Book 02: A Match Made Ch. 02

"Please don't leave me, lover. Don't let this... this thing, be the end of us." You laughed; a cold, dead laugh. Just that quickly it left me. My eyes fluttered open in the next instant. My body trembled as the last of the orgasm screamed through me. I was confused, somewhat satisfied, and desperately unhappy.

I blinked. I felt my heart slow. I wondered just how much was real and how much was imagined. The familiar flush was all too real as was my heart rate. If asked I would have sworn that I heard your words, felt your touch, and all the rest. How? How much does our conscience -- or is it our subconscious -- control? Kara? Becky?? Bette?? Bette!!!!

I sat up, shaking. What would possess me to say that name? Good god!! I looked at the clock -- 12:45 am. Geez, it can't have been more than an hour. I shook my head. Why on earth did all that feel so real? Was my body trying to tell me something? God forbid -- was my conscience? Becky is super cute. No, I don't know much about her yet. She's pretty, funny... sigh. She's not Bette. What the fuck! I meant to say she's not Kara. How did that bitch worm her way in here? Worm -- that's such a perfect definition, too. I sighed, shook my head, and closed my eyes.

** November 24th **

Lissy

The week was generally quiet. I would like to report that I had gone to work out every day since last Sunday. Once I had left work, the train would get me from downtown to my station in less than 30 minutes. Next was a 15 minute drive to the club. A workout took about an hour. I'd get home, shower, have dinner and be able to relax by around 7:30.

Why do I bring all that detail up now? 7:30 meant I could read for a couple of hours, or watch TV on Tuesdays, before heading to bed. That may not seem like a big deal to you. The damn house was empty; except for the -- oh you know.

I wrote long emails to Kara that I never sent. Okay; honest hour requires that I tell you I saved them on my computer.

Sunday dinner had been couple hours of joyous relief. June received word about an offer of full time employment that would begin just after the start of the year.

"It seems stupid Mom, but December 30th and 31st are a Monday and Tuesday. They'll start me on January 6th, even though I'll have been working since the 30th." It made absolutely no sense to me either.

"I don't understand, June. Are you going to intern on the 30th and 31st and get paid for... Thursday and Friday?" I had to turn and look at the calendar."

"Yes, that's the plan apparently." She shrugged. "I guess they don't want me on the payroll for 2013." Whatever.

They asked if I wanted help cooking.

"We'll come home after work Wednesday and spend the night if that's okay." I smiled.

"Of course it is. We'll figure out something to do."

"Strip poker?" We all laughed at June's silly suggestion. Warning lights went off in my head. She was enough of a scamp that I wouldn't put it past her to do something silly.

"We can go shopping Friday!" Rachel looked at me expectantly. "It'll be great, Mom. I'll be with you when you buy me all my Christmas presents." I'm pretty sure I paled. June laughed.

"Baby, I think you just aged your Mom by a few years."

"Oh don't be silly. You'll be with us; she can buy your Christmas presents too." I'm so not doing this.

They both looked at me expectantly. I looked from one to the other.

"Okay." My blondie jumped on my lap after the few steps from the couch to the wing chair; she kissed the stuffins outta me. I know -- it's squeezed the stuffins outta me. She did that too. "Maybe you can give me some ideas for your brother and sister." She snorted.

"Lumps of coal." June laughed. "Oh wait -- I get to help pick out stuff for the babies. Oh, this will be so much fun!!"

She jumped up off my lap and dove on to her honey's. They kissed. Then my kid lay on her back, her head in her honey's lap. I swallowed the boulder in my throat. Know why? No, it wasn't so much for Kara. It was my little girl. I have no doubt they act like this just about every day. I'd seen them do it when they were here. And there weren't all that many times they'd done it since... August. Yeah, it was all about Kara. I'm sure you're not surprised.

"Did you and Becky come up with a date for your date yet?" I giggled; it was cute.

"You two told me you have to work Saturday and Sunday after the holiday so we decided to have dinner on Saturday."

"Good for you." Yeah, it's just fabulous. "What, Mom; why the long face?" My kid looked at her kid. "It's Kara isn't it?" I think all three of us shook our heads. Rach sat up; June held her hand. "It's not fair; not fair to you and not fair to Becky." I know, honey. "She's nice; she called you again after that first coffee thing. I... why... no... if you can't bring yourself to call Kara, whatever the reason, why won't you at least make an attempt to see if Becky could be someone you might like... um... to... whatever." I smiled, knowing why my kid hesitated.

