by nikki_2021
For me, this was good up until the point where they went to the movies, after that, it lost all of the love and caring factors and just went into slutville where she would fuck just anyone no matter who it was.
Really hot and erotic, to combine this genre story with a woman awakening (to) her own inner slut. Perhaps it is from her not admitting how much she wants her brother, or it was just a fantasy that she wanted to make happen, and she can/ wants to settle down some now. Maybe she wants to have lots more (relatively) indiscriminate sex with picked-up guys.
However, she did not tell her bro what she has been doing with that cunt so that he can make an informed decision, and he does not (in our info) think of her as a slut. so, this was fairly uncool. Sluts are fine, god bless 'em, but hiding it is not cool. He has the right to be reasonably informed about the possibility of STDs, and of how important/ involving the sex might be to the partner who is offering (just another ONS/ fling/ relationship/ emotional attachment).
The only other real problem is that somehow the brother can fully use his own hands except from the time he needs to put the plastic over his casts before the actual bathing starts until his sister leaves the bathroom after, without her helping him with even removing the plastic.
Related to this is that the brother never gets fully washed for several days, his backside must be gross by "now", and his balls must have been not comfortable for several days at the beginning of the story.
A good bit more thought into what "cannot use his hands" means, practically, would make the story much better.
That does not change that this was a hot, genre-expanding story with a woman trying to figure some things out for herself.
I got my critique off my chest, you get a five
Quite liked this. I thought the transition from reticent to full-on was a bit too abrupt, but hey .. it's your story :-)
I am amazed at the number of incel cockwombles who cannot stand a strong assertive woman who decides she wants to break free.
And worse, who attack the author for daring to suggest that their fantasies are not the only valid ones.
I never understand the point of this kind of story. If you're going to write some OTT slut adventure then why even bother setting up a sibling attraction angle and all the tender moments? None of the subsequent action matches up to that. Let's not even get into all the weird contradictions about the brother's hands and how he goes back and forth to being able to use them. How was he wiping his arse at first? So many stupid details and extra guys derailed the concept then the sex was just so puke-inducing nasty and whorish it went nothing nearing erotic as just a dirty read.
I think you are a very dirty girl Nicky , but I'm glad your here writing stories like this to entertain the rest of us. As I've said before your imagination knows no bounds thankfully what I ever you write its always 5 stars from me. Particularly as I have read this umpteen times before. You may have been here since 2004, but to me you'll never grow old. Bob.
Bec is low quality… story strayed from the original plot. Her brother should stay away from her diseased ass. 1*
Brothrer sister my fucking ass. More than half of the story was about Bec fucking someone, then getting gangbanged. It's under the wrong category, and lacks a lot of tags that too.
Well done! EVERYONE has sexual fantasies m even these psuedo Quakers who got lost and are on literotica writing bad reviews. Next time go to Jimmy Swaggarts web site, you sanctimonious lot!
Anyway enough of that. Your story is very good and I know that fantasy came from somewhere. If you are this good at dreaming these up AND doing such a wonderful job writing them…..well, and I mean this in the best way possible, Old Al wishes he had been born about 25 years later!! We could research some stories. Hah.
Thank you for the excellent story!
Al
Enough with all the anonymous slut shaming! It’s fantasy if there weren’t things above and beyond the normal the story would be boring. So many want to criticize but when I check their profile the have ZERO submissions. To them, if this isn’t your cup of tea...move on.
It's better you named this title as a Horny Slut sister Fucked by Every guy....I am disappointed.... personally I don't like this story and writing...and many people also criticizing this story as well so for me...this is gross
Good premise.
Not so good story.
Gets lost when all the sex appears with Josh and his friends. Why?
Sex scenes are too fast. Too fast starting. Too fast while underway. Too fast ending. It's as if the author is in a hurry to get them done and over with.
Three stars.
female writer who can't write and makes guys look like wusses. Stopped reading in the middle of page 2. 1*
Most of the story was spent on her being a gross slut. I was disappointed.
Yeah, she's a slut... That was really a horrible deviation in the story, imho, just really came out of left field, and I just thought, wtf?!? Lol.
Her slutness aside, yeah, no way I'd stick my dick in that! I'm assuming she's on bc, of course since we're in fantasy land, technically there's no STDs, hell, I've never read a story on here where anyone ever caught one, heh!
