All Comments on 'Carrie's Sexy New Neighbor'

This is a good start, but there are a lot of punctuation errors and the like that take away from the story. For example, it should be: "Carrie, it's David. Are you home?" Also, numbers should be spelled out (six feet tall, twenty minutes, etc.). But the basis is good, and I like both characters, so I hope you continue.

This might develop into something, but the author needs to find a decent editor. This was full of mistakes that make it hard to read.

Oh, yeah, here come the cries of 'grammar Nazi' - hell, I don't care, I just want to point out a problem.

I hope you continue this story. It was a good begining that could be a really nice story.

This is a cliffhanger, I'm grinding my nails to the bone! Also, try not to use commas as much and don't use run-on sentences. Try to find an editor, because your story line is much better than others I've seen on this site. :)