Darkness at the Edge of a Dream

Steve had caused me to spend time in jail, so it was only fitting that I arrange the same thing for him.

So when I met my cellmate's boyfriend at the motel I already knew what I wanted. I had him grab a couple of his friends and rob the Seven/Eleven that was about three miles away from the one that Steve had just been fired from. The cool thing about it was that I was in the store while they did it. They took the money from the cash register and from all of the store's customers except me of course.

They waved a gun around in front of the terrified clerk. The key thing to the plan though, was that they referred to one of the guys as, "Steve," during the robbery. As they left the store, the fake Steve actually said, "That'll teach them to fire me."

As they left the store they all went their separate ways. An hour later they met up across town at the motel to divide the spoils and get their reward.

I had never taken on more than one man at a time before, but it didn't matter. I was so amped up at the thought of Steve going to jail that I barely felt anything they did to me. I started out by sucking off all three of them one at a time. By the time I had the third guy about to cum, the first guy was hard again, and he jammed his dick into my pussy and started fucking me doggy style while I finished off his friend.

Although the three of them were rough with me, I'd had lots of rough sex over the years, so it really didn't matter. It also didn't matter because I really wasn't in the room mentally. While they abused my body, I prayed for forgiveness for my sinful acts. But I had realized from the beginning that it would be necessary. Throughout the bible there were stories of believers who had to break the commandments to do God's will.

Shit, when the Israelites took down Jericho, they killed every man, woman and child in the city with the exception of the one woman who helped them and her family. All I was doing was letting a few men fuck me.

I was also paying for my sin at the same time. The pain I felt when one of them forced his dick into my ass was penance for what I had done. I just let them do whatever they wanted. It only went to show what kind of men they were and how unworthy they were of a good woman. They hammered away at my pussy. There was no tenderness in them. They also fucked my ass and it hurt, but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt when I saw that whore sitting in my husband's lap. As the three of them all finished up by jacking off over me and spraying their sperm on me and then pissing on me, I concentrated on my anger at that fucking picnic when that whore wrapped her long legs around Buck's waist and just started kissing him.

Each and every one of those kisses burned itself into my memory, painfully. That bitch was hitting below the belt and she would pay for it. There is a big difference between what I had done and what she was doing. I had gone out to have purely recreational sex with unattached men. It was only a physical act and it meant nothing. The men were simply living dildos to me. Like these guys they were a means to an end.

But that bitch was practically fornicating with a married man in public. Her gentle little kisses were specifically aimed to take over my husband's heart and inflame his body.

What I did with the men I was with was called "fucking," and it didn't mean a thing. It was a purely physical act. I used it as a warm up for the real thing. This bitch, if I didn't stop her would try to set up some kind of emotional bond with my husband. She would take over his heart, his mind, and all of his emotions, maybe even his soul. Buck was no one's soulmate except mine and I would never give him up. But Steve was the worst threat and he'd been around longer, so I had to take care of him first.

As they left the motel room, all of the men were at least as drained as I was. But I could tell they were happy. Why shouldn't they have been? They all had pockets full of money and they'd just gotten to use a woman in ways they'd only dreamed of.

"Hey, baby, any time you want to do this again, count me in," said one of them.

"I'll give you a call in a week or two," I said. "And next time you won't even have to do the robbery first."

I had already decided that I needed to continue to do good works so The Lord could see that I was a proper vessel of his will. One of the ways that I could do that was by being charitable. If the bitch who was trying to steal my husband liked fucking so much, maybe I could arrange for her to get fucked. These men had enjoyed fucking me. So maybe they'd enjoy fucking her too. But first I really needed to take care of Steve.

Things didn't take very long to come to a head. I went by the house the very next day. I often watched them leaving the house in the morning. It was ironic. Steve had watched me and used the information he found out about me to end my marriage by giving Buck a totally one sided view of what I did. Now I was watching him the same way. It seemed funny to me that he never suspected that someone might use his tactics against him. He seemed so happy normally, but this time I could see that he was a little out of it. I guess he was still stinging from getting fired.

He left the house and drove over to see his fat little girl friend with the huge tits. Only an utter moron could fail to see what that woman would be like in a few years. By sending Steve to jail, I was doing him a favor. Once he put a baby into that girl, her stomach would stick out as far as those tits did. She'd become one of those typical suburban shrews with a shitty attitude that would make everyone wonder why he married her. In the long run, he'd be happier in jail remembering her while she was younger and prettier.