Got side tracked, her slutness aside, the guys were just as fucking bad... I mean, who the hell wants to have sex with a girl with some other guy there? Much less two?!? Fuck that!! I don't even want to know the size of my buddies dick, much less see it, much less see it in the girl I want to fuck! While I'm fucking her!! Lol!
I could possibly see if I liked the girl and we had been friends for a long time, but she had this long time boyfriend, then she called me up and said that she wanted to have coffee, so she could feel me out on a fantasy of hers, a three way with me and her bf, just her ass the focal point, no guy on guy, hehe. Then I might consider it. Of course my payment would be some one on one time ;)
Her bf is an inconsiderate douche, but probably part for the course for that she group. It was even worse decades ago before the internet and freely available information on how to please the opposite sex, easy to research at a fingers reach!
Though even today there's probably a large portion that would never think of it, lol.
She's just as guilty though, more so actually. If she isn't telling him then he doesn't know. If she isn't MAKING him give her an orgasm then she's just hurting herself and hurting them as a couple. If he says he doesn't like going down because of taste or some such bullshit, then she needs to tell him to suck it up and be a man, because unless she has a yeast infection or just never bathes, then it can't be that bad, lol.
You can bet that if she was on top riding his ass, fucked herself to a fast, hard orgasm with her finger on her clit, then hopped off, plopped on her back and grabbed a cigarette and said, "whew! That was good baby! Was it good for you too?"
That he would whine and complain like a little child that he didn't get to cum!! ROFL!!
I almost always go down on my girl first before we have sex, if not then I'll work it in the middle somewhere or at the end, unless she just doesn't want an orgasm. Yeah, I haven't figured that one out yet either, lol, she is a weird one though:/. I mean, who turns down an orgasm?!? Bet I could post that on Craigslist, "wife turned down orgasm this morning, so looking for nice, personable, young (say under 40ish) skinny girl that would like it instead! I have a surplus of them that she's turned down this year. A lot of missed out sex to go along with those as well, if interested! Must expect sex to last 20-30 minutes minimum, after foreplay, I've never figured out what a quickie is, sorry!"
Hehe.
Other than the of track slutville shit, the story was pretty great!
Josh was a dock,
Can’t believe he is passing on that beautiful and sexy girl,
A question...Why isn’t she on the pill?
I am surprised a sexually woman is not using the pill.
Can’t wait for the next chapter and she adds anal.
You made a lover to a slut. For a fantasy it is fine. But in real life, I would never fuck her. Because, I don't want to get a disease from her. How many guys she is doing. four or five.
Yet another brilliant story that gets you hooked.........such a brilliant writer!!!!
Hello! I'm your newest fan! I just finished reading my first of your stories! I can't wait to read the rest! This story has nice pacing, good grammar, and I cared about the characters! Well, not George and Josh. But every good story needs some villans and foils. Keep up the great work, and if you take requests, I would love to read your take on a consensual facial tale!!!
Thank you so much for this story! Nice pacing, I cared about the characters...hated George,lol! (not you writing about him....just him) I can't wait to read your other stories! Your newest fan, Dex p.s. do you have any stories including consensual facial cumshots?
Liked the story very much. Like Bec, too. What a woman!
But there too much that doesn’t fit:
How does Matt use the toilet?
How does he dress and undress?
How does he drink and eat?
The actual sex was something of a letdown by comparison. Hard to say why.
If she told Josh or whoever what she wanted, she'd have been a lot happier. So much of the drama could have been avoided by a little honesty. Though I guess the brother made out okay.
for one thing, if brother could undress, he would not need her help and he would not be able to lay on the floor and put in the earplugs to listen to music if he could then he would have been able to wank off. when you started mixing up the characters names I stopped reading, there was no point in going farther, it was clear you did not edit your story and that takes away from it, so I wasn't going to waste my time trying to edit because you were too lazy to do so, I gave you 2 stars, but thinking more about it you should have only got one star.
If Bec weren't such a slut then the plot wouldn't be worth a shit,but because of her brother Matt he keeps her somewhat grounded.Make Sense?
This story definitely took a unique turn, compared to similar stories in this genre. Really well done IMHO.
I'd live to have some followup letters on all yours stories.. keep going posting...
I kove you work
Great story until you deviated and had her becoming a slut with almost every guy she came across. Detracted from the story and made it less than it could have been.
bec character started off good but i felt like it became insensitive towards the end. total shift of personality. i liked the way she apologised to josh other wise i would have hated the character. i understand she started exploring her sexuality but it would have been nice if bec is a little more sensitive so that we can care about her character. overall it is very entertaining and you are a good story teller.
this story was great until the cinema... loved the story between the brother and sister the rest was not ideal.
