All Comments on 'Best Ever, Can We Keep Doing It?'

The flow and grammar isn't the best, but it's got amazing possibilities. Slow down the intercourse scene a bit and flesh out the chacters, no need to rush.

I liked it so far, but I do hope there will be more!!!

perhaps that can be remedied in the next chapter. I thought it was a good start- but the end was not very good. A pretty good read, thank you.

The previous poster has a point. The story is good but needs a rewrite to add detail. As far as I'm concerned, while this is a good 1st draft, it's just that: A draft.

Very satisfying (;

If this story was actual sex, her thigh got sprayed before her tits got sucked. I liked the concept, enjoyed what was there, but was left wanting more. Add to it and it'll be great.

this is the middle of the story where is the begining and the end? this needs a total rewrite and more background and a better longer end. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND EITHER DO IT RIGHT OR NOT AT ALL NOW REWRITE IT.

simple, fun, and erotic. just the way i like stories