All Comments on 'Choices: Revisited'

Glad to see you continue this great story.

what a great find I can't wait to read what happens next

besides all thats wrong morally and what-not, I couldnt get into Ch5 and I just couldnt get into this Chapter/NewStory either...

Its one thing to do something considered widely as taboo and in some places illegal, but to traumatize, what? 3? 4? people? and even inflict possible fatal injury's upon someone, oh and lets not forget the crowning achievement, CHILD ABUSE (described in a previous chapter of BROKEN BONES and more), and still want to have a relationship with said person?

I just cannot get over that single aspect. Maybe if he hadn't taken Brandon as a child to the hotel and berated and BEATEN him (CHILD ABUSE), and do basically the same with their mother, I could forgive/understand it... That however, simply isn't how the "Story" you wrote is presented.

It must be a female thing is all I can think of, wanting to cling to those that birthed you, otherwise here is a rundown of the situation as it stands:

He (her father) mentally and physically abused her brother and their mother, attempted to kill her brother and might as well have her girl/friend, and was verbally abusive to her, and her entire family.

If you have made it this far instead of "rage" deleting my Anon post, please note author that I just re-read the entire series again from the beginning and I cannot help but get the sense that something changed between ch3-4 and finally ch4-5 where you settled on where you wanted to go. If the previous chapters matched the tone you have set with the new arc of the story and last chapter of the previous arc, I could be bothered to login and vote for you, but as it stands, I am lazy(+fat), and I dont vote AT ALL for storys I cant rate at least a 4.

To the Anon, i won't rage delete that post. It was critical, but it was detailed and explained what the problems were. I don't delete posts that do that, as i want the constructive feedback.

As for the way the story went, it couldn't go any other way, i am sorry the revelation about what Brandon went through turned you off, i can tell you that that part of the story is over.

To all others, thanks for the kind words. Chap 2 is being edited, i will put it up as soon as that is finished.

Best wishes,

"Us"

Its your story it did go where you wanted it to go...

I am just glad you understand that since the Epilogue in Chapter 5 and now this new story, every time you talk about her interaction with her father and her wanting to have a relationship with her father even after the CHILD ABUSE of HER LOVER, its VERY unrealistic...

If my mother or father beat and/or mentally abused one of my brothers or sisters while they where growing up, even if I hadn't had a "special" relationship with my siblings, I would excommunicate him post-haste, to WANT to keep a relationship like that is just a mental issue I would gladly not develop.

I'm so so glad your doing more! I hope they have more kids! And I hope we get lots of stories from you with these characters!!

Aww man,really?! Go home bitch and don't answer the fucking phone! Wah, I'm so lonely so let me go have dinner with my ex who wants to fuck me and get back together with me! Go home and call your fucking husband and wife and tell them what happened and what you just did! Grrrr.....

I hope she doesn't do anything stupid

P L E A S E proofread prior to submission, and do so S L O W L Y to help reduce your errors. And LEARN the difference between "then" and "than", using the web to find the definitions and when each should be used. Although I can't say I remember your use these, but this comment may others, words sounding the same, but spelled different and having different meanings" know and no, knew and new, here and hear, threw and through (and some use throw and through incorrectly), breath and breathe (not sounding the same but used interchangeably and incorrectly). their and there. Suggestion: While writing your story, open a Thesaurus/Dictionary and pull it up anytime you have a question about a word to see if you are using the correct spelling or proper word for that application. As well as using a word processing program that has a built-in spell-check function. Don't be too proud to think doing so would reflect negatively on yourself. On the contrary, it takes a mature person to acknowledge that there is much to be learned and making use any reasonable aide to improve their proficiency and quality proves such.

Also, in one paragraph, you switched back and forth between Kim and Monica. I caught it reading rapidly, a slow read would have definitely caught it. At the end of the first segment in this chapter, you used "are" twice in a row, the first was suppose to be "we". Again, a slow proofread would have caught this. (As I did when proofing this and found I had omitted the "l" in slow and typed two "m"s in omitted.)

But my major complaint is your refusal to slowly proofread.