All Comments on 'Captured Ch. 03'

thank you soooo much for writing this story, I really enjoyed this. Hopefully like you said there will be a spin off and I hope it will be just as good as this one.

You know I loved this story when I read it. I just think you rushed the ending too much. What you have above is a great outline for an awesome ending. I think you should have not been in too much of a hurry to finish it though.

A few things I would comment on are the effective way you explained what happened to her by having Frank enlighten Adam as to why he hurt her. I was a little unsure why Frank would want Adam out since he was one of his best. Dominic wasn't that good so it doesn't make sense he'd want to keep him over Adam. I get he'd have to take Rachael from the equation without Adam knowing it was him...or he'd run away with her/want to kill Frank for hurting her.

I liked the use of Matt to save her...that was perfect. Another guy like Adam who does bad things but has good in him underneath. Wish we knew what happened to him. I do think it was a little unreal that her mom would be ok with him seeing her. In her eyes this was her daughter's abductor and if she loved him...it was b/c she was abused into it.

It was great to have him strike a deal so they could be together. I do wish we knew how old Ryder is and if he's actually Adam's. It was so sweet that they have a little girl too.

It was a bit unrealistic that the death penalties would have been carried out on those two bozos...that never happens though it couldn't have happened to two better guys :) I think it was perfect too for them to have the apt to get away to.

Overall, I loved the way you tied things up on all the different counts. Keep up the writing. Thanks for the story!

I feel like I've stepped into the twilight zone or something. Is there a missing chapter somewhere? Where did Adam leave her? How did she get stabbed? Why was she asking him if he hurt some girls? how does chapter 2 flow into chapter 3 and make any sense?

She is stabbed at the end of chapter 2 by the man who is her first "customer". She was taken when Frank was talking to Adam out of the room in the waiting area, Frank had lured Adam out so that someone could grab her and bring her to dominick. And she was asking him just because they were talking about him possibly getting caught and going to jail, she didn't want to turn him in but she doesn't really know about his past at the house or even outside of the house for that matter. I hope that helped somewhat, sorry for the confusion. I am writing another, smaller chapter that goes into detail about why Frank and Dominick took her and why they wanted Adam gone. -loved4eternity

I was confused too. The end of chapter 2 (at least as far as my computer shows) is (shown in brackets below):

[Rachael stood up and took her seat next to Adam. She went to go wipe off her finger but he stopped her.

"Lick it."

She stared straight at him and seductively sucked the girl's juices off her finger.

"Am I allowed to wipe my face?"

"Yeah go ahead." He said in a distant voice. "So did you enjoy that slut?"

"It wasn't as bad as I thought but I would rather not have to do it again. I would rather give you the pleasure sir."

"Trust me you will later."]

Going from that to the beginning of chapter three felt disjointed to me also - like there was something missing. I thought perhaps it was intentional and would be explained in some kind of flashback at first, but still didn't really feel like I understood what had happened by the end.

this is one of the best stories i have read. it is exactly what i like kidnapping, reluctance and then love please can you do another one

I loved this so much. especially the ending. well done. :)

I read all three chapters. It seems there is a missing chapter or at the very least several paragraphs between chapters 2 and 3. I even went back and checked if I missed something. And you need an editor, missing words, wrong words, and confusing sentences. Like I said could have been a much better story, but still a good read.

I agree that this could have been more drawn out. At the end of chapter 2, when I saw you stopped the series at 3, I was thinking "Chapter 3 must be like 5 pages long". But it was only two! You gave an overview more so on the last chapter, rather than a descriptive hour-to-hour like the first chapter. I know it must be exhausting writing a great story like this and sometimes you dash for the finish line before you run out of steam. I appreciate that. I really do appreciate the quality of this storyline. It is different from anything else on this site that I have seen. At the end of the day, you kept me reading and engaged. Definitely see about an editor--- I had to re-read sentences several times before I could figure out what you had intended to write, like I was de-coding. I definitely want to read more of your work so keep it up (no pun intended).

I felt like sayig that from chapter 1. the plot was moving tooo damn quickly

Loved the story. But I feel there is a chapter missing between the end of chapter toe and the beginning of chapter three. That it a big chunk of the sorry accidentally got left out.

I def feel like chapter three was a big disconnected from the story. At first I though is was just writing style, like when a major scene happens with out an explanation. But then as the story unfolds there are flash backs to show what happened. But that did not really happen. I feel it was rushed at the end. For the most part good story.