All Comments on 'Call Me Charlotte Ch. 04'

Good pace and good detail.

please continue ASAP

The Peter situation really ruined it for me. And so did the lesbian turn in it.

You didn't. Move the story forward at all.

this trash went nowhere

gave you a single star only because i havent been able to find the minuses

There is a complete fucking disconnect between chapters 4 & 5 and then you went haywire on every aspect of a coherent story. For a story that began with Emma the virgin, in a flash you reinvented her to become Emma the slut. Get your act together, you are way better than this crap!

Damn you had such a great story; but like a runaway train, you jumped of the track.

This started out as a great story. But you started out portraying Emma as a cold hearted cock tease rather than any kind of a sensous potential lover. And then between two of the chapters you totally screwed the time- line to start with, made her (Emma) both masturbate with her stepbrother knowingly, then to be cruel to him, and then wanted to portray the 'discovery' scene' where she has a three-some with her ex- boyfriend (that she just threw over and screamed at cruelly) and his mother. As a culmination of her fantasy of being with charlotte. You need to get your story straightened out and re- post it and you need to make Emma's character make SOME kind of sense. Right now your story has great elements, but it is all jumbled up. Your chapters are all out of order or you could have made most of Chapter 4 a prologue and interspersed other elements of '4' into the end of the story. Sort of a 'meanwhile, back at the ranch' effect. And you have to start at the very beginning with Emma's character as confused rather than bitchy and mean. As it is I cannot buy Emma in ch4 as sexually desirable for anyone in the whole story. As it is she is a bitch with a case on charlotte and a budding love for her stepbrother who would probably love to be intimate with charlotte's son except that she percieves him to be in the way of her desire. All messed up. It doesn't flow, it confuses the reader.

was good starting out but got side tracked trying add others in to the story and sounds like the time line got messed up hope more is cumming and it doesnt involve mom doing all his friends it will be good keep up the good work

Arrrgggg. where is part 5?

C’mon now, don’t stop now.....more please...

Although written 12+ years ago, this series could continue for another 3-4 chapters. A couple of subplots exist. However, the author would have to really work at seamlessly merging the plots.