story during the few moments required. What you want is for your reader to suspend belief enough to become one of your characters, and to remain in that state until completing the story.

This may seem picky, but it is the difference between a good story and a great story; four stars and five stars. I had the same trouble with my first stories and found Strunk and White to be a great help. It's available in print and in the writers resources section of Literotica.

Good luck and give us some further adventures of this couple. (Please excuse any mispelling; I'm not on my usual computer and spellcheck doesn't seem to be working.)

You lump too many ideas in one sentence. Break them down into chunks. Use more periods than comas to make your story more readable.

Cant wait to hear about the bristol gardens adventures

while he is at uni.

does it even need to be discussed that as his father's step sister she is not a relative?

Just curious, if she had a bad relationship with the grandparents of her step brother, how close was she to their parents?

I don't expect professional level writing, but this is filled with mistakes that I expect from a child. Using colons and semicolons does not make it look sophisticated, if that was your intention. It’s quite the opposite. This paragraph is a perfect example.

<P>

Sunday passed without incident and Monday was back to the weekly routine, I went to bed at 11pm Monday night and was asleep when an almighty clap of thunder woke me: I love thunderstorms, it was midnight, I decide to stand in the garden to watch the storm, I got out of bed, put my boxers on and crept silently downstairs, the mirror in the hallway was turned face against the wall, Looking at the back of the mirror and wondering what was going on, a shuffling noise from under the stair made me turn round, a flash of lightning lit up Aunt Claire huddled and shaking.

<P>

Sunday passed without incident and Monday was back to the weekly routine. I went to bed at 11pm Monday night and was asleep when an almighty clap of thunder woke me. I love thunderstorms. It was midnight, and I decide to stand in the garden to watch the storm. I got out of bed, put my boxers on and crept silently downstairs. The mirror in the hallway was turned face against the wall. Looking at the back of the mirror and wondering what was going on, a shuffling noise from under the stair made me turn round. A flash of lightning lit up Aunt Claire huddled and shaking.

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and constructive criticism. I'll take it on board for my next effort. H/T to thecarolinadreamer for your Stunk & White reference.

Now to anonymous @ 08/14/14, no comment about the story at all! Umm, you must lead an exciting, fulfilled and hectic life correcting punctuation on this site, maybe you should get out more.

You lived with her during that time in Exeter and joined an adults club in Brighton?

A long long way to go clubbing!

Check your geography.

They did not stay together, that kills the charm for me