All Comments on 'Betrayed'

by MistressMerry

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  • 10 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
What a sick piece of shit your HERO is

How about a 1/4 inch hole thru his ding dong with a 50 pound weight attached

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Revolting

VarianP just submitted a story, and what happens to the male protagonist in that story should happen to Mike and his sicko brother in this one. This isn't a dom/sub thing, it's just some sicko's hatred of women coming out in a story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
These people belong at a medicore bookstore

People all I can say is WAKE UP AND GET OUT! You want all the B and D, but when someone writes a story with elements of S and M you get on your soapbox wailing how bad it is. This is, and I remind you, a bdSM area and this is where this type of story belongs.

BOSTONFICTIONWRITERBOSTONFICTIONWRITERover 16 years ago
Evokes emotions

Wow, you pissed off a bunch of people off with this story.

Hey, what do I know? It must be good then (lol).

Any story that can evoke that kind of emotion from bashers and naysayers has my vote.

Good job.

Invisible2uInvisible2uover 16 years ago
Great Tale of Revenge!!

I already submitted an anonymous email to you but I'm commenting here anyway. The story was well written, very strong emotion portrayed in Michael's character. I enjoyed it and am anxious to see how he keeps his revenge going for the woman who cost him years of his life for nothing. This is certainly in the right category. Great Job!

Marines_Lady_15Marines_Lady_15over 16 years ago
Yes, it's harsh but...

it's under the right category, and if people don't like it then they don't need to read it. I thought it was great! It was well written, and pulled you in while you read.

I personally can't wait to read the next chapter. There will be another chapter right??

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 16 years ago
Wrong category

Should've been filed under Nonconsent/Reluctance because this is a story of abuse, not BDSM. The prose has some problems with grammar and syntax. Get an editor to help. The dialog is too stilted. Nobody talks like that except in bad porno flicks on Cinemax late at night.

<P>

As a work of fiction, kudos to the author because the story does have a plot, a central conflict through which the characters move toward a resolution. I didn't find the scenes particularly erotic since I'm not into abuse and humiliation but that doesn't detract from the literary aspect of the storytelling.

<P>

The characters were out of kilter. How Michael never mentioned his twin brother to his sub is rather too fantastic to be believable. And the whole supersecret house out in the country where nobody will observe them doing their nefarious deeds smacks of bad action movies. Sheesh, give me a real dominant in a credible relationship with his sub any time.

<P>

In the end, I have to rate the story as so-so. I thank you for your effort.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
This is BDSM M/s at it's finest

APPLAUSE!!!

I've been in this lifestyle since I was Legal. I have wanted to do this to a slave that ran on Me! (After having Her Mistress interrogated.) Fantastic work! Hoping for another chapter!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Too bad

He didn't die in jail. He certainly belonged there or in the cemetery.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Maybe they will get in a car wreck and die

That would be perfect. This was terrible. Even the cat in your Bio seems pissed.

Anonymous
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