"She was part of my life for so long it feels like I'm missing a limb." I shrugged. I have to tell someone. "It's so much more than the sex -- but god almighty I miss that!" I saw June look at my kid who, to her credit, didn't even blink.

"What's holding you back; why won't you call?" I felt my neck tighten.

"She hasn't either ya know." They both nodded.

"Yeah, Mom," June said. "We do know. Other than fear and... I don't know -- shame... do you have any idea why?"

I sat and thought. The computer whirred. The usual suspects were churned and spit out. I shook my head in frustration. "You'd think that, with all the time we spent together, as joined at... oh god." I stopped and took a breath. "The problem is I think I know. But after three months of wondering why she hasn't called, I have no idea what's going on in that blonde head of hers. It worries me and it makes me sad -- very sad. It's very depressing."

** November 29th **

Lissy

Thanksgiving was loads of fun. Wednesday night was pretty quiet. The girls were dragging after a busy and late work night and begged off coming to the house. I quickly agreed. They showed up full of energy not long after noon. God love youthful energy. Each of them sported shiny eyes and I couldn't help but wonder. I know you know what I mean.

By request, dinner was ham, yellow turnip, and wild rice. The last two were something of a family tradition passed down from my Mom's family. The damn turnips are a pain in the ass to cut but so worth it. JR had asked me to save some of both. He called early Friday morning to ask when he could pick up his leftovers.

"I'm going shopping with Rach and June. I have no clue when we'll be home."

"Could you leave the door to the house from the garage open?" Are you nuts!

"No, honey, especially today. There aren't that many who are working, which means there won't be very many home, today being Black Friday and all. I don't want to leave the house that unattended." He sighed.

"Okay. When are they going home?" I giggled.

"Your sister and June have to work tomorrow. Call me when you have time. I'll do what I can to give you your bounty IF it fits around my workout schedule."

"The brat told me you've been doing more of that lately. Good for you. I like my Mom bein... um, never mind."

I giggled. I'd have paid good money to see my son blush as he nearly said his mother was a MILF!!

The three of us had a gigantic blast shopping. Old Orchard has too many stores to catalogue -- even for this tale of mine. Let the record show -- I spent way too much and was happy to do so. It's not like I have money to burn. But I have enough of a cushion that the excess wasn't going to cut into my lifestyle. Especially my current lifestyle -- you know, the one that doesn't include... her.

I vowed Friday night, after the kids had gone back to the city and I was in bed, that I would have a good time with Becky Saturday night. And I meant it. I fell asleep with my cell phone in my hand between my legs. I'm such a mess!

Oh yeah, I did remember to give the girls pictures of Kara and asked that they get to Shade - as she had requested.

** November 30th **

Lissy

Becky looked absolutely beautiful Saturday. Her hair was a little longer than it had been last time, but since it was late November that made a little sense. She'd combed it out and let it fall easily a bit past her shoulders. I liked it.

The restaurant was great and a pain in the ass. We... no... Becky had made a reservation. We were seated nearly a half hour after we were supposed to be. I wasn't happy. I know -- I need to work on that.

Dinner was dinner. We split the Bang Bang shrimp and Singapore Calamari. We did the same with dinner. Becky chose the boneless pork chop. I ordered the rainbow trout. Each of us had a side -- herbed jasmine rice for her; steamed veggie medley for me.

We giggled about how much was left over and who would take what where.

I'm easy. She could have whatever she wanted of leftovers... if!

The evening was fabulous. It was dark and damn cold when we left and headed to the parking lot.

"Would it be okay if I kissed you, Lissy?" She didn't need to ask; it had been on my mind most of the night. I smiled.

"I'd like that a lot!"

She bent and kissed me. Her arms went around my shoulders -- she was so much taller than I was it probably felt awkward to put her hands on my waist.

My god she kisses good! Really, really good!! Melt in your mouth good!! Lost in her kiss good -- just like Kara.

Holy crap; talk about your buzz kill!! That name, when kissing another woman, is exactly that!!

She must have felt it too cuz she pulled away. I felt terrible.

"I'm so sorry, Becky. She still has a hold on me." I hadn't opened my eyes yet; I didn't want to see what was in hers.

