All Comments on 'Dear Dirty Diary Ch. 02'

An improvement over your first story. The action with Louise is rather more frenetic that I can easily follow. Slow down the action by using shorter paragraphs and separated dislogue. Build suspense and tell us what you are feeling and thinking. I think you came in there somewhere but it didn't really standout.

You could still use an editor, but the action sounds very hot and has a certain verisimile (I think that means it sounds like a true experience, but no dictionary handy). I hope you will continue to improve your craft and share more discoveries. If this was your first bisexual experience, tell us how you felt the next day.

Reminds me of the old Reese's Peanut Butter Cups commercial.

"You've got peanut butter in my pussy!"

"Well, you've left pussy in my peanut butter!"

Mmmmmm...

Two great tastes, that taste great together.

The whorewife is here, where is the cuck tag?