Breakdown Cover Ch. 02

But when we'd arrived home, it transpired that we'd been out just over an hour. And then with it still being early, James picked up the phone, and asked, “What's the number for Mary?”

“Mary?”

“Yes. The farm where the kids are staying.”

“Why? What d'you want to ring them for?”

“To talk to the kids. Make sure they're ok.”

I didn't want to tell him, in fact I almost said I didn't know; but I realised that would be silly. So I gave him the number, and he rang. It was painful to listen to, he started with innocent how are you and what have you been doing questions. And then it came, “Mummy has just been telling me about last week when the car broke down.”

I didn't hear Jason's reply, but I guess now he'd been asked about it, he just spilled the whole thing out. The upshot was, when James put the phone down, he said, “OK. What's the big deal?”

“I'm not sure what you mean.”

“Jason says it wasn't mended on the day it broke down. Mary took them to school. How long were they working on it.”

“Two days. Well two evenings. And Jason was right Mary did give the kids a lift to school, but only the once.”

“So they worked on the car for two days from early afternoon, until when?”

“I'm not sure, maybe around ten'ish.”

“So two nights working all those hours. Two men we don't even know. Ok, how much did you pay them?”

“Nothing. Honest. I offered. I said you'd pay when you got back home. But they said they don't take money. They said it's a country thing. Neighbours helping each other.”

“So if we're that much in their debt, why did you stop me going over to thank them yesterday? I know it wouldn't be enough, but at least it would show we appreciated their help.”

I was now boxed into a corner, and couldn't think how to answer. And I just burst out into tears.

“Ok. I don't understand what's gone on. But I'm sure as hell gonna find out.”

So, as James now makes the running, I'll let him take over telling the story.

I was fuming. I knew my Shirley, and this lie telling and secretive behaviour, was definitely not her. So I knew someone else was to blame. And from what little I knew of what had been going on behind my back, it was all pointing to the two men who lived in the house opposite.

So when I got to their front door, I opted for using the heavy metal door knocker; that is as apposed to using the electric doorbell. And I didn't knock it gently; I whacked it against its metal anvil as violently as I could. It had the desired effect of sending an earth shattering banging through the hallway of the house. And this in turn had the desired effect of bringing at least one of the occupants to the door in a state of confusion.

As he opened the door, he angrily demanded, “What's all the bloody racket? Are you trying to break the bloody door down?”

“I'm Mr Tranter, and I want to know what's been going on?”

The man's anger, and hence the tone of his voice, changed instantly. “Ah, you must be James.” And out came his hand, as if offering it for a handshake, as he continued with, “Shirley's husband. We were expecting you.”

“Never mind the handshake. I want to know what's been going on?”

“No doubt you'll be inquiring about your car. Well it was something and nothing. No more than a loose wire.”

As he said the words, no more than, I spoke in unison with him, completing his sentence. “A loose wire. Yes, I've heard that one. But what I want this time is the truth.”

“Ah. I see. Her little charade didn't hold water. I guess I'd expected you'd see through that. In that case, me'be you'd better come in, so I can give you the full story.” He stepped back to one side, and as I stepped in, their big black and tan Alsatian dog got to his feet, from where he'd been lying on the floor behind his master. And as he did, I made an involuntary, momentary pause. “Don't worry about Satan. So long as you keep calm, don't raise your voice, and don't make any threatening gestures, he'll not bother you.”

“Is that supposed to worry me?”

“Worry you? I thought I was explaining exactly the opposite. I saw your reaction to Satan, and I was attempting to put you at your ease.”

“What, with all that shit about not raising my voice, or making threatening gestures. I could see what you were saying. Well neither you nor your dog scares me. So let's go inside and hear how you explain away what's happened between you and my wife.”

“Ok, after you. We sit in the back room.”

I strode down his hallway and into the back room, with him following. And bearing in mind, even though I knew these men were called Trevor and Bill, at this point in time, I didn't know which of the two this was. But as he followed me into the room, he offered me a seat and sat himself opposite me. He then said calmly, “Can I get you something, a cup of tea, or something stronger?”

“No, thank you. All I want is an explanation of why my wife lied, and why she's sitting at home in tears; unable to explain herself.”