A shame Bec was such a slut. I would have enjoyed the story if it had focused only on her and her brother.
I honestly think a rewrite would be a good idea.
What a scum of the earth whore skank. I wouldn't fuck that bitch for any amount of money. she is STD central. 1 star just to vote...
I enjoyed your story. I can’t wait to read part two. I see you have critics willing to give their identity. That’s a good thing. It’s the anonymous critics that only offer sarcasm that irritate me. I appreciate constructive critics and encourage them to offer anything that will help improve writing skills. Keep writing and learning, you are on your way to becoming a great story teller.
This NOT Incest and taboo what a fuck up try not write any more if this is what you think siblings want.
I'll be frank, I LOVED the story. I thought you did a brilliant job depicting the different emotions Bec goes through trying to come to terms with her feelings of unnatural lust and desire for her brother. It reminded me of a type of sexual "fight or flight" if you will...and she ultimately chose to embrace it however wrong, and try to remain in the seat of power during all of her sexual exploits. I could practically see her change as she fell into the darker, more sinful, lustful Bec.
Now, I will also say that I hope you continue on with this story as she comes to the realization of who she is becoming and starts to turn it around. Ultimatly choosing to be with her brother, who was the catalyst and pinnacle of it all. (I am a sucker for sappy love stories)
I also feel you did a fantastic job describing the way her mental and emotional shifts affected her friends around her. You have great talent. Honestly, I don't feel some of the commenters have really wrapped their heads around the emotional and mental trauma that one would undergo falling into desires that are so shunned by society. It's almost as if the new back became who she is in order to cope with that.
I'm in agreement with MOST of these comments. You totally killed this storyline with her Nymphomaniac tendencies fucking anything with a dick. Yet it's surprising she never once took a load of spunk up her crack, it all went in her mouth or did I read the story wrong. Even so, this is definitely not a loving brother / sister incest story that's for sure. I only hope in chapter 2 she closes shop on all the others and sticks to only her brother.. sorry for me it was disappointing. ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This story was a waste of a potentially good sibcest tale. It was simply too over the top. I rate it two dicks down.
Liked the first few pages, but then it just went downhill. Author has talent, but I'm not much for the slut behavior and it destroyed my interest. To each his own I guess.
It was good, although I do agree that Bec going for multiple partners was a bit far, for my taste in particular, I can also see why the author chose that route. This is the author's story, after all, and as a fellow writer (though not one who's written here yet, at the time of this comment), I can appreciate the changes in the story as well. It seems to break up the action a bit between Bec and Matt, which is a good idea. Keep it up, nikki_2021!
I NOTICED THAT IN EVERY ONE OF THE AUTHORS STORIES THE WOMEN INVOLVED NEVER GET OFF, ORGASM WITHOUT HAVING TO FINGER THEMSELVES. I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS BECAUSE THE AUTHOR HATES MEN OR IS JUST A STRAIGHT LESBIAN AND INCLUDES MEN FOR THE AUDIENCE. I HAVE NEVER FUCKED A WOMAN THAT I NEVER GAVE AN ORGASM BY PENETRATION, EVER! MAKES A MAN WONDER, DOESN'T IT?
:NEEDLESS DID ANY OF THEM KNOW THAT DEEP INSIDE BECS CUNT AN ADVANCED CASE OF SYPHILIS HAD TAKEN OVER AND SHE'D ALREADY SPREAD IT TO ALL HER SEX PARTNERS. THEY ALL DIED! THEY WERE QUICKLY FORGOTTEN.
MY X WIFE WAS JUST LIKE THIS WHORE AND I SUED HER FOR A DIVORCE! YIPPY, WHAT A FUCKED UP WORLD WE LIVE IN.
I loved the first 3 pages and then HATED THE REST.
Gang bang aside - I think this is a Good story!
Love the different take on "injured sibling needs my help" theme.
I want a brother like him. I want a big dick in my mouth. Fuck him so hard . I would let him touch me all the time. Who would fuck me?? My wet soaking pussy.
Made me cum twice! So hot, both with her brother or the friends.
Can't wait to read more of Nikki-2021 stories.
love the brother sister interaction but not keen at all on the gang bang, real turn off for me.
What a horrible sister too do these things while brother there and hurt. Scum hayed it.