She nodded. "Lissy, there was risk in calling you and meeting you. I knew you were getting over someone, so let's put that off to the side for a moment." Put HER off to the side? No, stop, she's right.

I smiled and said, "I had a second there when I was angry. But there's no getting around it. You're right, I am getting over Kara." I shivered. "It's too damn cold. Let's sit in my car with the heater on and talk for a bit."

We did. Becky offered to go first. She wanted to finish her thought.

"There were risks. You getting over Kara is one. The other is that I'd be interested in you and you wouldn't want or be able to reciprocate." She looked out the window before continuing. "You're in much better spirits tonight than you were last month." She smiled beautifully. "I know... no, I don't know. I'm going to guess you have a ways to go until you get over Kara. She was right and I told her so.

"That's true. I don't have a clue. Nor do I know what I'd do if she showed up on my doorstep tomorrow. It's miserable."

"To be completely honest, I thought long and hard about calling you again. But it was so god awful that I knew it couldn't be that bad again." I had to laugh.

"I'm going to take a wild stab here and ask if that means you enjoyed tonight." It was Becky's turn to laugh.

"Yeah I did, Lissy. In fact, I'd like to try that kiss again." She did. It was more than the quick brush the first time. Soft lips pressed to mine. I parted mine this time and it was good; very good.

"That was nice." I took a deep breath. "I guess you'll have some major time off over Christmas." She nodded. "I don't want to make promises I don't think I can keep. I'd like to see you again. Can we wait a couple of weeks, see how things shake out. Maybe talk on the phone." I was torn. It's totally not fair to keep Becky in suspense but we're both honest about what's going on.

"Yeah, that sounds perfect. Listen, I've got a long drive home and it's getting late. I'd better be going." She was just about to get out of the car when she stopped and turned around. Her head was down as if she was thinking.

She looked at me and said, "I wasn't far into my teens when I came out to my parents." Even in the somewhat dim light of the parking lot I could see pain on her pretty face. "My Mom came from money; big, old money. She told my grandpa. After dinner that Christmas he pulled me aside. He told me, 'Becky, all of my grandkids are going to get a slice of the pie. But I can not, in conscience, give money to someone who goes against what my wife and I hold sacred. If you continue in this wicked, immoral lifestyle I'll have no choice but to cut you off -- disinherit you.'" She looked at me.

"Trust me, Lissy. What I know now is that what he would have given me would have meant I might not have worked a day in my life. Whether that's good or bad isn't the point. The point is -- why would I trade me for money? I do okay as a high school coach and teacher. Not great. But I have my dignity. I didn't sell my soul, or myself, for a buck. I didn't -- even for several million of them." There was a fierce look of pride in her blue eyes. And I liked what I saw.

I kissed her. I hadn't kissed a woman like I kissed her since Kara. I liked it -- the kiss.

"I like that you did what you did, Becky. I admire your courage and your principles. This has been wonderful; thank you very much. I think it's best for both of us that I head home too." I smiled and kissed her again. Oh gawd!

** December 12th **

Lissy

My cell phone rang as I was having lunch. I paled when I saw the call was from Shade.

"Is she okay, Shade?" Silence. Oh god!

In her usual quiet voice she said, "Hello, Lissy. I can understand your question. I think I can answer your question with a qualified yes." I started to interrupt. "Before you interrupt, may I tell you why I'm calling?" I shook my head and sighed.

"Yes, please do."

"I'm sorry, Lissy. I'm not trying to be difficult. I'm calling to ask you to dinner. I'm not comfortable detailing what I've learned on the phone."

"Tonight is fine. I don't have any plans and I'd cancel them if I did."

"I suspected as much. I took that into account before I called. I had Destiny reschedule an appointment for tonight. I don't want to make this appear too urgent."

"Shade, please. Anything to do with Kara is urgent in my mind. Just tell me where and when. I'm sorry. Please."

"Your urgency is understandable. You didn't drive today did you?" How the hell did she know that?

"Uh, no, I didn't. I had planned to go... never mind."

"Yes, you've been a regular at your health club for almost a month now. If I'm correct, you go straight from work when you drive. But it's just as easy to take the train." My head was spinning. Has she been following me? No, she owns a business. What on earth.

