All Comments on 'Badge of Betrayal'

Good guy? Cheats on wife with mother inlaw, tampers with evidence, encourages illegal wiretapping etc, bribes staff, cheats on girlfriend, etc.

But I couldn't stop reading - entertaining story.

Simply a great story. One of the best that I've ever read on this site. You are now my favorite Literotica author. Thank you.

What happened to the rest of the story - was on page 13 -- now only 2 pages

Sorry, I could only give this a 5 because there is no ten. Once I got started I could not stop. Great read Great story!!!! Keep up the good work.

Great story!

This is a 2 page story about a police action.

Something has gone wrong

I was on page16 yesterday and today it only shows two pages what's happening???

You should have left the longer version up. People don't have to read the whole thing at once. This serialization or whatever it is is now to o short.

anon.1

Or what the hell happened here, but damn glad I stayed up late to finiah all 26 pages before it disappeared. Bravo, sir.

Yesterday I was reading page 19. Today there are only 2 pages & the Author is not listed. What happened to the rest of this story?

Was on page 21 and now can't read past page 2. Please let those of us in the middle (it is long, after all), finish reading. Pretty good up to where I was reading, but the last few pages of the mystery novel have been torn out! By the way, some newer revolvers have keys to lock them and make them inoperable, but there is no safety to flip off like many semi-autos have. Another reader pointed this out as well. So far this story gets a five but I can't submit the score until I get to finish reading it!

... The first decent story, in this particular category, on this site in weeks and it gets yanked. Sadly, pretty typical for this site.

For screwing around with the story while I was halfway through it. Looks like nothing but 1's for you from here on out.

I enjoyed the story. Original plot line was refreshing and the little touches about the police workplace were spot on - nice research!

The editing was very good. Story moved at a smooth pace with little or no misspellings or autocorrect glitches throwing in a wrong word.

If I have any criticism it is over the Mother in Law twist. I think that it was an alley that added nothing to the story. If it did anything at all I think it lessened the sympathy that I had with the main character. Unneeded and ineffective plot device that took away much more than it added to the tale.

That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed the story and look forward to future submissions by the author.

...on a Taurus revolver.

almost made it to the end of your tale and then it was gone. you put it on a pay site?

tale was going ok but I hate that it is gone. no rating

I had almost finished this story. Now it has been cut down to show only the first two pages. Why? Was it the author who did it? Was it the site who took the rest of the pages off? Someone should explain why the removal.

Well done as far as I got. Up to page 21 I couldn't put it down. I really hope to be able to finish it.

Dan

Another one for " Finish the same story"

Made it to the epilogue, than suddenly I'm back on page two.

Cog

...but this one kept me reading all through in one single session despite a serious headache caused by the small fonts. I was obviously smitten by this author. But when I got to the end (no longer available on Lit at the moment - what happened?), there was a slight disappointment: the malicious wife got off scot free, probably even getting cutody of the poor boys. She was an equal partner in the cruel complot against her husband - trying to give him a lifelong time with bubba in prison. That is far more than most of the cheaters in other stories on this site did or tried to do against their spouses. So, if anybody deserved a BTB-ending this would be Clarissa. Even so because she is not really repentend and rueful, obviously still the golddigger she was when turning her affection over to Bud.

Like in many stories in this category I asked myself how blind a husband can be to marry such a woman and not ever find out about such severe character faults. But that seems to happen sometimes and might be the driving force behind this kind of stories.

5* from me & thanks for sharing

Thank you, SB. Your explanation absolves you of any unfavorable activity. Cheers!

I started reading (I enlarged the font) but couldn't finish after only 1 page. Now instead of 26 there are only 2 left. Hope the rest of the story follows real soon and isn't streched out over 10 or more weeks. Very promising 1st part.

What's going on here? Some comments only about 5 of 132 show up suggest this is a long story. Only 2 pages appear now. Nothing about a wife girlfriend fiancée or anything suggesting any relationship except a father kidnapping his child. Most of the comments have the response that they are under review? Nothing here at least what I can see to warrant a 4.66 score - reads like dragnet lol

A revolver with a safety. That's what the double action/single action hammer is for, prevents the need for such overengineering.

Most certainly not a story belonging in Literotica and most certainly not any where near a completed story. Fragment of story (I assume it is a fragment) reads like a Police Gazette tale. Therefore, 1-star.