He went on to tell me all about my wife's car breaking down, and the sequence of events that followed; pretty much as you've already read in my wife's version of this story. But I'm guessing there were parts he left out, or altered inferences in places. And the way he told it, him and his brother Bill were knights in shining armour, with glowing halos above their heads.

But I'm guessing that the real divergence in the two versions of the story was from the point when my wife appeared at their door last Friday afternoon. But bearing in mind, at this point, I hadn't heard the version you have.

So this was how Trevor, for that was who I now knew I was talking to, described what happened last Friday.

“Your lass was so excited. Well I guess being as you've now driven the car, you'll know what I mean when I say she was overwhelmed by the change in it. And I don't think it was just excitement and gratitude about the car itself. I think when things had all gone wrong for her, and having to walk home with the young'uns. And then the consequences of no car and not enough money. I guess that anxiety must have been all bottled up. So when she arrived at the door, it was. Well I'm not sure how to describe it. She flung her arms around my neck and started planting kisses on me. Not just one, but in a kind of frenzy. I mean I could tell right off she wasn't in a rational state.”

“So you took advantage of her?”

“No, of course not. I brought her in here and attempted to calm her down. But her emotions were going haywire, she started crying, and then apologising for the fact she was crying. I couldn't really do anything with her. Well apart from sitting with her on that settee and holding her in a fatherly cuddle until she'd cried herself out. But before she reached that point, Bill came down to see what all the fuss was about, so I got him to reassure her, whilst I went out to make a cup of tea.”

“What d'you mean? Reassure her?”

“Nothing untoward. He just took my place on the settee, and held her whilst she sobbed.”

“And then what?”

“Look, I want you to understand this. D'you know about our Bill?”

“What d'you mean? Know about him. What's to know?”

“He's not the sharpest knife in the box. Don't get me wrong, put a spanner in his hand or let him listen to a knock or rattle in an engine, and he'll sort it in no time. But he's not at ease with people; especially women. He's never been with one before. So when your lass's mood swung full circle again and she started in on kissing him, he didn't have any idea where she was leading him. And in truth, the state she was in, I don't think she realised either.”

“Are you trying to tell me Shirley egged him on?”

“Not deliberately. But as he responded to her kissing, her kissing changed from simple kisses on the lips, to open mouthed. French jobs. I mean, Bill hadn't got a clue, he just reacted to the natural urges.”

“What you mean is, he raped her!”

“There was no rape. She was the one guiding the way. Bill just followed. I'll grant you he was willing enough once the newness of the situation had worn off.”

“I don't believe a word of it. I'm going straight to the police. Let's see if you can persuade them with your cock and bull story.”

“I think you ought to consider your wife's feelings for a minute. Especially when the truth of this gets out. It's not everyone who'll put such an understanding interpretation on her actions. And in that respect you'll not look good yourself.”

“Me? How's any of this reflect on me?”

“Well all this stems from your neglect.”

“How the hell d'you make that out?”

“Well the car only needed servicing once a year and you didn't even do that. But to keep a woman right, they need constant attention. A good fucking once a night is only basic rations for a healthy lass of her age. And you're away for three weeks at a time. No wonder she flipped.”

“Don't be so foul. That's my wife you're talking about.”

“I know, I remember hearing her on that very settee. It was bad enough watching them while she was arching her back and telling our Bill to give it to her harder. But the sobbing afterwards. She was devastated when she came down and realised what she'd done. I tell you, if it'd not been for her kids, I don't think she'd have been here when you came home.”

“Don't give me that shit. She wouldn't have left me, just because your brother raped her.”

“I'm not talking of leaving. Unless you mean leaving this life. She was in bits. Talking of suicide. I tell you it was only when I thought of your young'uns, and reminded her of how they'd miss her. But not for that, I genuinely think she'd have done it.”

“Well I don't believe a word you've said. I'm going home, and tomorrow morning I'll be taking her to the police station in town.”

And then as I got to my feet, so did Trevor, saying, “I'm a coming with you. I don't want you colouring what I've told you with your own slant, and changing the meaning.”

“There's no need. The police will get the true story direct from Shirley.”

“I'm not asking your permission. I'm telling you, I'm coming with you. I've had to break a promise I made to your wife. And I'll be damned if I'll let you misrepresent what I've said. She'll hear it from my lips, so she knows I'm not telling tales behind her back.”

