by Ashson
... except for a few extraneous details there was nothing original about it
Jan needed to be more than the facilitator in this story, otherwise this could have just as easily been put under erotic couples. Jan could have been there to hold her hand while he took her for the first time. This calls out for at least one or two follow-up chapters where all three get involved during the same session.
I like the story but I have to agree with - Anonymous -...Having Jan be there would diffenetly made the story better...
That was fucking hot...I love the way you walked us through the emotions and reactions...I love how you didn't compicate things by adding in stupid crazy things it was just...right 5 stars