All Comments on 'Bad Penny Ch. 06'

1200 views, four voters. No comments. The votes have all been low - at least one '1' and nothing over '3'.

I don't mind the low votes as much as I mind the lack of feedback. Why so few votes, and why are they so low?

Readers should be aware that this site relies on unpaid writers to provide the content. Writers contribute for various reasons, but feedback is one of them. So give it a '1' if you wish, but do me the courtesy of saying why.

Given that all my previous submissions have ended up with scores above 4.00 as an average, and most above 4.5, I would sincerely like to know what I am now doing so wrong!

It feels like some sort of 'consensus' is emerging in the characters' relations and how Sean self-identifies with all this. It's a bit scary as the urge to maintain their idealism starts to exhaust itself, and people begin to close their minds around elemental truths. It feels as if some of them are just beginning to eye the exits, pondering how they can catch hold of some kind of lasting relationship with a desirable (all round) partner when the whole situaiton goes nuclear.

On the other hand, that pointing toward exits has always been a stark background reality all along. Even as Penny's hedonism grows apace, the inevitable suggestion sets in that Sean has helped (and allowed) the creation of a Frankenstein.

I admit I didn't see the illness angle coming. Of course for a lot of people, then as now, there are just health, as well as emotional and moral, considerations that hold people back from anything remotely like these situations. At the same time, given the underlying realism in the narrative it feels inevitable. Tho I admit (yet again) I need to reread to pick up hints I've missed; what did Naimh notice when she took Penny to the kitchen? Or what, for that matter, does the narrating Sean know "today" that he might conceal in his narrative? . . .

As a fan, I admit that keeping Penny in the background in this chapter could have diminished some people's connection with this chapter, but I think it was intriguing and I acknowledge the narrative importance of that. At this juncture Penny does seem to be mysterious, maybe in part because her lack of inhibitions is flattening her as a person. --The talk about the Emmanuelle books, which I've never read, also introduced some teasing angles. I'm not sure if that's just background noise or how much psychological import to read in, but it seems at least to mirror some of Naimh (am I spelling that right!!)'s thoughts about objectification, which seems to be something she resists more than Tara.

I guess there are always going to be feelings in me, as a reader, that want to smack Tara and Mike for starting this whole thing, and being so cool with Penny pattering around the house as a slave girl. But then we wouldn't have all this wealth of emotion and sensual excess, and obviously the story wouldn't be able to continue. I always look forward with butterflies to more!

My guess is that with the story spread over 18+ months, your readers have lost continuity and connection with your characters and the plot. I personally seldom comment on a multi part story that I have not followed because I do not want to speak about one part without thinking of how it fits it with the others.

@anon - I had not considered that point - I takes me so long to write these stories that I have to re-read them myself to keep the story consistent where it deviates from the reality on which it is based. Many thanks though for breaking your usual habit. I hope you feel it is worth going back and reading the rest of the story - if I say so myself I think some of the earlier chapters are considerably sexier than this one!

To follow along the recent posted comments--

I am a reader. I read a lot. Many, many stories in several venues. The writer, the author, is only writing one story, or perhaps a relatively limited number of stories, at a time. While I had this series in my Favorites list, I had to skim major sections of prior chapters to remind myself why it was on my list. Even then, short of rereading the entire set, I was a bit disgruntled at having lost so much detail. For the record, my enjoyment of this story is much less for any D/s as it is for the poignant nature of the characterization and the aching uncertainty of the relationships; it is almost too real life to be enjoyable.

For some very good genetically-related causes (too left brain), I am also a frustrated writer and envious of good writing, as demonstrated in this series. However, from this and many other examples of other authors in those several venues, I made at least these two determinations should I ever decide to post a story:

1. I would post the entire story at the same time; i.e., I would not post serial entries over an extended period.

2. Before I posted the first entry, I would have the conclusion written and ready for posting. Too many authors have left unfinished stories on the net, at least within the context of the free story sites I visit. Since they're free, I can't complain, but I can learn.

As to rating stories--

Erotic story-reading is a quest for perfect fantasy-fulfillment. I reckon that's why so many readers feel comfortable in posting comments telling the author what themes or details he or she should have included in a story. They're frustrated because the story wasn't perfect for their fantasy and, after all, that's why they read the stories. For my part, I think that suggesting that an artist should "correct" his vision is, well, absurd. This is especially so if the story is based on real events, as this one seems to be. But many readers so identify with this type of literature that they are personally offended when all their needs aren't met.

In this same vein, eroticism is a deeply visceral experience, and often darkly so. While some read and enjoy a story, they may be disturbed by their own pleasure. The story's author is the convenient dog to kick and a means to try to allay their guilt.

Because of the fantasy quest mentioned earlier, I save my five-star ratings for good (i.e., style, grammar, spelling, punctuation, syntax, etc.) and creative writing (IMO), that also happens to best push all my buttons. Sorry; in the quest for my perfect erotica, altruism has met its limit. I save the four-star ratings for creative content and good writing (IMO). Iffy but creative writing (IMO) gets a three and I seldom finish or rate poorly written stories. This story is very good; I suspect the fact that it is reality-based keeps it from being "perfect" for my quest.

MVP, thanks for your work.

@CowboyZG - much food for thought here. I write when I can, so much is done on my phone in a few minutes snatched from a busy day. Hence it takes me so long to write these days, as I am much busier than I was when I started posting Bad Penny, and the other stories. I have the ending in mind, and the arc that gets there for this story because, as you suggest, it is deeply reality based. The others (If I Knew Then and Life Sentence) are admittedly not so well plotted out. Life Sentence began as a nightmare dream that needed exorcism, and grew into a story that unexpectedly twisted and turned until it came to a natural conclusion. It was an experiment in writing, and I indulged myself. If I Knew Then... is purer fantasy, and while I have many ideas of how it may develop it seems strange to think of it having a conclusion - it is a journey rather than a tale.

Bad Penny has had an end point in sight since I started it, but recently I have discovered something that may lead to a sequel, and I found I had to write that up before I could get on with the tale I was telling, so that delayed me. However the next instalment is nearly ready... I hope you enjoy it.

I've stuck with this despite the occasional repeat experience ie first time with Tara and Mike which was covered in an earlier chapter and then repeated here .I think the author doth protest too much regarding the homosexual content when with Niahm as I recall Penny and Mike taking turns to spear themselves on his body in an earlier chapter with little complaint .

Anyone reading this really has to come to the conclusion it contains a great deal of reality as stated .My own suspicions hit around chapter two .Its a wonderful study in human psychology .How far is too far ? Can a deeply disturbed psyche like Tara's corrupt those who may never have uncovered the hedonism inside themselves and is that good thing or a bad thing ? For me personally ..it's a bad thing and be damned to those saying "hey it was all consensual and no one got hurt" because that simply isn't true both emotionally and physically as this story proves . I do feel a smidgeon more tolerance for Sean having read further and I'm afraid I feel nothing but disgust and pity for Penny .Wonderfully written and isn't it strange that when scenes are described of repeatedly increasing debauchery they all roll in to one and become less erotic and almost mundane .

As I re-read each section I am discovering plenty of new and illuminating angles. This chapter, in particular, is blessed with fantastic comments from other readers and I think they highlight the problems that series fiction can be prone to having.