Seems the Lit gremlins have been defeated and the entire story is back online without the messed up text sizing.

anytime the sick pricks get nailed in a story or real life 99 percent of the population is happy, just the few sickos get upset.

Geez, this is not the first great story of this length. Once I started, I couldn't put it down. A number of the better authors here have posted a long work like this.

It's like reading a story involving cuckoldry, after being warned by the reader that that is the subject of the story, then complaining about how much you wanted to vomit, the whole time you were reading the story.

You can see it's 26 pages long right out of the gate, so why complain about the length? The only way you could do that would be if the story dragged, without development of the plot; poor characterization; there were no people to root for or to want to see get taken down; the use of language was too poor to want to wade through; etc. None of that is the case.

It doesn't have to be broken up into chapters. You can read it in one sitting, easily. I am so grateful it wasn't posted chapter by chapter, as that is like waiting to see what happens next week on a TV show. I prefer to buy all the seasons on DVD and watch them at my own pace.

I have books that I have sitting in my house that I bought years ago at actual bookstores, after perusing them, thinking they were going to entertain me, and I never finished them. This story made me want to finish and left me sated at the end, like a good meal.

Kudos, soldierboy!

Not the writer, who has had to re-jig his work into chapters for the benefit of the short attention span brigade

Not the short attention span brigade, who will see no chapter numbers and will get all confused.

Not the Literotica people who will have that much more re-jigging of the chapter numbers and will have to ask Soldierboy for sequential " story so far" paragraphs.

And most of all, Not Me, who went through Sixteen pages out of the 26 or so, and came back on Day Three to finish it all, only to find that not only has the rest of the tale disappeared, but also I'm back to Page Two, and it'll be a week or so before I'm back to where I was.

Alas Alack.

Cheers, and Thanks for this tale which I enjoyed the first (half) time and will do again.

Kilroy.

A good story, almost a small book...Need time to read it all...

Same story with two cheaters. Still will not like it regardless of how many chapters are posted each day. Posting a bad story in this manner does not make it any better. Just write a new one with some definitely lines on who loves who and is dedicated to a real marriage. One bad guy is enough and your infatuation wit the police being the great saviors of our time is a little far fetched.

I've never read a story more than 10 pages before; this one was worth it. If this doesn't deserve a 5* what does?

I stopped reading at the part where the husband cheated with his mother-in-law. He can't claim the moral ground. 26 pages is a lot of reading with nothing to look forward to.

Good story. Good plot, despite the naysayers comments about the morals of the hero. Spent time in "River City". Nice neck of the woods. Sure glad the SNAFU got squared away. Cheers!

. . .some probably good, some having an opinion on something, even one of mine bemoaning my fate.

The question is, after barely three days on the scene how should we regard this score.

On a Comments per page basis, Soldierboy has overspent on carbon paper. But on a straight-out number of comments basis, this story out-comments most, by a large margin. Look back in three weeks time and see.

Other authors would have done it differently, no doubt, Stang in 15 pages with Mustang Cruisers, HDK would have called it something about a 'Silver Hammer' or 'With a Little Help from My Friends'.

In any event, this was a damned good story.

Cheers, and Grateful Thanks,

Kilroy.

His cheating HARDLY vindicated her cheating. She had carried on a two-year affair, conspired against him to take away his family, freedom and honor, all the while denying him his conjugal rights.

And despite her claims, she never loved her lover, just the status she hoped to gain.

HIS "cheating" was with a woman he LOVED, who cared for him in his hour of need (granted she had strong reason to do so!), unlike his wife who didn't come to visit him for two days after he came out of his coma, and wouldn't even bring his children.to visit often enough.

145 comments and a 2nd print. Told you in my 1st comment you knocked it out of the park!!! And you had a winner on your hands. EXELENT WORK .

A good telling of a story about some very unlikeable people. We all know that the divorce rate among cops is high, this demonstrates why. Yes, heart attack when I had to take a break at p18 and then found the rest was not there! Anyway good in the end. Thanks for writing.

One of the best-told LW stories ever! And, other than the ever-popular "I vs. me" errors, written with extremely good mechanics. Lots of cleaver lines/phrases - my favorite = the wonder bra sentence. How many readers knew who Audie Murphy was?