What a scum of the earth slut. no one should EVER marry her, she would be a cheating skank...
Ok, you got this good. Bf and mates aside (they dragged the pace slightly)
But it's really good. I want to be fucked like bec by a big cock. And suck and take co k in my ass. Enough about that what I can see happen is, they continue fucking, mom catches them, gets a fuckjng off dad, bangs the two of them, dad catches her another good fucking then they all have a four way.
I enjoyed the story except gor the gangbang which I gound uneccesary and took away from the relationship betwwen the brother and sister. You intercganged the names of Matt and Josh several times thst momentarily confused me. You may want to employ the use of an editor that volunteer on this site.
You write very well and your use of the word "leant" did not bother me at all. I did not bother to read all 51 previous comments so I don't know if anyone else made this observation. You used the word "taught" to refer to her nipples and the word you should have used was "taut," assuming that her nipples were tightly stretched and not merely educated.
When sister started fucking anybody with a dick, I lost interest. That is just a matter of my personal preference and, as an author, I know that you can't write a story that pleases everyone. Therefore, I gave it 5 stars.
You started off well with this story but it all went downhill fast. For me you fucked it up big time from the cinema to spa scene and especially the threesome at home.I thought the brother and her were going to be the main characters to this storyline where she gradually realised her love for her brother and she gave herself totally and lovingly but in fact she was nothing but a sleazy sloppy slut that was just a bang for the boys and an empty out for the brother. What a shame you portrait her as nothing but a whore in this story. Disappointed to say the least. 5 star start to a lousy 2 star whatever......
I just stumbled across this hot story and loved it! Why all the nasty comments (and grammatical corrections)? And BTW I'm Australian too, "leant" is perfectly acceptable as the past tense of lean. Anyway, this story is hot because it reminds me of some times (many years ago) when I was 18-19 and my sister was 20-21. She was the "nice" good girl/studious, reliable, etc. type when mum and dad were around but when we had the house to ourselves her normally-closetted exhibitionist (i.e. she loved walking around the house naked) side came out, as did her also normally-hidden slutty cock-hungry side too. Like the girl in the story she was infatuated with my big cock. I kept her horny/cock-slut/nudist side a secret... just as she didn't tell anyone about my closet gay side either! Oh, what happy memories...
Thanks whoever leapt (that's past tense for leap, like leaped) to my defence.
verb, Chiefly British
1. a past participle and simple past tense of lean1.
I am proudly Australian and we use predominantly British rather than bastardised American English. Sure we mangle it from time to time. Sometimes I use slang hat Americans don't get. Grow up and realise the world is a big place and you don't exclusively own the English (note that's not American) language. Hell I don't complain when Americans Callan arse an ass or even a fanny (which is a pissy to us Aussies and the Brits).
Feel free to let me know where your own writing is anonymous and I'll cast a hypercritical eye over it for you. Haha. You get what you pay for most of the time in life and you paid zip. More of a bargain than you deserve.
Hmm I don't even normally react to this sort of crap because it's so petty. Maybe I'm hormonal today.
Hey anon,
Do you know what a dictionary is? By the way, your writing skills suck moron.
Leant: A past tense and a past participle of lean.
American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition.
Come on. You have a sentence containing early in the story 'she leant forward a little'. Leant is not a word. It should have been 'she leaned forward a little'. Where do so many of you who write on this site find these non existing words. I would have thought you would have learned better in school. When you use wrong or non existing words, it shows poor word skills, it also detracts from your story no matter how good your story is or how well you construct a story. Get yourself a good dictionary. You'd be surprised at how much that might help you. Better yet, get someone with good word skills to go over your story before submitting it.
This needed one more chapter to cover the period when he got the use of his arms back.
I couldn't see the point of the group sessions, they didn't add anything, if anything they detracted from the main story line.
Josh was a complete waste of time.
I'd rather you'd just stuck with Matt and Bec, it really didn't need the other characters, IMHO !
..Bec just nodded and took the soap in her hands, lathering them up with suds. Then she told Matt to stand so that the water wasn't washing over his cock and slipped her hands onto his shaft.
@@@ Ill tell you one thing, he'd tell her to grab the conditioner instead of using soap, soap burns like fucking fire when it gets in your dick, and it always gets in your dick if you use it! Its even worse when you pee afterwards trying to get it to stop burning! Ugh, Im shivering just thinking about the pain!! @@@
Why should I have my girlfriend get naked in front of my mates?" he asked her.