"Please don't concern yourself with how I know your routine. That's part of why I'd like to meet for dinner. There's a restaurant on Halsted Street that I'd like you to come to." She gave me the name and address. "There's a private room that is used for small gatherings. If you ask for the hostess, Connie, she'll take you to it. Destiny and I dine there often."

When I didn't say anything she continued.

"I'm looking forward to seeing you again, Lissy," she said. "Though I wish the circumstances for it were different. Destiny sends her best regards."

My head was spinning. I had to believe she would have told me if something was really wrong, but I couldn't be sure.

"Did you give me a time, Shade? I've been trying not to eat the phone with frustration and worry." She laughed.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I did, Lissy. Is 6pm too early for you?" I shook my head.

"Not at all. I'll see you at 6 sharp. Thanks for calling. Say hi to your... to Destiny for me."

As you can probably imagine, the rest of the day was a waste of time as far as work goes. I took a cab from work to the address Shade gave me.

She had given me a very general description of Connie: pretty, average height, long dark hair, and green eyes. I saw her looking at me; Shade must have given her an idea of what I look like. Pretty was an understatement. A radiant smile reached her eyes as I approached.

"You must be Lissy," she said as we shook hands. "Shade gave me an idea of what you look like. She didn't mention how lovely you are." I mumbled some sort of thanks. "Please follow me."

She led me through the restaurant, through a door, and down a short corridor. A quick knock on a door, then we entered. Shade was rising from her chair at the single table in a rather small room.

"Thank you, Connie," was followed a quick kiss on the lips. Interesting. "Would you care for a cocktail, Lissy?"

"I normally drink wine, but I'd think I'd like something with vodka in it." I looked at Connie. "How about you surprise me?" Surprise flashed in her eyes followed by a slow smile. Is she flirting with me? We've just met.

"Thank you, Connie. That will be all for now."

"May I bring your salads with Lissy's drink, Shade?"

"That would be fine."

Connie nodded and left.

"She's a bit of a flirt, Lissy. I hope you didn't take offense." I smiled.

"You severely undersold how lovely she is." I needed to change the subject.

"Was I correct in assuming you're tailing me or having me tailed?"

Small hands smoothed an imaginary wrinkle on the gleaming white tablecloth.

Shade's voice was quiet and matter of fact as she said, "Yes. It's not all the time. I don't believe that Kara would do you any harm." I lowered my eyes, not believing what I was hearing.

"Lissy?" I looked up again. "It's more about keeping track of Kara than it is you." I nodded.

"Is she okay? You still haven't answered my question from earlier?"

As I spoke, there was a knock on the door. Connie entered with a small tray. Her eyes were flat as she put my drink in front of me, retrieved two small plates and put them in front of each of us.

"Your drink is called a Firefly. It's vodka, grenadine and grapefruit juice. I hope you like it." She looked at Shade.

"If you'd give us at least 20 minutes, Connie, that should be more than enough." Connie smiled, turned, and left again.

"I hope you don't mind. I ordered dinner for both of us. We know the staff quite well, including which of their dishes are better than others." I couldn't care less. I wanted to know about my... know about Kara.

I took a sip of my drink. Damn! This is good!

Shade seemed to sense I wanted to continue.

"It seems she's fine. She's still living with her friends Barb and Carole. She goes to work every day, though sometimes she does go in late. I haven't been told that it's caused any problems with her superiors."

I was getting antsy.

"You still haven't told me why you called me and what you thought was so urgent that couldn't be shared on the phone."

I needed to relax. I took a couple bites of my salad.

"Did you have occasion to run into Bette around Halloween?" My jaw dropped.

What have I gotten myself into with this woman? What on earth is she doing tracking me? Tracking Kara? And why?

"As a matter of fact, yes. I wasn't very happy when she suddenly appeared at my table." A thunderclap burst in my thick skull. I felt myself shiver. I looked; Shade sat, watching me impassively. "Kara? Are you telling me Kara was there and... oh my god no! Kara... she might think that I was... Bette! Is that what you're trying to tell me, Shade?"

All I got in response was a slight up and down motion of her head.

"No, that's not good enough. There has to be more, Shade," I said. I could feel a bubble of uneasiness growing in my stomach. "I have to know. Is she in trouble? What's going on, dammit? You asked me to meet you for dinner." I felt myself about to tip into hysterics.

Hey genius, chill. She asked you here. How about you let her talk!

Someone remind me to put in a request for a new conscience ASAP.