Well, I'll be honest here, I came to literotica today to find a good story to jack off to. I got hooked into Just Plain Bob's story and then I saw yours. I decided to take a chance and I started reading. I got sucked in and it was literally 6 pages before I looked down and realized I had 20 pages to go. By then any masturbatory thoughts were gone.

Your story showed an extreme attention to detail that is definitely rare in the erotic story world. Most just do the littlest they can to do the setup and then get right to sex. I actually skipped the sex scenes altogether. Well, except for some with the Mom-n-law at the beginning of it….lol.

Anyways, great story. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.

I have to admit, I was on page 18 and realized my heart was pounding! What an incredible story by an incredible author.

I have to admit I was disappointed Bud and The Cunt didn't go down in flames and land in prison, while Pat took his boys, married Shannon and took beautiful little Bridget under his belt, adopting her with his own last name.

Perhaps a follow up to this story to do something like that? Hmmm? HMMMMMM?!

One hell of a story! could not put it down. It may be the best I have read on literotica.

... Even though the first submission was probably a mistake, I applaud your decision to re-submit the story in all of it's 26 page glory. It would have been just as tedious if spread out in 9 or 10 parts and the plot of the story wouldn't, in my opinion, have flowed nearly as well. Hopefully, now that you've shown the ambition and courage to submit such a long story, others will see the glowing comments that this story has received and maybe we, as readers, will see less of those multiple part stories spread out over several weeks. I can only hope.

Well written, a bit long on details.

Pat did what he had to do to save his career, I commend him for that. But he was an asshole and a hypocrite concerning his marriage. Although Clarissa had the affair long before he started cheating he made himself look like he was totally innocent in the marriage. It was almost comical that he gave his sob story but always left out his cheating. Both him and Clarissa were selfish and the mother- in-law too. All three said they loved each other but they continued to hurt each other over and over.

From how it doesn't take much for Pat to lust after females that throw themselves at him I'm surprised he didn't cheat more then with Shannon and the mother-in-law.

Clarissa not only had started her affair long before but she also cut-off sex with Pat at Buds request.

The only reason Pat stayed was his children, the marriage was dead.

After one spouse cheats the marriage contract is broken, void, no longer binding on the other spouse.

Pat was not cheating, he did not owe fidelity to Clarissa.

Not hypocrisy but basic contract law.

I really enjoyed this story but would have liked to see the Viet Nam vet play a little bigger role. Still enjoyed it though.

and it really should be expanded into a novel.

I think you need to find a literary agent.

Thought perhaps too much detail on sexual exploits..still, well written and (as noted by others) shows the author has real talent.

Clearly you are a remarkable writer. Unfortunately, your plot dragged me along for too long. That is my issue though. I prefer to act quickly and decisively. When he got home from the conference and found the sheriff in his house he should have killed them both and disposed of the bodies. Then gone back to the conference and "nobody knows nothing". Believe me, most cops would follow this course of action. They would not play games

A typical hero in a LW story live with the frustration his wife imposed upon him without bedding down with another woman until the wife's cheating had been discovered, and possibly not until she had been confronted with it and served with divorce. Pat doesn't do that.

A traditional heroic figure would "do the right thing," expose Bud and his cronies and see them get their due, then set about to seek out and right their wrongs. Pat definitely does not do that. He turns the tables on them, comes out the winner but makes deals with them, chooses his new cronies and likely will go on to become the new Bud.

Credit where credit is due, he did save the little girl at the beginning. His one bona fide hero credit.

After reading 160 comments, most of them gushing with praise, I wonder if I just read the same story. In the beginning it was was a page-turner. Clever story line. Then about the mid-point it started going down hill . . . fast.

Much of the computer wizardry was just a technical fairy tale, although it was key to the story line. That's like building a house on sand.

The worst part of the plot were the double standards the hero possessed. It was okay when he screwed around with two other women, but it was unacceptable when he found his wife did the same thing. And others could perform unlawful acts while setting up the hero for several prison life sentences, but when he turned the tables on them and also performed unlawful acts, he was as pure as the driven snow. In this venue, I've read two stories where the good guy killed the bad guy. I find that unacceptable. I have the same opinion about this guy's double standard when it involves him performing criminal acts. Unacceptable. Stories here are for entertainment, not for moral corruption.

Finally, I know they are nits, but there were a lot of Freshman-like grammatical errors. When authors here don't even have another person read his story before publishing it, I wonder if it is ego or ignorance. Volunteer editors work here for free. This is an excellent instance where one could improve the quality of a good story to an outstanding one.

