Book 02: A Match Made Ch. 02

We're stuck with each other, you jerk. Do what I told you. Believe it or not, I have your best interest at heart.

I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, Shade. It's been far too long since we've gone our separate ways, but Kara is still very important to me. I need to listen to whatever it is you have to tell me."

"I understand," she said in a quiet voice. "It seems that Kara's behavior has grown more erratic since then. That includes her work. There are more unexcused absences, coming in late. People she worked with -- specifically, her superiors, have noticed her shoddy appearance and work." Worked with?

"Shade, you said worked with. Does she still have a job?" My blood ran cold when she simply looked at me.

"When?"

"Her employment was terminated as of the end of November. Just before Thanksgiving to be specific." She smiled; a gesture, I thought, designed to comfort me. "She's eligible for COBRA health insurance but she does have to pay for it."

I couldn't let myself go there yet. There was too much more I had to uncover; get explanations to -- for.

A knock at the door came, followed by Connie, who brought a rolling cart. Not a word was spoken as she cleared our barely eaten salad dishes and replaced them with our entrees. She uncorked a bottle of red wine, poured me a glass, and put the bottle back on the cart.

"Will there be anything else, Shade?"

Turning to me, Shade asked, "Would you prefer that Connie leave the bottle?" I nodded.

"I don't know how much I'll have but yes. That would be fine, thank you."

Connie's eyes had never left mine. Shade seemed to know that this lovely temptress was a flirt. And there was no doubt that Connie deferred completely to her. In fact, Shade told me Connie was the hostess at this place. It struck me as odd that she would be our server; that couldn't be part of her regular duties. Interesting, but I had bigger fish to fry.

After the door closed, I said, "Shade, you've given me some hints and a few facts. But it feels like you're keeping things from me. Part of me thinks you want to see how I react to what you're telling me. Part of me thinks you're hesitant to tell me all that you know. More importantly, I have a feeling that you have thoughts about things that haven't happened yet."

The smile was thin as she replied, "Very good, Lissy. Let me deal with the last of what you said first." Neither of us had touched our food. "I believe that Kara's stalking has changed. It's likely that she had been following you just to keep eyes on you. Since Halloween, I believe she's tracking you to find Bette."

I had mixed emotions about what I'd heard. I know I smiled. It didn't surprise me in the least that Kara would look for Bette if she thought she saw us on what she must have thought was a date. And it scared me half to death. I didn't know what to make of it. Had Kara gone so far off the ranch she would contemplate doing some sort of harm to Bette. And what kind of resources did Kara have -- financially and otherwise? I better just listen. Shade continued.

"If Kara knows that she doesn't have a job anymore she may increase her efforts to track Bette." She cocked her head and said, "Did you know Bette has closed her practice? Do you know anything about that?" I couldn't hide my smile.

"Let's just say that I hinted at a couple of things, Shade. But let's get back to your comment about Kara. I saw Bette at the end of October. You said she... Kara... lost her job at the end of November. I know nothing about Bette and her practice, nor do I care. She's not fit to be a counselor to anyone!" Shade nodded.

"I thought that might be your response. It's not clear whether Bette closing her practice was a direct result of..." She hesitated. "A direct result of something you said or might have said. In any event, we think... it seems likely that Kara is having a harder time tracking her than she did before." Dark brown eyes kept a level gaze on me.

"Kara knows where you live, Lissy."

"Well of course she does. She's been there hundreds of times since our relationship began to get serious."

"Have you noticed anything unusual with or about your house?" I tried, frantically, to search through my memory bank.

I shook my head. "I can't think of anything. If she was there, I'm positive I would know. Her scent -- shampoo and the like." I thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, I got the oddest feeling a couple of Sundays ago. I came in the house and was immediately struck at how strong her presence felt. I'm positive she had been there the day before. It's not likely she was there when I was -- it was so strong I went from room to room, checking to see if in fact she was there."

Just as I finished speaking my phone rang. Of all the things -- it was Barb. Barb, who I need to talk to like I need a hole in my head. Well, except she is my only link to Kara.

"Hi Barb. I'm out to dinner with a friend. What's up?"