@@@ cant blame him there, no fucking way do I want my buddies looking at my girls body, much less touching it! @@@
"Such lovely cocks you have," Bec said and reached out a hand to each of them. They both watched her as she stroked them briefly, but Bec wasn't satisfied with just that. She moved quickly forward and enveloped John's cock in her mouth, sucking it hard before turning and doing the same to Mark. The both stared at her in disbelief as she quickly sat back in her seat, indicating they should sit down too.
@@@ after I finished beating the fuck out of my friends for not really being friends, I'd haul her naked ass in the house and turn her over my lap and spank her till she couldn't sit down for a week! (Of course, knowing this chick she'd prolly be leaking all over and want to fuck;) @@@
"I don't care Bec, you've changed, you're fucking crazy and I don't know you anymore. Just leave. And take those two with you; I don't want anything to do with you."
@@@ gotta say I agree with him there, 100%!! ...and she isn't going to have a very good reputation about this tine tomorrow, it'll spread like wildfire, so prolly just as well that she is going to be fucking her brother, lol! @@@
Through the whole cab ride home, Bec teased both guys, stroking their cocks in the back seat, knowing they had no underwear on. They might have said no in the wake of the spa incident, but neither was willing to ask her to stop playing with his cock in the back of the cab.
@@@ pathetic excuses for friends, I couldnt live with myself as a friend and let his chick pull that. Not even if I told her no now and she wanted to later after they were broken up. Not even a one-off. @@@
He knew that he should stop her. There was no way she should be sucking her brother's cock. But it felt so amazing that he couldn't bring himself to do it. He just watched her mouth working on him and when she glanced up at him with her mouth full of his cock, he grinned; and came.
@@@ should stop her? ...but jacking you off is ok? Lol. Wheres the magic line at anyway? Hell, she's family, might as well have hauled your ass to the bedroom and fucked you from the start! ;) @@@
Then she rang Mark and John, inviting each of them over tomorrow afternoon, telling them that that was when she was going to fuck them and they were going to help her fulfil a fantasy. She was relieved when neither of them said no. But there was one thing that she'd decided she needed to do before she fulfilled that fantasy.
@@@ chick is flat letting her slut out, damn. No way I would agree to hook up with some chick with other guys involved, fantasy or not, fuck that! I dont share and I sure as fuck dont want my dick where some other guy has recently been or will be! @@@
"We're going to have sex Matt. I want my brother's enormous cock inside me. I've been dreaming about it ever since I saw it and I want it now." Matt was already stiff and hearing her say this so confidently did nothing to assuage the tension in his penis.
@@@ well then you better suck me off first sis because I want to last for a while and theres no way I will now since you have me so wired up! @@@
Well for chapter one Im happy with brother and sister together, just disgusted with the unnecessary slut-o-rama that is going on with her otherwise! Off to read chapter two! Dont know how its savable though.
I rated this higher than it deserves, really. Its a good start to a loving brother/sister affair, but you really dirty'd it up. Just as bad as if you'd shit in your own corn flakes. The three guys in the hot tub Could be written off as the alcohol combined with her arousal plus guilt over her feelings for her brother. But. Her other escapades are just sluttish and almost aimed at hurting her brother badly. You've ruined a good story, seemingly on purpose. Why would you self destruct this way? If you're going to become a total wanker, do it on your own time and don't waste that of your readers. By reading other comments I can see that I'm not the only less-than-pleased reader.
The story was going nicely until you turned the sister into a skanky white trash slut hoe. I quit reading the story in the hot tub scene. The only good thing was her loser no pussy eating dweeb boyfriend bouncung her ass out the door.
Gawd, cant believe I wasted so much time reading the story only to have it go to total shit.
Let me give you a picture of how disgusted I am:
You know that feeling you get when your about to hurl? Lets amplify that...picture this, your looking out your window and a great dane stops in your yard and has this pained look on his face like he ate some bad mexican food in the trash out behind the resturant. He squats his haunches down and squeezes out a huge, steaming load of really mushy, wet crap. As soon as he walks off some kid runs up smiling, takes the clear plastic crazy-straw out of his empty drinking glass and squats down, inserts it in the steaming poo and starts sucking, you can see the steaming brown vileness curling up through the straw as the concave shape of his cheeks lessen and his mouth slowly fills up. He swollows and licks his lips and goes back for another drink.
