by dsoul
I couldn't bear to read beyond the first couple of paragraphs .. Please, get an editor. Far too many spelling and grammatical errors that kept the story from being enjoyable.
i agree with the other comments
you need to learn to proofread
Having said that -- an dit is a huge distraction -- I really found the plot line to be very good -- engaging -- suspenseful. And the detective character well done -- nice retro style -- but the grammar etc is pretty bad.
Loved it! Got totally caught up in their little game, and wondered where it was going--only to be caught totally unawares, once the final truth was revealed!! You've got a talent, my friend; keep going, and tell those anon. naysayers to piss off!!! Yes, there were typos, but not nearly enough to distract from the overall effect of this really excellent tale. So just keep writing, DSoul; hope to read more from you on this site in the future!