by 40yrman
I was enjoying the story line, but damn, it just ended. Not to mention, not well written at all.
As commented, very confused use of names. Introduced as Geri, then becomes Dani, with Husbands name Gerri, who then becomes Pete. I started to wonder if another couple had joined them.
how'd this get approved for publish? I've had stories rejected for improper use of punctuation in quotes! good premise but sloppy writing.
how many people are in the story, with all the names changes thought there were about 6.
I know...I wrote this for a couple, used their real names to help get them off. When I sublitted it, I changed the names (obviously forgetting to do all of them). Surprised the editors didnt catch it.
I trust that part II will be better.
I thought nothing got rejected in here. I have read some stuff that was so horridly written that I refused to finish it. I have seen 3 sets of quotes in a single sentence. I have seen tense changes from past to present back to past in the same sentence. I have seen writers go from first person to third person and back again in a single sentence. A few name screw ups is pretty good.