At last got to read all 26 pages really enjoyed it, thank you..

it was a good piece of writing with minor spelling mistakes but i have to know......what happenned to clarissa

Yeah what happened to Clairissa?

5x5+++

"The only stupid fucking idiot," I calmly replied, "is you two, Bud and Marion. Have a seat. Take a closer look at those emails and text messages."

++++++++++++++++

That said it all.

26 pages and there's no one believable, loveable, or even credible character.

I actually took time to read the SLOW SET UP, of the first a couple pages, and I thought this was going to be a BACK BRISTOL sort of a story with, if nothing else, good and intelligent and interesting dialogues or just good, intelligent MONOLOGUES.

None.

My thoughts for what they are worth

Some Quality Authors offered some good advice...IE Brittease, HardDaysNIght. Ignore criticism from all "Anonymous" Misogynists may as well listen to your dog fart. Dangling participles, run-on sentences, verb tense all items can be picked up by reading out loud to yourself....better yet accept help from Lit's volunteer editors. Can't wait for your next!

Thanks for a good read,

SliperyRox

For a few years I worked for an Air Force Colonel where I received complaints everything from personnel to EEO.

His standing procedure was if you don't have the guts to sign the document, then we don't have the time to do anything about it.

as for me, If you feel the urge to criticize, you best be showing me you have some sort of standing in the community.

I did so much writing when I was with the AF that I read for the story, not to pick it to death.

If I am reading a story and it is not sitting well, I quit reading and sure as hell don't run to the comments and blow my horn. If I do have something to say i do it the feedback area.

Reward in public; correct in private

Loved it!

Great Novel!

I want a hard copy.!!!

What a fantastic story. You are definitely a brilliant writer. This story was believable from the beginning to end. 10 stars.

Like the long stories too and don't want it to end either...

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

But then it seemed to just dawdle. Reminds me of "When we were married" by Daniel Q. Steele. Everything just goes perfectly right for the good guy and things just fall into his lap. No confrontation, no melodrama, no human frailties. Cute, but ultimately bland.

IMHO.

Worthy of five stars. It was a bit long - and I am generally a big fan of lengthy stories. It just seemed like the length of the story did not match the intricacy of the plot. For example, had he simply gone into his own home with his phone in voice record mode, then he would have gotten a full confession the moment he first caught his wife with Bud. Problem solved. High quality writing.

Fabulous, mind-blowing; range of emotions, pain, love, lust, betrayal, retribution; but the best part is the hero decides not to punish the cheating wife, which I think is the worst punishment one can think of. Gripping from the beginning to the end.

I often pass over such long stories mostly due to time constraints. By the time I finished the first page, I was hooked and just read it in a couple sessions. I can't even with some of the negative responses as I felt you told the story completely and in a logical manner

My only question not being cop smart but don't understand the import of missing records on closed cases.

This story began with a bang. Who can argue with a good cops n’ robbers chase sequence? Add in a captured child and you have the reader hooked.

However, my expectations were quickly deflated when our hero was introduced in the hospital. You went for the cliché of having him become enamored with his nurse. Then you compounded the cliché by having the nurse be mother of our kidnap victim. It’s a small town, but couldn’t you have devised a less predictable lover interest?

Just when I was prepared to abandon the story you through me a curve. You have our hero divulge an illicit sexual relationship with his mother-in-law. What a risk! This disclosure threatened to evaporate whatever goodwill the reader had for our hero to this point. As a reader I was hooked.

Throughout the story random elements kept popping up, new personalities, awkward situations and interesting challenges. The advantage of such a long tale is your ability to develop a story in depth…and you did.

I thoroughly enjoyed your storytelling and fully appreciated your taking of risks that many authors avoid. Kudos to you!

As a former Chief Deputy, I could really appreciate your protagonist! I gave it a well-deserved Five Stars!

Rarely have I had so many mixed feelings about a story. Hard charging police "hero" who gets his knob gobbled by his MIL ends up depending almost COMPLETELY on illegal activity by a pothead hacker to set up his arch nemesis. He takes care of a homeless vet he should have been taking care of just to keep him on his side, and doesn't notice either his wife fucking his best friend or the resentment of EVERYONE on the force at his preferential treatment. Some cop.