"Hi Lissy, I'll be brief then. Kara hasn't been here much since the beginning of December." Concerned, I glanced at Shade. "Carole's not very torn up about it but I'm worried. I stopped by the condo a couple times last weekend but no one answered." She paused before adding, "I considered that she might be with you. Are you having dinner with her?"

I needed a deep breath before saying, "No, I'm not." I squirmed in my chair. "I still haven't seen nor heard from her." I need to get off the phone and talk to Shade. "Barb, I need to go. Would you and Carole mind if I call a little later tonight if I need to?"

While I was talking to Barb, Shade had one eye on me and had also started to eat some of her dinner.

"Of course not. Carole's not heartless. It got tiresome to have Kara lying around essentially doing nothing other than going to work. Oh, that's the other thing I wanted to tell you. She hasn't been answering her cell phone either." Fuck!

"Barb, let me say goodbye. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you calling. I'm going to try to find out more about all this. I'll call if I have any questions." The call ended. I took a sip of wine -- a big one.

"How bad is it, Lissy?" I twirled the glass on the table and shook my head. What are you doing, blondie? What's going on in that head of yours? I felt tears coming and made no effort to stop them.

"Maybe you'd like to spend the night at the condo..." I snapped my head around. "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant at my condo. Spend the night with Destiny and me." I took another sip of wine and poured another glass.

"Barb Romano was a love interest and is a friend of Kara's. That was where she'd been staying." I shook my head. "I probably told you that already." Shade smiled. "Barb is concerned. Kara hasn't been around since the beginning of the month. That's not all. She went to Kara's condo last weekend and no one was there." Shade's mouth became a thin line. "She also mentioned that Kara hasn't been answering her cell phone."

It dawned on me that I'd better start on my food. My tummy was telling me I should and there was the little matter of the wine I'd been drinking.

Her voice soft, Shade said, "The Beef Wellington is very good here." Divine is more like it. I have to resist the urge to wolf it down.

The next few minutes were filled with a heavy silence as we each took small bites of our dinner. My mind was reeling with what I'd heard so far. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in Shade's mind. I shook my head and tried to hold back the tears that kept threatening to burst through the levee.

I saw Shade's hand move in my peripheral vision and felt it cover mine.

"You're worried, aren't you?" I nodded. The levee broke. I felt myself being tugged ever so gently and let my head lay on a tiny shoulder as I cried.

"We'll bring her home safely, Lissy. I don't have everything I need yet but I think I'm pretty close. I'm still marshaling resources; not all of my chips have been played. Alexis is not held in high regard in the circles she's on the fringes of. I've put the word out -- all of her contacts will be on the alert for any sort of news of any kind." Her soft voice was soothing as she said, "We'll find her and we'll bring her home." A pause, and she added, "It's not fun to add but I have to. If that's what you want."

I lifted from her shoulder, looked at her and said, "Yeah, I do." I smiled. "The weekend when it all fell apart for us, Kara asked me if I was serious about getting married." I shrugged. "There's a lot of work that needs to be done to rebuild trust. It won't be easy but she sure in the hell is worth it." I managed what I hoped what a passable smile.

Shade returned it and said, "If you're hungry we can continue to eat this delicious meal. If you're not I'll get you home."

"It's delicious, Shade, and my body is telling me it's hungry. I have to admit I don't have much of an appetite tonight." I sighed. "And I'm in no big hurry to get home to that damn empty house." I shook my head as I picked up my fork. "I never dreamed in August I'd be facing the holidays without Kara by my side. Never." I washed down a couple bites of food with wine. I reached for the bottle and poured what was left in my glass.

After knocking, Connie came in. "Shade, there's a call for you." Shade smiled at me, got up, and headed out the door. "Lissy, how are the two of you doing with dinner? Is everything all right?" God she's cute!

"Yes, Connie, it's beyond all right; it's wonderful. I'm sorry. Shade and I were pretty busy talking and I'm afraid neither of us have been doing this meal justice. Your wine selection was perfect, by the way." She smiled oh so beautifully.

"It's a very nice Pinot Noir from Willamette Valley in Oregon. It's reasonably priced and one of our most requested wines." It's awful of me to think this, especially after the way I carried on about Kara a moment ago. This woman could read the minutes of a school board meeting and I'd never hear anything but the melody of her voice.

