by Loose_by_name
The premise is not bad, but the writing and imagination is lacking structure. IT could be a bit more vivid and imaginitive.
...get it right or say nothing. Your point is valid, but commas are THINGS, not A THING.
Very emotional - very real. Your writing illustrates a world that few people will understand, let alone inhabit. If the unworthy are barred entry by a perceived lack of gramma and structure, so be it; I will not miss them.
K
and just remember that speaking the truth is far more courageous than insulting someone, afterall they had to read your work to insult it, says more about them .
Hang in there, girl. People like you and I are not everyone's cuppa, but we can have fun without them. I've always wondered about the people who say a story is useless because the grammar is not perfect--form is everything and function is nothing. I did not think it was possible to be that shallow, I stand corrected. Your stories don't sparkle, so what? Being entertained is fun but what I like more is the glimpses I get into an authors mind.
some what sick some what good not sure that is why I only marked it as 50
I hope this is not only a fantasy... I enjoyed reading it a lot and even though I'm a grammar freak, I didn't notice the errors until I read the other comments because I was identifying with the story so much. I'm proud of being a sick puppy and if other people don't like it, then don't read the story! Watersports are great and Australians are great at it, we've proven it in the Olympics :-P
Great story!! I believed you must live this, and I want very much to be your Daddy!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Watersports I can handle, cutting off her flaps and kissing the blood.....you belong in a white jacket and padded room! Sicko.