Between a Rock & a Hard Place

"They've broken up; when did that happen?"

"About three and a half months ago," Camilla informed her friend. "She left him. I don't know why. I guess that she must've found someone better. All I know is: I remember coming home from work to find the living room and dining room empty of furniture. She even took the doors."

Laney giggled. "Yeah, I was about to ask you about that," Laney said to her as she stared at the doorway, which was shrouded with a bed sheet.

"Yeah, she even took the doors. Elias had replaced the doors for his bedroom and for the other rooms, except for my room. I guess it was his way of trying to make my living conditions unbearable enough for me to leave."

"Well, fuck that asshole," Laney growled. "And fuck your parents too! You and your baby don't need them! Me, Penny and the Super Dykes can be the family that you and my god-child needs." Camilla laughed a hearty giggle.

"Oh, so my child is your godchild?" Camilla inquired as an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, I am your son's or daughter's godmother. So, with that anointment, you and your baby will be a part of my family. And if you are worried about finding an appropriate father figure for your possible unborn son, I have a friend who can teach him all of the things that boys like to do. I've seen her interact with kids; she is a good person. Now, if you have a girl, I know plenty of queens who can teach little mama a thing or two about fashion."

"I'm having a baby girl," Camilla giggled.

"You're having a girl?" Laney said with excitement. She settled onto her knees.

"Yes. I found out two days ago at a doctor's appointment. I had an ultrasound and my OB-GYN had shown me the vagina. So, yes, I am having a girl."

"You're having a girl! Yay, you're having a girl!" Laney screamed in excitement and then she stood up and proceeded to jump up and down.

Camilla continued to lie on her sleeping bag and laugh at her friend. She thought her friend behaved like an expectant father who was super excited about his unborn child. Then, she thought that it should've been the reaction that Elias should've done, when he learnt about the baby. Instead, he treated her with resentment, as if she was the one who force him to impregnate her. She became overwhelmed with sadness.

Laney noticed the shift of mood in her friend. She stopped jumping and settled back down on the sleeping bag. "Cammy, please don't cry. Don't let those assholes take away your good mood."

"You're right," she murmured as she wiped away stray tears off of her cheeks. "You're right."

"But, I was telling you the truth: we will always be your family." Laney noticed Camilla's incessant scratching at her stomach. "What are you doing?"

"She's moving right now and it tickles," Camilla informed her.

"She's moving? It tickles? Can I touch your stomach?" Camilla nodded her head and Laney eagerly placed her hands on her stomach. Laney felt constant, rapid movement underneath her hands and she squealed in delight. "Oh...my...God...It feels...so..." she gasped. "How does it feels to have the baby move?"

"Well...there's times when it feels like it tickles sometimes, which is why I scratch at my stomach. Then, there's times when it feels like I am suffering from a bad case of gas, especially when she moves up towards my ribs. Then, there are the times when she makes a sudden movement and it feels like something runs across my stomach. It's unbelievable."

"It's definitely unbelievable," Laney muttered.

A silence erupted between them as Laney continued to feel her god-daughter's presence. Camilla watched her friend's facial expressions as her unborn daughter moved and kicked. It made her feel great. "Thank you, Laney," she said to her friend.

"You're welcome."

Silence fell upon them again as she continued to experienced one of the amazing things about the human life.

Laney stayed at Camilla's home for another two hours, before leaving. Now, Camilla was left alone in the home, which now felt like as comfortable as a prison. Before leaving the house, Laney, in light of her newly-discovered pregnancy, made Camilla promise her to not do anymore packing. Camilla promised while she had her right hand behind her back and had two fingers twisted around each other; the well-known sign of breaking a promise. She had plans of packing all of the appliances in the kitchen, before going to bed and she had no intentions of swapping those plans. So, now, Camilla was sitting on the kitchen floor, in front of the cupboards that built underneath the sink and she pulling out cooking utensils. A cardboard box was a few inches away from her. As she pulled out a large crock pot out of the cabinet, she felt a strong ripple in her belly and her right hand grabbed onto her stomach. She gently placed the pot down on the floor and sat back down. Her hands grabbed onto her swollen and extended belly.

