All Comments on 'Breaking News'

I doubted the motivations of the characters, other wise it was pretty well written but not carefully plotted.

Is English your second language? Either way, you should enlist the help of an editor. There were many mistakes that could have been easily avoided. It was distracting. While it was an original idea, which I appreciate, it wasn't very well executed. You can jump from one scene to another in a story but it disturbs the flow when you title the transitions. For example: At the hall. First, it would be "In the hall." But I think that a simple line of **** would have been less distracting. It wasn't entirely believable. But it wasn't horrible.

Your story looks unique but it could have been better had it been edited well.