The best moment of my day came later. I knew where he was going so I didn't have to actually follow him, and get caught. That is get caught IF he could pull his head out of his ass enough to notice that I was there.

Steve was reporting to college for his first day. The thrill of the new experience had put a spring back into his step, or maybe it was the few moments he had spent with trailer trash Barbie. He got out of his car, a Mustang that Buck had obviously bought for him, and headed books in hand inside the main building.

It didn't take very long. I had barely been watching for an hour when he stormed back out of the school, threw his books in the back seat so violently that the car rocked on its springs, and drove off. It just showed that Steve wasn't really a mature adult. The look on his face told me that he was almost ready to cry. He deserved this. He deserved to have his dreams fall apart and have his life torn from him, the way mine had been. As he drove away, I was laughing so hard it was a wonder he didn't hear me.

I figured that before the end of the day even those small town, Barney Fife cops would have found Steve and taken him away to jail. I was so happy. And taking Steve down had been so easy that I decided to make the next one last longer so it would be more satisfying. I went to the store, ironically the same Seven/Eleven that Steve had been fired from. I picked out several magazines. As I stepped up to the counter, I was surprised that the person who rung up my purchases was Steve's plump little girlfriend. I smiled at her and she scanned my face. Although I didn't know it at the time, she was smarter than I gave her credit for. She had recognized me and as soon as I left the store she spoke to the manager.

I went back to my motel room and cut lots of pieces out of the magazine. I used those individual letters to put together a letter to my rival. I thought I was being clever. I had learned in jail that hand written letters can be identified by the writer's handwriting. E-mail can be tracked. So I put together a letter by using pieces cut from various magazines. The letter was short and sweet. I stuck it an envelope and drove over to MHC to have it delivered. I looked around and finally approached one of the men making a delivery there. Delivery guys are always looking for a tip when they can get one.

I have the guy ten bucks to slip my warning letter under the door to her office. I smiled when I thought about the reaction my letter would bring. "Dear Abby," it began in a mishmash of colored squares and alphabet pieces. The opening salutation was made of small squares. The next and final sentence was constructed from the biggest letters I could find. It gave the impression of anger or shouting, like when you used all caps in an E-mail.

"YOU'RE NEXT BITCH!"

I was sure she got my message. I went back to my motel room to watch the news on the crappy little TV that was in the room. I was sure that by now the police would have Steve in custody. I wanted to see him being taken away in handcuffs. Maybe I'd call Buck and express my sorrow over the way that Steve had turned out.

I guess, "jubilant," would be the best word to describe the way I felt as I got out of the cheap rental car and walked towards my sleazy motel room. With all of the bible verses running through my head I should probably have remembered that pride goeth before a fall.

It was almost déjà vue as I unlocked the door to the room and felt someone clock me over the head and throw me inside the room. When my senses came back I was on the floor with Steve standing over me and he didn't look happy.

"You just couldn't let me be happy, could you, Mother?" he said. His voice sounded so much like Buck's that it was really hard to believe that he wasn't Buck's son.

"Brenda recognized you when you bought the magazines this morning," he said. "She didn't know who you were, but she remembered you talking to Mr. McQueen and trying to get me fired from the Seven/Eleven. Then today I got un-admitted to school. We figured that you had something to do with that too. I wondered who you were and why you could hate me so much. You were the only person I could think of who hated me except for Cletus. I showed Brenda some pictures of you that Dad still had around the house. That confirmed who you were." I watched in terror as he reached into his jacket.

"I was going to call the police," he continued. "I mean you are a convicted criminal who was harassing me. I figured you could just go back to jail. But then you pissed me off, Mother. I called Abby. Besides being my future mother in law and the strongest maternal figure I've ever had in my life, she's my therapist. Abby was laughing her ass off about that letter you sent her. It only proved how stupid you are, Mother."

I wondered what he was talking about.

"Mother you're a convicted criminal," he laughed. "They have your finger prints on file. Today they can get prints off of almost anything ... even paper! So when Abby called the police and gave them your note, a lot of things fell into place."

He pulled out his phone and dialed three digits. "Hi this is Steve Rogers," he said into the phone. "Can you send a car over to the Shady Rest motel? The woman you're looking for is here ... No she's not going anywhere. Not if she knows what's good for her."

Then he hung up the phone.