As Connie opened the door to leave Shade was reaching for the door knob. She held the door for Shade, who smiled and came back to the table. There wasn't anything on her face that gave me a hint what the call might have been about.

She attacked her dinner and I followed suit.

"What plans for Christmas do you and your family have, Lissy?"

"My oldest and her husband live in Minnesota. It's their first Christmas in their new home. They'll stay there. They've asked me to come the weekend between Christmas and New Years and stay through the first. Rachel and June, her girlfriend, will be joined by JR, my son, his wife, and their not quite one year old son on Christmas. What about you?"

Shade smiled. "Our office Christmas party is this Saturday. It's going to be in this very room in fact."

"Oh really?" I couldn't resist a tease. "Is that why we have this fabulous bottle of wine tonight? Oh my god, Shade. I'm such a boor. I didn't save any for another glass for you." She waved me off as I continued. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's obvious you enjoy wine, Lissy. I'm glad you finished it if you're enjoying it that much. Anyway, this party has become a nice tradition for my business. We draw names and exchange grab bag presents. Dinner is always very good and there's dancing afterward. We encourage all the women to bring their spouse or significant other."

"It sounds like a great night with your staff." I looked down at my half eaten dinner. "I'm not sure how merry I'm going to be this Christmas." After a half hearted attempt at a smile, I said, "Are you ready to go?" She smiled.

We hadn't had a significant snowfall for a couple of weeks so the roads were dry and the drive home went quickly.

"Do you like it out here, Lissy?"

We'd been talking off and on during the drive but had hit a lull. Shade's question roused me from my thoughts.

I nodded. "We -- Dylan and I, bought the house when I was pregnant with Rachel. I didn't want to burden Jenna with having a much younger sister share a bedroom. Some people may think I was being overly protective, but it just felt like the right thing to do for both of them." I looked out the window and continued. "I had actually put the house on the market when Kara and I agreed to live together." I sighed. "We were going to look for a place in the city -- maybe downtown. Those plans have changed, obviously."

"Do you let yourself think about how you'll patch things up with her?" Only every second I'm awake every damn day.

"Yes," I said softly. "There are so many things to take into consideration. And there's Kara's side of things as well. Being apart from each other for so long probably increases the odds we won't be able to put things back the way they were." I cleared my throat to get rid of the boulder and said, "There's also the small matter of whether 'the way we were' was a good place to be; the right place." I shook my head.

"It's miserable, Shade. Not only have I been a wreck but I've gone back through things and asked myself what was real and what was fantasy."

"I would hardly think you're alone on that count."

"You're probably right. There was so much about us that was so unbelievably good. Everything seemed to be going so well. I mentioned that Kara had brought up the subject of marriage."

"Yes you did. It sounds like both of you were on a very good relationship path. I feel very badly for you that things fell apart so quickly and catastrophically."

"Wanna hear something really silly? I wish sometimes that she'd never even brought up all the stuff she did." I laughed; a harsh, sharp sound devoid of any humor or joy. "I have to remind myself that it was the best thing for both of us that she did. I mean, what if she had waited. And for how long? Six months? Five years? It wasn't pretty but I actually had to admit to myself that it was best thing for the relationship, not to mention my life, that she told me what she did when she did. Even if the aftermath was god awful."

I gave Shade the instructions to navigate from the main road to the house.

As she drove down side streets, Shade asked, "Is there more that you want to say about that?"

"Yeah, I guess so. You get to play the role of my shrink tonight, Shade. It's good to talk to someone about this. It's the third driveway on the right by the way."

She pulled the car into the driveway and stopped. I was surprised to see lights on in both the first floor and my bedroom.

"That's odd. I don't remember leaving lights on this morning." I turned to Shade and said, "If we're going to continue talking you might as well come in with me."

"You said something about lights being on. Is that normal?"

I got out of the car; Shade followed. I answered as we walked to the door.

"It's highly unlikely it was Kara; I don't see her car anywhere. It's possible Rach and June are here. I'll know as soon as we get inside." I opened the front door.