Is you stomach churning? Was it painful to read? Good, thats how I felt! :)
Sloppy and I believe very little time or thought went into this
You have written so much better
Stories like this will ruin your credibility
it was a good story until she turned into a slut. It wasn't taboo anymore which lost its edge because she would fuck anything with an appendage sticking out.
I was a bit dismayed at the inclusion of the two guys who fucked Bec after she fucked her brother, but having read the full chapter and wanked accordingly, I feel like these dudes were necessary in order for the author to coax out out Bec's inner slut which was necessary for us all to get what we want: some good brother/sister fucking and sucking action. I completely enjoyed it and I'm eager for the rest.
As for everyone else, the other guys spoiled this brother sister story for me. Actually, for me, even the boyfriend got in the way. I then skipped all the passages with other guys, until I got back to Matt again. The sex with all the other guys just made her a slut, so, in the end, there was nothing special about the sex with her brother.
Pity ...
It was a good story until the other guys came in and started fucking her. Lost most of my interest when you made her to a slut. But other than that it was good. Agree with anon before the one below this.
The story was going good until you brought in those other idiots to fuck Bec..it lost its luster after that
How did Matt take a leak if he can't touch his dick? And young guys can not always control when they will cum plus there are sperm in precum and we are supposed to believe she can keep from getting pregnant when she is screwing all those guys?
I have read several stories and series of stories of this author. Some are excellent. Some no so. But consistantly I get the impression that no one proofreads the stories. Characters showing up where they're not needed. Characters who are missnamed. Grammer and spelling error galore. Too many characters. Misuse of personal pronouns (making it darn difficult to know who is being referred to) This particular story is not as bad as some of hers are.in these areas but they are darn annoying and distract from the story. They're like roadbumps that break the flow of the story.
Now those critical points are not the whole story. Overall the stories are very good. This particular one is a little weak but many of the others are downright great. Generally they are well plotted and the stories develop nicely with more eroticism added and the increases in plot. I also ,unlike many of those who wrote comments about this story, have a preference for longer stories. I like plot development over quickies. She needs an editor and then her stories would be even better and while don't know if there is a real mainstream outlet for these type stories I think some of these could almost be in line for creating an income.
Good story until it's utterly ruined by the addition of all the people banging bec.
Very xciting story but it should have stopped before the 2 other guys fucked her.It should have stopped after agood fuck with her brother.However I can understand Josh's feelings when he saw that the girl he loved was bhaving like a whore before his friends.
Great story but it kept buggin me that not even one condom was used I mean come on.. but really good otherwise (:
At that first bath, how did Matt undress and dress himself? Having his sister do it would have added a lot of tittilation to the story.
Not much more to add. It started out good but you ruined the story by adding all the other characters and making bec out to be a total slut.
Ethersalad - write your own story, why don't you? Geez!
It *was* a tad long but it was a good read. Didn't like the sudden descent into sluttiness but at least we were spared the usual potty-mouthing, so thanks for that as well.
Write some more. It'd be worth reading :-)
good story but it was a bit too long, should have ended at page 3 and kept the other 2 pages as another story.
Should have kept it as just her brother and b/f and got the names right, as a couple of times the names were mixed up, but it was very well written.
the story was nice and cool... but then it was ruined when bec became a total slut... i like it when girls are innocent ;)
I agree with touchthehiney. The story started out good then went downhill big time. I thought when all these other characters were added and Bec suddenly becomes a giant slut who has to fuck them all ruined the story completely.
It should have just been a story between Bec and Matt. There was no need to make Bec like that.
first 2 or 3 pages were great but then it just got unreadable. should have just stuck to her and the brother. felt cluttered.
One of the best I have ever read so far to date .... I wish I was matt ...lol.. real I do
In short... Matt respects her, Josh is an egotistical pig, John and Mark are douchebag pigs that are very unlikely to ever have other male friends breaking guys code like that (you don't "mow other guys lawn", especially mates lol), and George is a wannabe rapist pig...
No means NO, at least where I come from... Total buzzkill scenes.
Oh well it's your story and I'm just a reader. :) Hope next part is better for me, thanks for sharing anyhow, very wellwritten at least. :)
Directed to it, the subject didn't particularly interest and the characters were young but wow, you soon grabbed my attention. Plausible and nice developing of the relationship.
We have often discussed couples that could be brothers and sisters etc that shift to another area and live together.
Does it happen and does it happen successfully?
Your tale suggests it could happen
Love to read more from you.
Have always fantasied about this..
Reading it is just as good,
Give me more.