"Steve, we've never been close, but we can change that," I whined. "I'm your mother. You have to let me go." I got up and moved towards him and the door behind him. He reached out as I came near him. At first I thought that he was reaching for my breasts.

He put both hands on my chest and pushed me hard, knocking me down. "Sit your old ass down," he said. "You aren't going anywhere."

I fell heavily on my ass. I was shocked. "Were you my mother, when you tried to get me fired from my job?" he asked. "Were you my mother when you got me kicked out of school? And mother they caught one of the guys who robbed the Seven/Eleven for you. For a lighter sentence, he spilled his guts. They have all three of them and since robbing the store was your idea and you were on the premises during the robbery, you're going to do hard time."

"Steven, everyone deserves a second chance," I said. "If you let me go, you can tell them that I hit you and got away. You won't ever see me again. I swear I'll disappear and never bother you again. Please Steve!"

"You already had more chances than most people ever dream of," he said. "You got married. Most women wouldn't have cheated on their husbands, but you did. You even got pregnant doing it. Once you discovered you were pregnant, you could have come clean and just told him. You lied to him for five years until I had to go to school. When the DNA thing came up you had another chance to come clean. You took the easy way out and ruined my life. Did you ever think about the pain you put Dad through? What about the way you ruined my life?" He shook his head.

"But even with all of the hell you caused, you kept doing it. When I came back, instead of taking your medicine and trying to hold our family together you just went for yourself again. You ended up in jail. And as soon as you got out you tried to ruin our lives again. You aren't capable of changing, mother. Jail is probably the best place for you," he said. And in the background, I heard the mournful sound of a siren drawing ever closer.

A few moments later, several police officers came in and escorted me out. Steve gave me a snarky little wave as they pushed me into the back of a police car. Some of the officers gave him a pat on the back and others waved at him.

My court appointed lawyer turned out to be the same pudgy guy that I sent out to find me a better lawyer years before at my first case. The difference was that this time I didn't have Buck's money behind me. This time he was the only lawyer I could afford. He tried to get a deal for me and failed. I had nothing to trade and the DA had an election year coming up. There was also the fact that Steve had become a local hero of sorts. The town loved him and wanted to see me pay for what I had done twice.

I did beg him to have Buck come and visit me. Buck came about a week later and I knew that it was over. Buck had always had a fire that burned in his eyes for me. That fire was gone. He wasn't happy to see me. He wasn't even angry. He just looked bored. It was as if he was visiting a coworker in the hospital. He did it just because it was the polite thing to do. That bitch had clearly replaced me in his heart.

We didn't have much time to talk that first time. Buck had stopped by after work. The jail was closing to visitors in a couple of hours but Buck couldn't even give me that amount of time. He had to go to a rehearsal for his wedding. He was marrying that whore and Steve was marrying the little girl with the huge tits.

I begged him to come back and visit me when he had more time. I told him that I had lots of things I needed to say to him. He told me that it might be a while, but that he would try. It never happened. In fact I haven't seen Buck since then. The judge threw the book at me. For the robbery and a few nuisance charges that they threw in I got twenty five years. Even with good behavior I would be close to sixty years old when I got out.

From articles in the paper I found out that Steve was allowed to attend his classes at the college. He was offered his job back too. But Buck got him a better job at the plant. Steve is majoring in engineering like Buck did. Most of the people I know refuse to believe that Steve isn't Buck's son.

Epilogue

Steve

Most people remember their lives from the time they were seven or eight and just blur out the details after their twenties. Life seems to be an endless parade of sameness. They go to work at the same old job and do the same old things day after day. In my case though, it feels like my life was only beginning in my twenties, so each new day is special.

It's said that even here in the United States, there is somewhere between ten and twenty percent of children that don't know who their fathers really are. I know whose sperm resulted in my birth, but even more importantly, I know who my Dad is.

I know whose womb I was carried in, but even more importantly, my mom, the real one, just married my dad. I also married a woman who enflames my heart every time a I look at her. Things settled down after my mother was convicted. I married Brenda and Dad married Abby. I beat Dad for once. Brenda was pregnant four months after the wedding. It took Dad and Abby 6 months. The doctors were worried about Abby having a baby. Because at forty five, she was kind of pushing the perceived age limitations on giving birth. But my step brother was born healthy and whole. Dad named him Roy. Brenda and I named our son Fred. It really was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. We never saw my Mother again. As soon as she got out of prison she moved to a different state to start over again. I guess there's no room for darkness in our dream, anymore.

The End