All Comments on 'Black Journal Ch. 05a'

I've read 6 of these, from the beginning, hoping that an editor or some commentary or some divine intervention would come along and hopefully improve them.

I can't take anymore of the shitty grammar, choppy cropped off sentence fragments and words that must have come from auto correct because no one could intentionally be that obtuse.

Find an editor, and work on these stories. You DO have a decent theme going, it's just hard to get past, "I increased my speed unrealistically...."

I'm done.