The march from his house to mine was done in an ominous silence. But although it only took a minute, you'd not believe the amount of thinking and reasoning that took place in my head. Could my Shirley really have given herself to that man willingly? This question I turned over and over, but had difficulty in accepting. But the more worrying, and hard hitting, was my part in all this. Yes I'll hold my hand up to the blame for the car breaking down. After all, it was an old car, and I knew it was way past due for a service. And I guess, when Shirley first lost her job, I did say that when it finally gave up the ghost, we'd not be able to afford another. So could that have built up into enough pressure to drive her to such extreme actions? But overriding all those concerns was his comment about lack of loving. I guess I'd not even thought about it.

Yes I know it affected me, but I'm a man and men have a craving for sex that women don't feel. So after just the first six weeks without, I was as horny as a buck rabbit in springtime. And on my second stint away from home, I had a little fling with the landlady whose house I was boarding in. She was nothing special, but as they say, any port in a storm, and my sea was getting pretty stormy. It wasn't anything that was going anywhere, just an opportunity that presented itself on the last three nights of a five night stay; and I've never seen her since.

And since then, there's only been one other. A woman in a pub, who I bought a drink for, and we chatted until the pub closed. And the fuck, well it was nothing special, up against the wall in a back alley. So yes I know men suffer if they're not getting it regular, but I always thought women looked upon sex as a duty or a chore that came with marriage.

Shit, we're here and I'm opening the front door. I lead Trevor into our front room, and Shirley is still sitting in the chair where I left her; and she still looks like she's crying. I point Trevor towards the chair at the other side of the room, and then nip out to have a quick piss; I was busting.

This next bit might get a little confusing, as when each of the three people finds it necessary to explain their feelings, they will take over the story.

Trevor.

As soon as he's out of earshot, I go over to Shirley, take hold of her by the shoulders, and say as forcefully as possible, without raising my voice, “Listen lass. I'm not sure what went on before he came to see me, but I've had to come clean on all we did to your car. And I've also told him about you and Bill having sex.”

Shirley.

I heard James arrive back, but I was still in no mood to discuss anything. In fact, I was in no mood for anything at all. Then I became aware of Trevor in the room. And seconds later he'd got hold of me, and he was talking. At first, it was just words, nothing registered, or if it did; it certainly didn't matter. And then something struck home. He said, “I've also told him about you and Bill having sex.”

My head almost exploded. I opened my eyes, and staring at him in disbelief, I said, “Please no.”

I would have said more, but he put his finger to my lips, and said, “Don't talk. We haven't got time. I've blamed Bills lack of wits, your distressed state of mind, but mostly your James for not fucking you regular. Now if you don't want this whole thing to blow up into a big row and end up with a divorce, you'll nod your head and backup everything I say. Hold up, he's coming back, think on lass.”

James.

As I'd expected, when I arrived back in the front room to join my wife and Trevor, she was still sat there with her head down. And even this state of continued withdrawal, made me edge towards believing Trevor's story. I went and sat on the arm of the chair she was sitting in, and with my arm on her shoulder, said, “I'm sorry love. But I just need to get my head around what's been going on. Now I'm not saying I believe him, but he's been telling me some kind of story about you and his brother.” She didn't reply, she didn't even look up. “Ok, I know this must be hard, especially if what he says is true. So I'll forget most of the why's and wherefore's for now. I'll just cut to the nitty gritty. And then if you confirm what he's said he might as well go. He's saying you and his brother had sex?” Still no reply, but the intensity of her crying increased. “Please Shirley. I'm not gonna be angry with you. I just have to know. Did he?”

Trevor had been silent up to now. But at this point he launched himself to his feet, and snapped out, “Hey! I'll not have that. It takes two to tango, and our Bill didn't even know how to dance. This was just something that happened without either of them knowing, and once started; neither of them could stop it.”

I'd already turned in reaction to Trevor getting to his feet, and I said, “Ok Ok. I hear you. Just back off a minute." And then looking back down at my wife, I said, "Please Shirley. Just nod your head if he's telling the truth when he says you and Bill had sex?” She nodded her head, and another flood of tears burst forth. “Ok, just one more thing. Did he rape you?” Without any hesitation, her head swung slowly from side to side, a definite shake of the head, which meant no.