There was no indication anyone was home. Nothing looked out of place and there was no immediate sight that anyone had been here.

"Is there a bathroom on the first floor, Lissy?"

"Yes, it's in the great room. I pointed her in the right direction. "Why don't you give me your coat, Shade? I'll hang it up and go powder my nose as well."

I did her coat and mine, stopped briefly in the kitchen to see if anything was amiss, and headed upstairs. I didn't get any tingles tipping me that someone was here or had been here. The bedside lamp was on which was a bit odd. It could be switched on and off inside the door and at the bed. The ceiling fan had lights but there were four of them and I didn't usually need that much wattage. Oh well.

I did what I had to in the bathroom and headed back downstairs after washing my hands.

I stopped on the stairs. Something's not right. I turned and looked. Why is Rachel's bedroom door closed? Once I was at the top of the stairs I opened the bedroom door, listened, turned on the light, scanned the room, turned off the light and went back downstairs.

Shade was sitting on the couch. She smiled warmly at me.

"I'm going to have a glass of wine. Would you care for something to drink?"

"Juice if you have it, Lissy. A glass of wine sounds nice but not when I have to get back to the city."

"Hey, did you call Destiny and tell her you were driving me home?" She smiled.

"The call at the restaurant was from her so yes, that's covered. I really like your home, Lissy. It's cozy and warm, a comforting place to raise a family." There isn't a woman in the world who wouldn't smile at a comment like that!

"Thanks very much, Shade. I'm happy you like it."

"Was anything amiss upstairs? It's not my home but I didn't see anything that looked odd while I waited for you."

"Rachel's bedroom door was closed, but I checked. There wasn't anything unusual."

"What about your home's alarm system?" I paled. I hadn't heard the beeps when we came in.

"It's off. I didn't turn it off either." I got up and checked the door leading to the garage, which was locked. I poured that glass of wine and orange juice for Shade. I handed it to her and sat back down.

"If it was Kara, it appears she's gone." I took a sip of my chardonnay to help push away the emotion I felt.

"You wish she had been here don't you?"

I bolted from the couch. I leaned my head on the front door, out of hearing range, trembling with emotion.

"Why, Kara?" I said in a whisper. "We had such a good thing going. How could you listen to someone who hurt you so badly? Why would you do anything she asked you to do? I know you love me, blondie, but that wasn't what I wanted. And it certainly wasn't the way I would have wanted anyway." I banged my head softly on the door and said, "Please come home, lover. Please! I don't want to spend Christmas alone. God, please bring my Kara home!"

I wiped my eyes and headed back. Shade hadn't moved. She watched as I sat on the couch and reached for my glass.

"I'm sorry. I was overwhelmed and needed to be alone for a bit." After a sip I said, "It's been 3 and half months and it feels like 3 decades. I was married for over 30 years and I didn't hurt like this when my husband died. The love had been gone from our relationship for some time before the accident. I met Kara when Dylan was alive." I shrugged. "Our time together then was nothing like it is... now." Saying the word 'is' took my breath away with the hurt.

"I'm jealous of what you and Kara have, Lissy. Destiny and I are very much in love; we've talked about getting married too. Maybe it's the pain you're in, but the passion in your voice is very moving."

"We were talking in the car about why it would be hard for us to get back together. It's true, but I'll do just about anything to rebuild our relationship, rebuild the trust needed between us." All of a sudden I was bone tired. "Shade, I have to apologize, but all of a sudden I'm completely out of gas. I very much appreciate the dinner invitation, the news you shared with me, and the ride home." We both stood.

"Here, let me take your glass." I put both glasses on the kitchen counter and came back. I led Shade to the hall closet and helped her into her coat.

"I won't have any trouble getting home, Lissy. I know how to get back to the expressway and I'm good from there."

"You'll let me know if and when you get any more information about where she is and what's going on?"

"Yes of course. And I'll call if I have other questions, too."

"Please thank Destiny for letting me borrow her honey for a night, Shade. I appreciate being able to unburden myself with someone. I can't very easily share this with my kids."

"Bette's a bad egg, Lissy. I recommend you find someone new. You don't know what's going on with Kara either. She may need someone's help." I nodded.