by nextcenturyromeo
Whomever voted this a "hot" story should never be allowed to vote on this site again, get an editor also try a couple of rewrites before you hit the submit button.
i didn't think it was too bad. it does needs some work but the overall idea of the story was hot.
Everyone has different fantasies and different writing style preferences. I liked this story and thought it was a hot concept. I wish there were more like it.
But the execution is let down by poor grammar that reminds me of the "two wild and crazy guys" sketches on SNL, and practically every cliche in erotic fiction.