All Comments on 'Chad and Blaine Ch. 04'

I just reread from the beginning. The story is lacking continuity and is rather confusing. It is first presented in a high school type of setting with younger characters, yet later it's college and they are around 19 (with Chad saying he had a teacher through years). Blaine states he's only been there a couple weeks because his mother got a job transfer when asked and privately he's hesitant to get involved because of an ex-boyfriend who beat him up (not tortured in his list of stated injuries). The story insinuates he's new to America and knows no one yet later the policewoman who helped him is close enough to be investigating the ex.

If he's an adult and in college, with a homophobic father who beats on him and a mother who is absent, why in the world would he move with them to another country and/or remain living with the father? Eight weeks later Chad discovers the whip scars made by the ex who evidently is local and that Katie knows because he is the twin brother of one of her partners. The ex calls the homophobic father that threw Blaine out after beating him and the father volunteers Blaine's phone number and info about him living with Chad? And she can't find out where the ex is through her partner to give the info to the police?

You have the them doing a few things, then in the next segment, have them doing it again as if it's the first time and freaking Blaine out as well as sightly painful. The story has potential, but the information presented is contradictory. Fix them and it would flow in a much more coherent fashion.

First I want to say it was great to work with Baby, I believe she really has a lot of talent and will only get better with time. We are working on the continuity issues of the story. The boys are still in high school. Baby is from the UK and schools are different there so we are working on making it little American (which I am). We both really appreciate the feedback and will work harder in the future to clear up any confusion. Please feel free to send feedback to either one of us, it can only make the stories that much better.

Hi, everyone, I just wanted to say thank you to all the readers and for the anonymous comment here is the explanation,

Blaine has been through a traumatic experience, the reason for his experience was explained in the previous chapters. Blaine is torn between his feelings, he wants to be with Chad but he is scared, I mean if you went through what Blaine went through you would be too right?

And as for the sex, if somebody is a victim of a sexual assult they all react differntly at different times. The same could be said about abuse victims, it's not always easy for them to leave their abusers especially if it is longterm.

The age problem is our fault me and my editor are fixing this, please be patient and the new copy should be up soon. Thank you.

For any author writing is not easy but I like the theme of this story and maybe because I am in Australia and understand the different schooling systems better between different countries... anyway there is never an easy way to write about abuse and how one recovers from it, especially a child growing up around it as it is obvious Blaine has done with neglect from another parent.. but in regards to Dean and Katie knowing his twin that I think does need to be clarified as I agree that Katie being there with the police officer would have told her if Nick new where his brother was, and I would assume want to deal with his abusive twin brother too.. god I know I would and more for what he did to Blaine...

Love the story though and can't wait to read more.

First of all, I want to say that while I love the story, it is really, really confusing. There is no continuity. To start out they were in high school, then college, then back to high school. Second, if Blaine is British, why doesn’t anyone make a big deal over his accent?

Third, Blaine’s mother is important enough to get transferred from the UK to America for a big job promotion, but she’s married to some greasy-haired yard worker and never spends time with her son? Fourth, Katie is hanging around Dean’s twin, Nick, and recognizes the scars on Blaine’s chest, and then Dean turns into a rapist and stranger.

Fifth, Chad escorts Blaine to an art class but doesn’t know he draws? Sixth, Chad has already told Blaine about all his ex’s but then Blaine doesn’t want to know about them. And finally, the size of Chad’s cock changed from the footjob to after his birthday party, and it was like Blaine had never seen it before.

But aside from all that, which is exasperating as hell, the story is hot. Do you ever plan to finish it?

i think its bad the parents let kids fuck all over the house. that place must be covered in spunk. plus ilove you in almost every sentence is getting a little over powering and boring.

I have read the other comments and I agree. The writing is good and some of the story is hot and enjoyable. The inconsistencies however are very very distracting. There are the major ones that have already been mentioned but the atory is laced with them. This chapter had Chad dropping Blaine off at Michael's to pick him up at 4. Then he goes home at 1 and Blaine is there - how??? Not too long after, they go to bed - middle of afternoon??? Not boys is ill ate too much on emotions and thoughts.

I hope you can fix these errors in your writing. Thank you for sharing with us.

i was liking the story so much! and then you rewrote Blaine's background! how did Blaine just move from Britain and leave the big bad ex there but all of a sudden, the ex's identical twin is Chad's aunt's boyfriend and the ex is there to get Blaine back. and!, the cop who rescued Blaine from the ex is now sitting in Chad's house?! this was so good until you started throwing odds and ends together. :-(