Considering how long you took to tell the story, wrapping it up with a cheesy speech, a half-hearted half-assed ass fuck, and no resolution for Clarissa, Shannon, or the boys, who are shuttled around like political refugees, and then delivering the "New Sherriff in Town" line.... well, I'm back down to a 3

and stir up the masses on the journey. almost 200 comments in only a few days indicates strong feelings, and they seem to be in all different directions. I guess that is the mark of a good writer. Whether I liked the characters, or the story, at this point seems insignificant.

Pat is a good and honest cop. (Not!) A cop who consorts with drug dealers, seeks the assistance of the drug dealer in enough Federal Offense Computer crimes to go to jail for about as Bud long as planned for him to go to jail, promotes the officer who is aiding and abetting the computer whizz's drug dealing, commits Federal Child Pornoghraphy Offenses in conspiring with the computer whiz to print, and move the Child Pornography. (Electronically "touching" the child porn is possession, and printing and moving is distribution. Pat's requesting or directing the computer whiz to do this is conspiracy to commit those crimes, and Pat can be sentenced to the same amount of jail the computer whiz is facing.) The evidence custodian essentially receives no pnishment (he gets to keep A job!) and in some senses, the evidence custodian is even more evil than Bud and Clarissa. They at least dislike (hate, loath, despise, or whatever), Pat; while the evidence custodian deliberstely goes along with a months' long scheme to imprison an innocent man for life, AND potentially release several murderers onto the streets. Pat is also a mother (in-law) fucker, who in Pat's mind cheated first. As the story ends, Bud is put out to pasture with a taxpayer-funded pension, and Clarissa gets served with a divorce decree. Shannon after celibacy for seven years, boinks Pat with Bridget sleeping nearby, and able to see the two of them nude if she wakes up. (Shannon at least has a reasonable enotional and psychological basis for liking and then loving Pat. He saved her daughter's life and put an end to at least 7 years of ohysical and mental torture from her ex-boyfriend). Shannon's mother apparntly doesn't mind Shannon being Pat'sadulterous mistress, and her father is opposed until he hears how likely it is that Pat is gong to jail for the rest of his life. No one here, other than the children appear to be "good", there are only shades of black (Bud, Clarissa, the D.A., the evidence custodian), and varying shades fo dark gray for the rest of the adults.

On another matter, what happens next? You had 26 pages (and from your comment--9 months) putting this together. So who gets punished, if anyone? What happens to Pat and Clarissa's children? Does Pat get DNA tests to see if Clarissa had other liover? Pat lives less than a four hour drive to Minneapolis-St. Paul. So, the states in which the fictional town of Red River Falls can be, are Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Michigan (the Upper Peninsula), and extreme eastern North and South Dakota. Only the Dakotas recognize adultery as a basis for divorce (as of 2014). Only South Dakota still recognizes "alienation of affection" law suits. It appears Clarissa does not work (no source of income). The oldest child is in junior high school (at least 7th grade), so he is 12 or 13 years old. There is no hint that the children are not Pat's. So unless they live in South Dakota, based on the length of the marriage, Clarissa's lack of a job and no recent job skills, Clarissa gets custody, child support, alimony, and an equitable distribution of the proprty. She probably gets the house, until the yongest boy is 18. That is, UNLESS, Pat uses some of the criminal activites by Clarissa to get the upper hand.

So, after 26 pages, how about a few more to finish the story? (As you implied in your comment.)

Nearly lost me when I realised how long the story was, well done, epic tale.

it is forever a work in progress, never ending, TK U MLJ LV NV

I simply don't have time to wade through all of the comments to see if anybody besides TwoCrows called you out on the revolver-with-a-safety thing (soldierboy, hunh? what was YOUR mos?)

Twenty-six pages. Intimidating, at first. Definitely entertaining. You got chops. You could do with a bit more time on the research front. (From carrying a .40 semi-auto, to a .38 revolver (in the 21st century?), back to a .40? Whatever.) But you do draw a reader in. That's the battle right there.

But fucking (no pun intended) your mom-in-law? Eww. Yeah, I'm SOLD on your Catholicism.