"You've been moving a lot today, Baby Girl," Camilla said into her stomach. In response, her child shifted and this time a knot formed at the top of the curve of the belly. "Oh, you're stretching, huh, Baby Girl? I think you're moving a lot because of your God-Mommy had lavish you with a lot of attention..." While Camilla was speaking with her unborn child, she was unaware that Elias walked into the house. "...You know what, I need to think of a name for you. I can't keep calling you 'Baby Girl'. What should I call you? Should it be 'Mary' or how about 'Anastasia'?" There was movement. "Is that a 'yes' or a 'no'?" Before she could speak down to her stomach again, she received a fright, when Elias unexpectedly walked into the kitchen. She flinched and then protectively grabbed her stomach. The action did not go undetected by Elias.

"Evening," he greeted in his deep voice as he opened the fridge's door. It was the first thing that he said to her in months.

"Good evening," she muttered, before resuming with her packing.

With her back facing him, she listened to the sounds that his actions made, ever since she couldn't see him. In her opinion, it sounded like he pulled a bottle of beer out of the fridge and was drinking its contents. She now felt nervous with Elias in the same room with her. Seven months ago, being alone in the same room with him was a treat for Camilla. Now, she just wished that he could drink his beer somewhere else. It appeared that he was taking his sweet ole' time drinking it too. She quickly and carelessly filled the box with pots and pans. She was aware that she packed up the box in error and more likely will have to re-arrange everything, at a later time. But, at that moment, she wanted to get away from him. She lifted herself to her feet and stood upright.

"When will you be out?"

The question made Camilla flinch. His voice sounded callous, in her opinion. She felt her body about to react to his attitude, but then she remembered what Laney had told her about not allowing anybody to ruin her joyous time as a soon-to-be mother.

'Wow, he's making it obvious,' she thought, after settling her nerves.

Reluctantly, she glanced over her shoulder and glanced at him. Despite thinking of him as a colossal asshole, Camilla felt herself becoming aroused at the sight that was standing before her. She blamed her crazy hormones; one of the many changes that occurred to her body because of this pregnancy. Elias was leaning against the refrigerator with his bottle of beer contained in his right hand. In the brief glance, she taken in his tall, muscular frame in his gray long-sleeved Thermal shirt, black jeans and Timberland boots. His shoulder-length, brown hair was brushed back into a ponytail.

"The day after tomorrow, I'll be moving out," she informed him. With her left foot she pushed the box of pots across the floor and placed it into a corner. "All of my things should be out of here before five."

She had strolled; well she waddled, across the kitchen to the exit. She muttered a 'goodnight' before walking out.

Camilla was too sore and too tired to bother to stand in the tub while taking a shower, so she taken a bath. During her time of lounging in a bathtub full of hot water and lavender-scented bubbles, she heard Elias come up the stairs and then heard his footsteps travel down the hallway. He walked past the bathroom, past the four guest bedrooms, she heard him walk past her room and then she heard him make a stop at one point, before resuming towards his bedroom.

'I wonder what the hell that was about,' she thought as she lied in the tub.

By the time Camilla left the bathroom, she was so tired that she was sure that once her head touch the pillow, she was going to fall asleep. She made her way back to her bedroom, where she prepared to get ready for bed. It was during the process of rubbing lotion into the flesh of her arm, when she felt a strong amount of pressure in her bladder.

'Shit, not again,' she thought.

Ever since the fourth month of her pregnancy, she has been urinating frequently, which is another symptom. She slipped her black, silk kimono over her nude body and she had gone to use the restroom. When she returned to her room, her eyes taken in the tall and bulky figure that stood in the middle of her bedroom. His back was facing the door. He appeared to be taking a survey of the room; of all of the boxes, the sleeping bag that was on the floor and the lack of furniture.

"Don't worry," she started out saying. Elias turned around to face her. When his eyes set upon her face, a trembling exhalation floated out of her nose, she felt a shudder slide through her and her arousal return. "Don't worry, I didn't damage anything, so you don't have to keep my security deposit," was her snide remark, once she regained her composure. With small and insecure steps, Camilla walked into her bedroom, but made sure to keep her eyes on him, as if she was a wary cat.

