All Comments on 'Bright Eyes'

An unfinished story. So much missing.

Another story that only proves that the "why" of having an affair is irrelevant. I hope she enjoys her new empty life. Just another run-of-the-mill slut that didn't learn the lesson in advance that it's never worth it.

Great beginning, look forward to parts 2 and 3.

Yeah, this was great, but I needed more. It's a beginning or a middle, but needs more development to be a full story.

Very powerful, intense emotions.

Well-written and powerful, thanks for a good read.

That’s a great story, packing so much emotion in a short story.

Short, but poignant.

These are all pretty good starts to stories.

Flashes really.

Wow, this really pulls on the heart strings. Well written.

and?

I really hate a half finished story.....

Unfinished story but at least the husband was not portrayed as a dummy but understood immediately the situation and apparently was taking the right action.Having expressed that...Very well done and presented wonderfully.Its way to short but your good writing and knack for story telling still told the story....I hate 750 words style submissions as it takes time to tell a tale..this story is the exception.

5 stars...PS..please keep true to your style....JZK

Sad short story but finished.

It really needs an ending.

An outstanding author, from the long-Binding Ashes- to the short -Bright Eyes- your writing is phenomenal!

good start, but an unfinished story.

Impressive being able to convey the end of a previously happy marriage and the sadness that goes with it in so few words.

The question is, what is he going to do, and what are they going to do?

The BTBers and the RAAC folks already know what they want.

The question to the author is whether he panders to one side or the other in a continuation

Very well constructed short story that conveys the sadness caused by the affair. Was it worth it? Well posed question. A real gem

Beautifully-writtten, engaging, so sad! Thank you.

Ed

The best short story that I have read on this site 5*

This remains one of my favorite stories. It is powerful and you don't need to know the future to know the pain. Great job!

Wait… where is the story?

Short and incomplete.

This is a good story and a very good author.

Good story, needed a finish though

Scores 4/5

routine so only thre stars. Describes actions and discovery but no real emotional state where the real power in stories lies.

Never an excuse for cheating, if you want to screw around don't get married. It was interesting the way you tied what he was seeing in his wifes eyes to seeing the same thing thing in the news paper. There are a lot of mixed up people in this world and some of them should never be married. I thought it was a good story as we all know where and how it would end. Keep writing.

This would be good if you had more depth and finished them. Im not going to read anymore as I feel like they will all be the same,

one star cause it's unfinished

I liked it.

I especially like stories that are a brief moment in time. He learned that the unthinkable was true.

No beginning; no end. 1 star

5☆

Comprehensively out!

Not often you get a beautifully formed and condensed complete story so succinctly and masterfully told!

Cant wait for the next delivery!

BTB or RAAC it doesn't matter. What is wrong with the reader using some imagination and ending the story as you see fit?

However, this additional comment (Nov. 2018):

(goddamned 'Progressive Liberals' have no imagination or common sense)

Is a remarkably dim-witted addition. Feeble boy. Feeble.

Ohhhhhhhh they're finished, alright. You just weren't paying attention. (goddamned 'Progressive Liberals' have no imagination or common sense)

A short story that said everything that needed saying. (for astute people who HAVE common sense) five *s.

Unfinished

Chur bro awesome story

I just assumed the woman doctor in the newspaper story was a harbinger of what was going to happen to Jan. That's my conclusion, lost husband, lost marriage, lost children, lost family. She'll die a loser. What a waste.

I read some of the previous comments. The story is finished, as is the relationship of the characters.

see above

Clearly not that much time when YOU CAN'T FINISH a single fucking story.

He obviously still loves her and vice versus.

It seems that maybe counciling would either help them find out what caused it and or repair damage. Then they can heal together or separate. It needs another page or two bring completion.

why doesn't this moron finish his shit?

Here I was intently reading (and enjoying) this story when all of a sudden "boom", it ended. WTF!!!!!!!

I mean, you have really pissed me off. This story is totally incomplete.......

I should have read the ending before I started and I could have saved myself a lot of time.....nuff said......

But almost all your stories are incomplete. And really not worth reading..

Almost like a premise. Where is the actual story??

I'm mostly disappointed after reading your stuff.

Yes, this is a short tale BUT it says it all. All that's left is the legal stuff and who cares why, when, how, etc. It's over. Thanks for a very poignant story.

The last 'no' was just one word too many!

others can see the entire story in a single snapshot. I liked this.

Ok we have the start of a pretty good story, just where is the rest of it.

now! enter the real pain and family turmoil, TK U MLJ LV NV

Of course, my own wife said the same thing, it wasn't worth it. It was when she was walking out our door, leaving me and our two young children behind. Another man had won her heart and vagina for a short time and knowing I would never accept her back, agreed to leave when I told her there wasn't a place for her at our home. She spent two weeks at his place until she realized what a mistake she'd made.