You did write a good story, thou. If that happened 555ssssss all the way.

bill

I hate lamb and asparagus too. My second reading of this engaging tale and I enjoyed it more this time around. Took me most of the afternoon and evening. Geeze it's a long sucker! Good writing from the corn patch! Cheers!

don't let the critics ruin your day. it was a great story well told. i enjoyed it throughly

"Just exactly how old are some of those girls in the fifteen pictures and five video clips you have stashed in that encrypted file on the c-drive of your home computer?"

Even the fucktards who didn't like this story must be able to appreciate that little bit! That was an "open fly, insert vise grips" moment indeed. Granted, I'd normally prefer more burning of the bitches, but the success of the hero in the end is enough to make up for it. Graded it a five, would grade it higher still were I able.

Sorry to those who caught the issue with the bad guy's firearm at the beginning of the story. That was a complete no-brainer on my part. Initially the bad guy, William Raymond Jackson, was going to wield a Desert Eagle .50 caliber handgun. I thought that was WAY too ostentatious for a small-time drug dealer and so I dialed it down a bit to the Taurus Raging Bull. HOWEVER, in my haste and lack of proper editing, I neglected to change out the problem with the safety on the Desert Eagle for a problem with the cylinder release on the raging bull. As such you have the wrong problem for the wrong firearm. Good eyes for those who caught my glaring mistake and I'll try not to let it happen again!

sb5, I want to compliment you for a what terrific story is "Badge of Betrayal". And how jealous I am that you imagineered such a ethically challenged, even morally repugnant character as your protagonist.

For those readers who never leave their mommies basement, real life people do commit honest and illegal activities. Real life people double-think as they compartmentalize their lives to get through each day with a measure of sanity. Real Humans are heroes and villains, the reality of real life is that it is relativistic. Pious moralists always refuse to look into the mirror.

For those griping about the length of the story, they should check this out. On the average, each Literotica page contains an average of 3,500+/- words. The word processor I use is Mac/Pages. Holding an average of 500 words per page.

Which means I have to write 5 to 8 pages to fill one one page on Literotica.

I challenge any of you to get a pad of college-ruled lined paper and a pen and write out 500 words. Then you have to correct and edit and structure it. Drop me an email in a couple of weeks when you've completed this 'simple' task of ONE page.

As for the technical problems, on a FREE porn site that pays their employees out of whatever revenue is generated by the advertising they carry.

So? What the fuck did you expect? Rainbows and unicorns?

I will quote myself on this subject, ahem: "We are NOT surprised that our technology fails so often. The ONLY surprise is that it ever works at all!"

Think of the mishmash of assorted incompatible machinery, operating systems, programs, aps, networks and bungling humans involved.

Truly, Rube Goldberg would shed tears of joy, seeing what our monkey fingers have done to his dream of the Perfect Machine , That Consumes So Many Resources, Uses So Much Energy, To Accomplish So Little.

Just to provide you little wankers out there reading this, an opportunity to pull your little puddin's.

Yes, I love how the bad guy gets his and how the good guy got to grow up. Though in his circumstance it was not the fact that he was married to a cheater since he was one also, it was that she was trying to betray him. So, you can't hate the wife for being a cheater since he was just as bad as her in that. What I found terrible was that she was so morally bankrupt to both cheat AND have him killed.

Honestly...a police officer in prison? He is a dead man or wishes he would be very soon after getting in. The DA being in on it? Not surprised. I feel he did get his measure of revenge, while not an equal measure it seems that your "Hero" did what was right. Funny how both what is "fair" and what is "right" are seldom the same thing. Oh they share certain aspects of the other...but the end result he wanted was acheived.

I have more to say, but it is not suitable for the comments section of this story.

Sincerely, Payenbrant.

I liked the story, but I feel it started off a little slow. The husband was a really shitty husband and the wife was an even shittier wife--they belong together. The husband has been fucking his wife's mom and the wife has been fucking her husband's boss/bestie. The author didn't even mention Shannon anymore. I honestly expected a hell of a lot more drama with 26 pages. the husband payback was soooooooooooooooo weak! I thought he'd go nuclear instead he breaks up the affair--why? I would've just let them be together. Kick the slut out call it a day but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-- she gets divorce papers and that's it. Bud doesn't pay, Marion doesn't pay and the slut wife doesn't pay.... they tried to destroy him, they tried to take his freedom and his kids and all they all got was a slap on the wrist and a no no no. Weak.

Good story, well written. I look forward to more

then I saw that there was 26 pages of this story, that were simply fill in for the story, and not really saying much at all ! Stories that are written in this manner just get drug out and tiresome. I gave this one a two star rating......