So that was it. Trevor had told the truth, or as near as I was going to get, and it seamed pointless him being here. I turned to him, “You might as well go.”

“I'll leave when your lass tells me she feels safe.”

“What d'you mean? Safe? You're not here to protect her.”

He rose to his feet again, “Look lad. I've seen husbands that feel they've been cheated on before. I'm not leaving until she tells me she feels safe to be left with you.”

“This is my house; you'll go when I say you go.”

“No lad. You're not big enough to throw me out, and if you've got any sense at all, you'll forget I'm here and look to your wife. She needs to know you care more about her wellbeing than you care about stupid marital conventions.”

“Ok, have it your way, but I don't want you sticking your oar in. Just sit there and keep your nose out.”

I spent a good forty minutes or more, gently coaxing my wife out of the shell she'd withdrawn herself into. Not that she was back to her old self by then, but she'd at least stopped crying.

And Trevor, well surprisingly, half an hour after I'd had to tell him to keep his nose out; he got to his feet and said, “Well, I'm off home. I can see you've come to your senses, so the lass will be alright. But I will be popping across tomorrow to check on things, so no recriminations once I'm out of earshot.”

I let him go without bothering to take him up on his comments, and as I've said, I carried on coaxing her until she was once again able to talk to me. But even though she was able to talk small talk, it was obvious I wasn't going to get any more information about what had really taken place.

That night in bed, we cuddled, we kissed, and we both vowed our undying love for each other. But one thing I didn't do, was to press her on the details. It wasn't that I was satisfied with what I'd been told, or that I believed it. But it was obvious that Shirley wasn't in a state to tell me. So I consoled myself with Trevor's version, blaming worry, excitement and mostly a deep rooted frustration caused by lack of sex. This was something I'd never considered before, but from now on, it was something I couldn't ignore. Maybe I should suggest she gets herself a vibrator?

Shirley.

I was so confused, Trevor had gone, and James was doing everything he could think of, to comfort and reassure me that things between us were alright. But I'd just admitted to having sex with the man from across the road. And I'd even let him believe I'd been, well if not encouraging him, then at least in some way instructing him. How had Trevor put it? “It takes two to tango, and our Bill didn't even know how to dance.” Meaning I'd shown him; and we all knew Trevor didn't really mean dancing.

So as much as I was glad that James was being so understanding, I couldn't understand why.

I can't remember any of the rest of that evening, and even once in bed, it's all a blur.

The next morning things just appeared to be normal, that is as far as the surface behaviour of James. But even though I knew he was still burning to get answers from me, I still wasn't in the frame of mind to face him. So during the morning, while he went out to the garage for his monthly fight with the mower, I was busy with my own chores in the kitchen.

I say monthly fight with the mower, but until he started this working away from home shift, it had previously been a weekly fight. And even from the kitchen, I could hear him grumbling in the garage, as he pulled time and again on the starting rope of the mower. And then I heard, “Fuck and shit. I'm fucking fed up to the back teeth with this heap of shit.” And then the garage doors slammed shut with a loud, “Crash.”

As I went to the lounge to look out of the window, I saw Trevor striding down our garden path after James, who was making his way back to the house.

James takes over again.

On Saturday morning, I did my best to appear upbeat, and not to let my inner feelings show. But in truth, I was seething. I couldn't imagine how Shirley had done what she'd done. And for all I'd said the words, and I think, at the time, meant them; it just didn't seem possible to forgive her. And no matter what, there was no way on God's earth I could forget.

But like I say, I tried, and in trying, I thought that keeping to my normal routine would be the best way to attempt to let things settle out. So after breakfast and the usual meaningless idle conversation, I went out to mow the lawns. This was always a challenge at the best of times; as the mower was old and very temperamental. It normally did a passable job once started, but getting it going was never easy. But in my current mood, it wasn't just difficult, it was proving impossible. And after maybe five minutes of flogging my guts out pulling on the starter cord, the bloody cord snapped! I was bloody furious, and after venting my anger with a few choice words, and throwing the starting handle with the remnants of the cord still attached across the garage, I slammed the garage doors closed.