But it was too late.

As to the work put into a story, I understand full well. I am working on my 7th novel and know full well of the pain in giving birth to a new life, otherwise known as a story!

The story is over.

5*

Good story,

Right now I can see the love both have for each other. The base is there for reconciliation but a great deal is lost in their relationship.Would love to see how this works out between them. She has to hurt inside because he will never again call her Bright Eyes no matter what happens. She will always hurt for the love that she betrayed. More please!

sorry. did not rate it. if i did it would be low. you need to finish it.

You just leave us hanging.

Good beginning, but as the title says, FAR TOO SHORT!

Great beginning but so much is left unsaid.

But they can be hardest to see - of course -

Nice job -

Goes from 1 to 5 score.

the windows to the soul. The lights that have gone out in their eyes are a reflection of the death of their souls. soon the darkness will spread to the rest of their family. a darkness whose depth will be measured by how deep their love once was. What a powerful story.

A lot of emotion in this brief tale. Sometimes the eyes are the window to the soul and the husband saw right into her heart and he knew. What's more, she knew he knew and realized she blew it. Life as she has known is gone forever.

Don't Cheat.

Great job on this one wetapap! As Cueball said, it was powerful, short, and to the point. Definitely a 5* story!

Short, but effective. As an old practioner of the "sweet science", it was like a fight ending sharp left hook to the jaw in the first round. The set up, the raw power of it all, then the quick explosive ending in just a few short paragraphs were delivered spot on. I considered it quite remarkable.

I noted some abuse from other readers who were less than pleased that you did not spell out the ending for them. That would have been all fine and well. On the other hand, there is a possibility that going through all the gory details might have taken away all the raw emotion and power that this story had. Like the knock out punch I described above, this story left a distinct impression. And sometimes is it not well that we are left to use the imagination we are given to sort out this scene on our own? A wonderful story. I salute you!

in this case I think COST would be more appropo. TK U MLJ LV NV

A continuation would have been nice, but then that's just the purist in me. It's not hard to imagine the rest of it, but it's always easier to have it spelled out by the original author.

I liked the story. Short and sweet, with all the proper ingredients. Kind of like a hot dog with the works.

Once again I have had the unpleasant duty of deleting a comment. Feel free to say anything you wish, good or bad, about my stories or the opinions and comments posted by others. But please understand that I will not allow the comment section of my stories to be used to vent personal attacks against other readers.

0

Why should this Story be unfinished ?

There are so many Stories on this site which run around in circles with guilt, revenge, reconciliation, new love. I love many of them.

But the fact remains that after you discovered the person you trusted most in the World has betrayed you there is simply nothing more to say. At least nothing that really matters.

I don't have a problem with the ending. It is up to the reader to draw their own conclusions about what happened next.

I like to think that her guilt and acceptance that it WASN'T worth it show remorse and they probably try to work it out. But then again I'm not one for "torch the bitch" stories unless if the wife really is a bitch.

I liked it, I gave it a 5. A great change of pace. I really felt for the husband, to go on would have cheapened the story. I have just found your stories, so far I think they are great.

Nice build up, great development, but... you should finish!

What purpose would another chapter serve? It is a finished story. Reconciliation would make half the readers happy and divorce with vengence would make the other half extatic. So just leave the story as it is where nobody is happy; wife, hubby, reconcilers and torch the bitche'rs. Sometimes life sucks. Thanks author. Great short story. Jim

Combine an unfinished story (is this one of those "Flash" bullshit incomplete story things?) with an unresolved wimp ending (I mean don't most normal guys "just go to work" when they find out their wife is cheating?) I just gotta give you double goose eggs (00) AND a Bronx cheer or some other kind of fart noise.

Now what happened? She cheated, he found out, he leaves and starts a new life after what 25 - 30 years. She tries to commit suicide or some other thing and he comes back to her.

She leaves and he is depressed for the next 10 years. She says I sorry I never wanted to hurt you he says OK and life goes on. He get mad and shoots her between the eyes, take that you bitch. Which ending do you prefer. Oh well, it an old story I just found and no one cares anyway.

But you have several of these half finished stories.

I think this was a good beginning of a story. At most it is half a story, and therefore I gave it a "50%" rating. I wouldn't even call it a complete short story, since it was really just enough to pique my interest, then leave me hanging and frustrated (much like your story about the mailbox). Frankly, that is an annoying trait. If you post again, please try to give the reader a complete story. Yes, I can use my imagination, but I read stories to experience someone else's imagination.

