All Comments on 'Dear Diary,'

This is a good story but needs some rework to make it really good. A father who gives his daughter to his friend and then fucks her himself should not be rude afterwards. It does not sound right at all.

Please try to change the story a bit and also make some editing and the story will be great.

Good luck in your future endeavors.

Prince Charming

I really liked the story line. I can understand his confusion at the end. Being torn between wanting his daughter to be a good girl and wanting to fuck her. Can I suggest using the literotica editors. They really help to clean up a story and make them flow so much easier. When I wrote my stories I rewrote them probably three to four times each so that they flowed better and all my spelling mistakes and continuity errors were fixed. I've gotta say though that I really like where this story is going and am looking forward to reading more.

I could see her dad fucking her mouth and her pussy but nkot his friend that part i would kill my friend if he did that to my daughter in fact i did lick my daughters pussy and i fucked it to2F26

Yeah, not a dad. :(. What Dad would let his friends, and I use that word loosely, fuck his little girl?! Hell, what Dad would let ANY guy bang his daughter?! I'd happily fuck my girl (if I had one, lol) if she wanted me, but no way in hell am I sharing her with anyone, wether In there or not!

And what kind of douchebag throws her off after happily fucking g her and calls her a whore, especially when it was all his doing? She just needs to go in his room later with a sharp knife and castrate the fucker!

No, she needs to go to her room, call the cops and tell them her dad and drunk poker buddies just raped her. Watch the fuckers all get hauled off to jail in handcuffs. Go in and let them do a rapekit on you and test your blood-alcohol level, then let them fill out the report. Doesn't matter if you went along with it, though you won't say that, because your dad whored you out for his debt while you were drunk and, to them, passed out. The dude shoved his fingers in a drunk, passed out girl, without her consent.

'The guy started fucking me and I was too afraid to try and stop them, afraid he might hurt me. Then dad pulled his penis out and started humping my mouth, I could barely breathe! When they were both done, both came in me, dad threw me on the floor, called me a whore, told me to go to my room and never tell anyone about it! I locked the door, jammed a chair under the doorknob and called 911. What will I tell Mom?!'

Go home knowing as long as mom believes you over him, that as long as you keep living there, he will never be allowed in the house again! Yay! Serves the asshole right!! He should have been a good boy and just fucked you like you asked him to!! :)

I feel like this is a good story... but there needs to be more. It's a great start to a story but, I feel it's incomplete. It's too quick to the peak of the story and has way to much of a rapid decline to the resolution. My advice would to be rewrite it. Add some more. Go over it and post it to see more constructive comments. It's the only way to become a better writer 😁