"I wasn't worry about the security deposit," said Elias as he gazed at her, while she moved objects around the bedroom.

She could his eyes staring at her as she flitted around her bedroom. With her constant motion, she was starting to make him feel agitated. While she was storing clothes into a plastic storage bin, he walked up to her and gently grabbed onto her right shoulder. She automatically straightened and stared at him. Her almond-shaped eyes were wide and were flooded with fright.

"Calm down," he said to her, "you're floating around here like you're Tinkerbelle. You have to be careful, especially in your condition." He watched her brown eyes morph. They had gone from being fearful to being angry.

"My condition? You're worried about my condition? Why now? Why, after all of these months?" she asked him, with her anger radiating off of her body. "Why worried about me and my child now, after all, you told me to abort her, as if you were talking about me taking out the trash? Why are you--?"

Before she could finish her barrage of questions, her left wrist was snatched up in one of his hands. He led her out of the bedroom, into the hallway and he led her to the guest bedroom that was next to his bedroom. Along the way, Camilla struggled from her freedom. But his grip was too damn strong. The unoccupied bedroom's door was shut closed. With one hand holding onto her wrist, he used the other one to open the door slightly. He peeked halfway in the darkened room and turned on the light. "Elias, let me go," she grunted, as she stood next to him. She tried to pull her hand out of his.

"I want to show you something," he informed her. "Afterwards, you can leave. Okay?" Elias gazed down at her.

She stared at him. She noticed that his eyes lost the coldness to them, which was stored in them for the past six months. They were filled with the warmth that they used to hold. She stopped struggling. He had taken that as a sign that she was accepting his proposal.

"What is it that you want to show me?" she asked with a softer tone of voice.

She watched as he pushed the bedroom door open further. When her eyes taken in the room, she let out a loud gasp and her mouth formed a perfect 'o'. She taken small steps into the room and stood in the middle of the floor while she stared at everything. She gazed at the polished, hardwood floors. Her eyes drifted towards the floor, there was a white area rug that had yellow rubber ducks printed on it. She stared at the beautiful, white crib that was pushed against a wall and the pretty canopy that hovered above the crib. She glanced at the matching furniture: the chest of drawers, the changing table and a rocking chair with the matching ottoman. There was a bookcase that was filled with books and toys. She took note of the four, pale yellow walls with the white crown molding and the framed pictures that were mounted on them. The pictures were black and white photos. She was too far away to see what the pictures consists of, so she walked up to a wall that held three framed pictures. They were pictures displaying personal, private moments of her: a photo of her sleeping, a photo of her standing in front of the window in her bedroom, in which she was embracing her round stomach and then there was the third picture of Camilla standing in the kitchen, in the midst of dancing and eating an Eskimo pie. She remembered that moment; it had taken place on a Sunday afternoon, from almost two years ago.

'How in the hell did he manage to get any of these pictures?'

Camilla turned back around to face him. He was standing in the doorway and was leaning up against the post. She took a few steps towards him.

"How did you manage to...? I mean, why did... I..." She let out a sigh. "How?"

Elias smiled and then chuckled at her reaction.

"The work in here was mostly done while you were at work. I knew that it was going to be simple when it came to keeping it a surprise, ever since you're not the snooping type and all I had to do was keep the door closed. The room was finally finished two weeks ago and I was waiting for the right moment to spring the surprise on you. I think seeing your bedroom filled with boxes and watching you pack was enough motivation to spring the surprise on you."

"Why? I mean, why have you decided to do all of this? You told me that you didn't want me to have her and now—

"I was an asshole," was his answer.

"No shit," she shouted. Once she gained her composure, Camilla crossed her arms across her chest and stared at him. "I need a better answer than that."

Elias let out a huff of breath. He ran his fingers through his hair before answering her question. She could tell that what she asked of him was going to be a difficult task for Elias to complete. Camilla though he always seem like a man who doesn't express his emotions coherently. "I was..." he started out saying. His voice trailed off. Camilla stared at his face as he contemplated on his next choice of words. "...Afraid, I was afraid, Cammy."