This is the second of your stories that I have read and it "Too" is fantastic writing. I guess that is your secret. You write that beautiful first part of the story. You don't go to the pain and grieving of the middle part nor the terrible ending or happy finish of reconciliation... It would be worth a best selling novel it you could do all three parts like the first part. You are one of the greatest I have read with your husband's first realization then first confrontation phases! I will keep reading all of your stories because you do what you do so well!

It's very sad for both of the husband and wife, who just found out that their lives will now change for the worse. For him, can he forgive her? Probably not! For her, why did she think that giving herself to someone else would make her feel better? She now knows what she has lost, and will never get back her husbands love and respect. His mistake was thinking that she loved him as much as he loved her, and was confident that he was the only one that she would have sex with and give her love to. He probably knew that he isn't the best of lovers, but thought their shared love would be enough to keep her knees together when around other men. This very well written story made me sad, but gave me so many thoughts. The author has done very well. Thanks for the post.....Rich

I am not trying to be funny or snide, but he seems like some readers have a punishment checklist that need to me doled out in a story like this (close bank acct, std testing, tell parents and friends, etc). I think wetapap is my favorite author on this site because he makes me buy into his story instead of just placating me with the standard story form on this site (some of which I love).

The commentaries are also fascinating. The idea that without consequences in detail a story is incomplete shows

a lack of appreciation for a gem.

It is amazing how much you transmitted to us in so few words and it did leave me very sad for the couple.

So right on!!! One of the few stories that takes my breath away... I do believe some of us have been down this path and have NOT recognized the situation

I have read this story several times now and each time I feel as if it reaches the very core of my soul. Wish I could quote 200.

Loving Wife stories I've read. I absolutely love your work. When I score your work 100 I truly mean it. Please post new work soon. Glenn in NC P.S. Poppatode how do we get in touch with you. Love your stuff too.

I like it. If it was my wife, I would have died inside just like he showed in the mirror. There could be no reconcilliation, no happy ending, just total depression and sadness.

Very short and very clean. good story and an enjoyable read.

You should really publish your stories in book form as a collection. Just think what you are depriving the regular print readers of! YOU CAN WRITE. Hope you DO write -- that is, continue to write. Best wishes and admiration.

02/29/08 by Nucleus in Germany

Nothing more to add. The other comments said it all but ... you changed POV.

For example

The beginning: His POV

change:

Shaking herself out of her reverie,... her POV (he can't know that she's dreaming)

or this (her POV):

Her sadness seems to reflect her knowledge that the best life has to offer has come and gone for her."

Maybe he can suppose her feeling

Maybe he recognise her looking and can compare it to a former sadness she had had. (dead of parents or friend etc)

next change:

Sadly he queried, "I can't help wondering ... It's a DON'T in shortstories. That's the only thing I would remark. Anyway thank you for good entertainment. Good story.

Sincere regards

Nucleus

Reference:

(deleted per Nucleus's request and Literotica's rules. The only way i could accomplish this was by copying the original comment and reposting it without the link, wetapap)

copy and paste

please close the lap in "lite_rature" after pasting the link

Perfect, just the way it is.

you are good! thank you my brother.....so vivid, you nailed me in the first paragragh can you expound on this story soon. im so involved with both characters i want to know more. you know your readers because you are one. you are inspiring me. youve set a higher bar.

it's a sad story indeed. But aren't all cheating wives stories sad for the wronged party as well as for the other. There are no real winners here. It's a magnificent story expressing exactly the feelings of what is lost and can never be restored 100 %. The story as such doesn't ask for another chapter and it would be very difficult to match this one in bringing out the emotions as done here. But isn't that a challenge ? So many other readers also feel not all is said or explained... G.Belgium

Did they divorce and who was the man ? more to the story?

This is a wonderful case of a story that is complete right where you ended it--or the perfect start to a much longer story. In some ways, I hope you don't add to it. As it is now, each reader can imagine the past and future of these two characters in unique and meaningful ways.

... but very nicely done. Please give us the rest of the story.

Wonderfull story, wish there was a follow up, see how it all turned out writers mind. Thanks!

Since the characters didn't die, there is obviously more to THEIR story. Whether there is more to Wetapap's story is, of course, his call. This is a most excellent stand-alone story and subsequent chapters would diminish that effect. However, the story is so well done that the reader is sucked right in and wants to find out what happens next. This leaves Wetapap with a tricky proposition. He's done his job so well that his readers are clamoring for more; if he gives his readers what they want, it could devalue what he's already done. I just want to encourage Wetapap to write more. If it's a continuation of this story, that's terrific. If it's something new, that's great too. Just more, please.

Very good but I would like to know the who's, why's, etc. and maybe what happens now. It is, even without, a very good story.