All Comments on 'Bee and David Ch. 03 Pt. 02'

with the way you describe the pull they feel it almost seems supernatural. be kinda cool if it turned out he was a were.

I've waited for this chapter for a week that felt like a month to find that you changed your writing style...before this you were more light, more fragile with these characters...now something seemed forced. Please just be you, the you who made me fall in love with your characters...dont worry about the comparisons...just be you

I am not feeling this chapter at all...please don't tell me he is going to be some vampire or dark angel.

I loved this chapter!! What does David really do for a living? Anyway, I wonder if Bee will be upset once she finds out (if she finds out) that David has a file on her. David is much more powerful than Bee knows. I don't know, it's most likely innocent and a way for David to know more about Bee, but invading someone's privacy like that pisses me off to no end. Like I said, David seems powerful and I know he would not go into something with someone blindly and not knowing everything about them, but what does Bee know about him? Nothing. Great update!

I say let the story take you where it wants to take you... Remember do what you want to do and have fun doing it....... Thanks for the story :)

I love this story but I actually had to double check that it was the same story. The tone and style switched rather abruptly. I felt like I was getting to know two different characters instead of delving deeper into the ones you introduced in the first couple chapters. However I still enjoyed it.

Why is he coming a file on her? Who is David?

It can go in many directtions and throughly enjoyable. Good writing, but make the pages 3 or more, now I feel a bit empty even though it is a very good story!

The characters are very good, even though you are not telling the story through them!

I went back and read the other chapters before this to see if I could find any similarities between 50 Shades and this story and ughhh I found some :( When bee bit her lip and he practically almost came in his pants I was like OH COME ON THATS SO FIFTY

She nervously bit the corner of her mouth.

He watched her through hooded eyes, "You know what that does to me."

mannn you know thats 50. I'm sorry and I know you don't wanna hear it but just.... You're trying too hard! Relax and just write what you feel.

You have did a great job writing this story. love it i can't wait for the next installment

i hope it will be long. five stars as usually. beatuiful writing and i love how you bring

Bee and David passion alive.

but I have to agree, it seems as though you're trying to hard to sound lyrical and interesting and it's interrupting the flow of the story. It's clear you can write but sometimes simple is best.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Love this story. I love the way you express your passion it is through

your writing. Absolutly you deserve five stars and more. Thank you

very much for writing this story.

I absolutely love the way you write...I feel like I'm living the story along with the characters.

Love it, keep it coming!!

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!

Please i need the next chapter. love it

The lip biting followed by uncontrolled arousal, the security, the concerned friends, the tension in the elevator scene; the story was so "Fifty Shades" until she got aroused during Rosemary's baby. There's only one way you're going to stop getting these comments. You need to reveal Bee's past. Her character won't have depth until you do this. The revelation will bring significance to the seemingly general character traits she has displayed thus far. Forget you ever read that book because it is poisoning your good story for all of your readers who have read "Fifty Shades" as well.

No you are wrong anon. Believe me 50 shades of grey and this story should not even

be compared to each other. I have read a lot of books in my life time. Them same lines you are writing about in 50 shades of grey. Them same lines are in a lot of novels that i

I have read in th past. If you think these two story are so much a like why read

it. I love this story i can't wait for the next installment.

Hope theres an update soon! And BTW I seriously don't get that 50 Shades vibe! I never read anything like this story. I'm so interested to see where it goes!

How I wish I could find an English man like this are they all in America?!