"Of?" she asked as her hands touched her stomach.

His eyes left her own brown eyes and drifted down to her stomach. She noticed his eyes lit up for a brief moment. It was the same expression that Laney had in her eyes, when she felt the baby move for the first time. It was the expression of being amazed by someone you love. Strangely, a strong sense of sadness overwhelmed her. A low sigh floated from her mouth as a shudder slip from her body. A heavy lump wedged itself inside of her throat and she felt herself breathe slowly.

"I am going to be honest with you—

"I hope so—

With a steady gaze, he spoke to her. "I was afraid of losing Katerina. I was afraid that she was going to leave me, if she found out that you and I had sex. I loved her too much. You see..." Elias walked away from the doorway and walked into the nursery. He paced across the hardwood floor as he spoke.

"...Our relationship wasn't always great. We had a lot of 'down times' than our 'up times'. I'm not going to lie to you: I cheated on her... a lot and she was unfaithful as well. I know just because she cheated on me, doesn't give me any rights to cheat on her. I'm not making excuses for my actions. I loved her and I knew that I was hurting her by fucking different chicks, but I couldn't stop doing it. During those times, I didn't think about her. I was too busy thinking about me and my needs. About three years ago, she almost left me. She had her bags packed and was about to leave, when I stopped her. I begged her to give me a fifth chance..." Elias chuckled softly. "I promised her that I was going to change and I was going to do everything in my power to change and to prove to her that I was a changed man."

"You should've let her leave. She eventually did leave you and she took the furniture and every fucking door in the house with her! All you did Elias, by begging her to stay, all you did was prolong the misery." Camilla saw that he stopped pacing across the floor. He stood in front of the crib with his hands bracing the crib's guard rail. He gave her a glance over his right shoulder.

"Kat didn't leave me," Elias informed Camilla, in a rumble of his baritone voice. "I broke up with her."

"You broke up with her?" Camilla said to him, sounding as well as feeling skeptical.

"Yes, I broke up with her. She didn't take it too well. In regards to the furniture, I gave it to her, along with a year's worth of rent money. I doubt that she is going to use that money for an apartment, but I don't care. You can think of it as being an act of consolation from me, for being such a dick to her."

"So, why did you break up with her?" Camilla asked.

"Because I wasn't in love with her anymore. Shit, I didn't even like being around her anymore. And, also, it's because of your fault," he said to her.

"What?" she hissed while seething.

'Son of a bitch...'

"How is it my fault?" She glared at Elias as he turned around and faced her.

He strolled up to her and stood in front of her. There was a few inches of space in between them. By standing there, Elias made her forget that she was angry at him. For Camilla, he was so close yet so far away. He was close enough that she could smell the strong, citrus fragrance of his cologne and could feel the body heat that was radiating from him. However, he was so far away that she wanted to grab onto him and pull him close to her. Instead she kept her hands press against her stomach and she stared into his soft, innocuous-looking brown eyes.

Elias gazed down at her. "It's your fault because when you moved into this house, you made me realize that I can have someone better." Camilla gave him a look of confusion. He decided to give her a better explanation. "By the time you moved in here, my relationship was falling apart. Infidelity wasn't the major problem this time. I wasn't cheating on her and she wasn't cheating on me. This time, it was every little minor thing that was causing us problems: money problems, lack of sex, fighting over the littlest things and so on and so on. So by the time you moved in, the love was fading. My judgment was becoming a little less cloudy and I began to notice things about Kat. There were things that I didn't like about her. But, I also noticed some things about you."

'Things, what things?' her mind wondered. She was interested to know what he was talking about. "What things?" she inquired.

Elias could tell that she was now interested. The left corner of his mouth turned upwards to shape his lips into a smirk. "First thing I noticed was how beautiful you are."

Camilla blushed and then her conscience chided her for being flattered from his compliment.

"Then, there were other things like how smart you are, how you like to dance around the house when you think that no one is here, the times that you helped my mother when she was staying here, how hospitable you were towards my family when they were here for vacations, how you don't bitch even when you have the right to, the times when you would look out for my drunk ass and there are many other things."