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Three months later we went to the states for a months holiday, oh what a time I had there, I came back pregnant too!
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 11 years agoKeith was everything you wanted (apparently) yet Tim(othy) would kill for you....
??????
SparksWillFlyabout 11 years agoBefore dad even sat down at the table, his arrival and subsequent events were as predictable as the sun rising in the east. From there, it was formulaic forbidden sex. Aside from editing issues, you write well. You seem stuck on humiliating men. Stretch your creative side and forget for once your seemingly visceral anger towards men.
Anonymousabout 11 years agoFirst off: I always laugh my ass off at people who complain about cheating, it happens a lot more often then anyone would think. People can give into their baser urges, trying fulfilling your partners needs.
Secondly, this technically isn't incest. He's not her father in law until after they got married. This would've been better in the mature section.
Anonymousabout 11 years agoNormally, I try to let others have their opinions, but after several of these statements I had to wonder if I was reading the same story/
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This thing is filled with run-on sentences and horrible punctuation, two of the biggest hits against "well written." The last paragraph is as good an example as any.
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Three months later we went to the states for a month's holiday. Oh what a time I had there. I came back pregnant, too!
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Well written is not confined to grammar and punctuation. Plot-wise, it was too obvious who Walter was, rendering the "twist" a "no shit, Sherlock" moment.
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No, I don't expect professional level writing, but this was barely grade school level writing.
debbie2freeabout 11 years agoI feel bad for Tim or Timothy or Keith whomever he is .First off his "loving wife" I'm betting not first time cheating for as long as she fucked FIL
