Cabin Crew

Tracy and I had sex that night for the first time since the cabin. It was different from any time ever before. It wasn't loving sex but it was good sex.

That was a few months ago. We still see Jon and Sam every so often and they seem to be doing well. Sam's hair has started to grow back to normal and she let the dye-job go but she is a different woman from then.

We never heard anything from Jerry, Mike, or Kent. Sam said she filed divorce papers and that Jerry hadn't contested but had come and cleaned all his stuff out of the house. He was still paying the mortgage. I never asked about him again. When Jon's friend came over and found the entertainment system was 'clean' I had him put in a basic security surveillance system just for peace of mind. I also went out and bought a hand gun and applied for a concealed weapon permit. Just in case.

I checked out the third-party program we had used. There were a lot of thank-yous and some very interesting responses I shared with the others. The most disturbing thing was the e-mail that had gone to Tim.Jefferson@redplanetmail.com had come back undeliverable. I never told Sam about that one.

I never did hear what happened at the cabin after we left. None of us knew, or if we did we weren't saying. I think Jon and Sam knew something. She dropped a few vague hints dropped here and there. It occurred to me that Jon probably was able to break into Jerry's e-mail. If I was reading her correctly it almost would have been worth staying to watch. But I never asked. I liked to be able to fantasize about all the things that could have been done to the five of them.

Tracy and I are still together for now. It's not the same but it's liveable. If we are going to stay together we will have to start over again and I'm not ready to commit to that yet but I'm also not ready to quit on the whole thing. I don't know if I can love her like I did again. We do need to get on with our lives.

We've talked about the cabin incident a few times. She has no desire to ever see Jerry again. I showed her some of the videos including the original of Sam and me. I did betray her. She repaid me in spades but she was drugged out. She says she still loves me and wants to go back to where we were before the cabin.

I want to too, but I don't know if I can. I am still sorting out my feelings. I still remember the thrill I had the first time I saw Jerry fuck her and I hate that I like it. It especially bothers me when I fantasize about it during sex with Tracy. I'm still trying to figure that out. So far I resisted the occasional desire to watch the tape of that.

That's where things stand now. I am thinking about getting some therapy, but in the meantime just writing it all down has helped. If something more happens maybe I will write it down.

Or maybe I won't.