All Comments on 'Betrayal 09'

finally

Excellent! Will be waiting patiently for the next installment when ever that may be.

Love this story cant wait for more

and better! Thanks for sharing.

Wow, thank you for continuing the story. I can't believe it took Lit five days to post this. I hope that they are faster and that this was just a fluke.

Keep it coming please!!!!

Thank you for posting! I definitely see more development than the first time these chapters were posted and I see changes which are for the better I think because there is more character development which helps :) I am super excited to see what happens next :)

I like this story, but did I miss something? Who's Jenny?

please post the next chapter! so so good! im hooked! its my first read through. would totaly buy it if published!

While I've read hundreds of stories here.. this series is the first one I have bookmarked to a make sure I don't lose it. I'm disappointed when I don't see any update... which is everyday (or hour) between posts.. keep up the great work!

Keep it coming! It's just so good!

Keep writing I love this story and can't wait to see where it's going to go :-)

who is this Jenny?? anyone?

Good story, want more >.

Well from the contextual clues I would say that she is Mykal's mother and from the descriptive of the King, last few paragraphs I would say that that he has a family crest is a noble at the very lest and that there is some drama surrounding his family.

Great story, Great author, Cant wait for more

I think most of the readers will agree, we enjoy the suspense, but please keep the chapters coming.

Love the story, but.... More dammit more ... :p

great just like before get so jar into the story and then nothing for 6mos

I dont usually read this type of story but as i was reading the first page i got so interested in it i couldnt stop reading it then to get to the last page and find it isnt finished really irked me to no end. The story was excellent, one of the best ive read in a long time but please dont submit it without finishing it.

Incredible. A little tightening here and there and submit this to one of the sci fi mags. A most excellent short story, the lack of sex isn't even annoying. That said, how about some four an five page chapter and for god's sake, get Brigit laid. Oh, and at first there was mention of gong to Earth, later that changed. Fives all around

I am a big fan of sci-fi supernatural nonhuman type stories. this is one of the few stories that I have recently seen with very little sex scenes but the romance is building quite nicely without detriment to the story line. this can five star trek and star wars a serious run for it's money.

keep writing it in the same fashion. it doesn't need the sex as yet as it seems to be more adventure intrigue and slow romance. we have enough on the net if someone is looking for a stoke story. what really gets me is that you have really built up the plot to the point where it can for anywhere. whereas most writer write like they are writing an episode of law and order or something where in the space of an hour they go through the attack the finding the suspect the trial and the closure. I get the feeling that this story is going to be one of the longer novels and we are going to enjoy reading every word of it.

please keep on going and post as regularly as you can. one of the things I hate most is when you get a promising story and the writer just drops it. as has been said before writer to your hearts content here then maybe after it is all said and done see if there is a possibility of getting this story mainstreamed. even if it is here most people don't or won't know about it and just maybe you can take a shot at having it published. I can definitely see it happening.

in any event food luck keep the story going and take it easy on the sex scenes. don't get me wrong put them in if the situation calls for it and make it as steamy as you wish but don't put it in just to have it in there. you will know when and where the time is right.

good luck to you and please update soon!

Who's Jenny? This, other than wanting to know when the next chapter is coming out, is all I want to know.

I forgot to say I agree with Seeker

I have to agree completely with Seeker, you have done a wonderful job of building a solid story. There are some minor story line edits, that a professional editor might see better than I ever would, but I can not complain. I am a huge fan of Sci/Fi fantasy, LOVE outerworldly stories and have been reading them for years. I honestly believe that if you finish this that getting it published will not be a great difficulty for you. I am looking forward to this being a very long and complex story, as you have a number of arcs going at once. Please, do not tie these up neatly or quickly, as I have a hard time finding good authors to read on this site and would love to continue reading this story.

Although, if you do decide to complete this one, a pre-story on the King and Queen might not be a bad go! :D

Good luck in your writing, may the muses ( Erato, Melpomene, Polyhymnia and Thalia) strike you often and hard.

starting to get the feeling that you have quit writing since it has been 2 months since any updates

I read the original before you took that down because you didnt like how it was progressing down a certain way. Now you are at the same point before were you stopped except your a chapter or two behind. You could do anything with this story and I would be happy because your an excalent writer. The only way I would be sad or dissappionted is if you just stop writing because that happens to too many great writers here! So please keep up the good work on the stories.

Hang in there, Night, and thanks for the update on finishing this story. Definitely digging the storyline and am glad that this is nowhere nearing the end. Excellent pace, and as others have mentioned, readers looking for a quick fix can go elsewhere for relief. Hope things settle down enough (and soon!) for you to resume this story. And now for a little bit of selfishness on my part: Make the chapters longer, dammit!! ;-)

Thanks!

rewski84

Although I am just wondering, is this your, 'Betrayal', of us, your loyal fans?

Love your work.

Come on muse!

But please finish it. Please, please, please ApG

Sometimes great stories take time, even more when real life intrudes. So take all the time you need to kick out a great story! :)

Please tack an end on it even if it is just; "Jenny is the ruler of . . . & they all lived happily ever after even though Tobias ended up marrying the Carthanian." Lynn

Please finish this brilliant story

This is my favourite story on the site which I keep coming back to read and I'm hoping you will eventually finish it and I remember there was another chapter which you released before