Stories like this should be broken up to make them readable. Few people want 26 unchaptered.pages

"Are you not happy about this or something?" – Of course not, it messes up her cheating schedule.

I thought it was interesting that he and Bud didn’t go together.

Even if Clarissa TRULY couldn’t have sex, say even WITH the medication, she could still give him oral relief!

I’d say fuck it, they’re going to continue to fuck with him, and will ruin him if he tries to stop them, blow Bud’s fucking brains out, his life is ruined anyway.

"You have to think about the boys," - Like SHE thought about the boys when she didn’t take them as often as possible to see their HERO father? Like SHE’S thinking about them now, going along with Bud’s threats to ruin their father?

"I'm fighting for our family here. I wish that you would fight for your family, too." – Too bad she didn’t want to fight for their family when she was FUCKING Bud!

Nice one,I am going to read the next one,maybe he will thorw some revenge it that

I didn't even bother looking at how many pages it was. I just couldn't stop.

One criticism I have is actually more of a suggestion, by which I mean plea. Please give us an epilogue where the bitch gets served, eats into drugs, loses custody and ten sees Pat with his new wife. Not too BTB as apathy should be the feeling she gets from her ex but atleast let her feel actual remorse and realise how big a fuck up it actually was.

I hope this is not the wsy things go in police jobs.

I really like it keep writing.

About as full of backstabbing as it can get. At moments I was truly depressed but

I came out of it quite happy. Still the author seems to be saying that is correct to bend the law!

Ok, SoldierBoy50401,

Everybody's a critic! Forget 'em! I stayed up all night and read everyone of your stories. You're DAMN good!!!! You had me on a pins and needless emotional roller coaster so much that I really needed to finish the story before I even contemplated sleeping!!! And that was after staying up all night, finally looking at the clock somewhere around 6:38 a.m.!!!! That's a real sign of a good story for me.

There were grammatical errors. Yeah, so? You mixed up your character names a few times. Yeah, so? I can only imagine your brain was working faster than your fingers, and sometimes those things cross signals. So, my brain was able to auto correct it while reading, I knew what you ment. I've read epublished books from named authors that have the same issue. Big deal, blame the publishing/autocorrect software. Just a sign that we can't let the machines take over everything, they really don't self check, and, that human proofreading is necessary.

And, if some one looks at 26 pages as too much to read, well, tell them to finish reading their First Grader books first before they decide to take on the big boy/girl books!!! 26 pages on here is 8 pages printed, at least page 17 was! Hehehe. I read everything on my iPad. Try reading 750 to 2000+ pages from a epublished author on iBooks, that's a hell of a lot more pages, and finding the same errors. And I paid for those books, too! 26 pages is nothing, except an extremely good story. Grow up people!!! If they're looking for 5 or so pages to read then they have the attention span of a nat! And a story with that few pages probably it's not going to be worth my time.

I really am looking forward to following your writing career, you have a wickedly creative mind. Don't know how I even found this website, but I'm glad I did. Found you!

Yvette in SoCal.

Great story, well worth the read. I think that's the best compliment an author can be given.

Cinco Estrellas (5 Star)!

The only thing that disappointed in all the technical jargon was saying a Taurus revolver has a safety.

Fantastic story. Enjoyed it immensely. Thank you very much.

It has been a long time since I read this and found it just as good of a read as what I remembered. Great job! The only thing I would have done was let Bud have the wife and save on alimony payments as well the probable fight for the country property he obviously treasured so much. The added benefit of seeing his ambitious ex married to a has-been would have been frosting on the cake.

they shouldn't hesitate and wait for the flow-back. TK U MLJ LV NV

One of the best stories of this genre that I have ever read. Fully enjoyed it. I absolutely cannot stand stories about a good man, a loving husband and father, forced to sit back while his whorish, selfish, brutal wife uses their marital bed to perform sexual acts with some sleazebag or even willingly participate in gangbangs. Finally, the good guy wins for a change. Great attention to detail. Thorough

Left the reader wanting more. Excellent 5-Star reading. Proud to claim it as a favorite.

I couldn't stop reading it ! I enjoyed this one. Thanks kid ... great story and a great way you led me through it. You're a good writer but one thing you have to have for a great story is that kind of imagination to dream up something like this. Good job. Scotty