All Comments on 'Brotherly Love Ch. 02 of 03'

Your writing style leaves a lot to be desired. The unimportant flashbacks detract and confuse the fucking story. 1*

All I can say is what the fuck? I called her a cheater after ch. 1 but I was mistaken. Jeez what a thing to have to live with. Now waiting for the conclusion.

And well worth the writing and the reading.

Sorry but these constant flashbacks and the changing fonts (Italics) really throw off the reader. There may be a story here but I lost interest in trying to wade through it.

Too looong. Could have been told in 5 pages. Too ENGLISH . Your previous story set in Florida,much easier location to understand. Too broken up with too many flashbacks .

They slow the story down. After third one no help to our understanding your charecters. We got it already!

BBL what are you ? A masochist . This story is done. I just hope the author knows it.lol

AMerryMan

Here's a crazy idea: State YOUR opinion and let others state THEIR opinion AND NOTHING ELSE!

<P>

A far more apt definition of a troll is an asshole who can't stand people having a different opinion from theirs, e.g., YOU!

If you go to my fanfare listing the third chapter has posted. My fault for the delays, I am still learning to use the resources of this site.

As for other criticisms of my experimental writing style for this story, I explain my reasoning in commentaries following chp 3.

I feel like the author is trying to sound too intelligent. Just write the story. Why would you include words in an erotica story that very few people know the meaning of?

I tried, but I can't read this story with all the italics. There is NO need for italics they annoy me so much I only read half of it.

There is also no need to telegraph the next passage a "flashback", having the date of when it happened is enough.

The story is ok . Thanks for sharing.

I hope so.

you put to much effort into the British theme.

i think the emphasis on that, has distracted you.

not your finest hour ...

i still love your work :)

can only give it 4 stars though.

xxxhugsxxx

Too many flashbacks not needed, the lesbian couple who add nothing really and a weird lead is just a bit much..... 3****

No disrespect intended but flashbacks dominate this story, i like depth and detail to characters but this is to much for me. Good luck.

So disjointed and uninteresting. Can’t see any need or interest in next chapter. Seek an editor and take lessons.

Still waiting to see where this is going.

"Fragile male ego". I am just SO in love with this term. If a man can't suck it up then just tell him he has a fragile male ego. Real men suck it up. End of the argument.

Why not confront her when first suspected.

jtwheels

I'd piss on his grave.

The child would never know.

So confusing and poorly written.