Defiance Ch. 15

"We all seem to be cursed of late." Lukas said as he knelt down until he was sat opposite his beloved. "I've missed you."

To his surprise Tate let out a muffled cry. It sounded so utterly heartbroken that Lukas immediately reached out to him and was surprised when his hand was roughly knocked away.

"It's a lie Lukas. What you think you feel isn't real.' He raised his eyes and looked at the tinker with his exquisite golden eyes. "None of it was real. I had thought-" He trailed off hopelessly. "If I could have chosen anyone it would have been you, but you never chose me. You had no choice."

Lukas tried to grasp what Tate was trying to say to him but the words made no sense. "What could be a lie?" he asked softly.

Tate wrapped his arms around his waist and seemed to shrink into himself. "The way you feel for me, the love you say you have for me. It isn't you." He bit his bottom lip so hard that a drop of blood fell onto the ice and snow. "It would make sense. It would explain why after everything I've done to you and your people you would still come after me."

"Tate, I don't understand what you mean." Lukas said, his tone lost as he struggled to understand what his beloved was trying to tell him.

The half-blood reached for him suddenly, his hold hard and sure. His voice was little more than a whisper as he pressed his face close to Lukas's. It was so hard for the tinker not to close the small space between them and press his lips against Tate's sweet lips. "I saw the prophet, the one they have hidden in the tower." The small mans golden eyes looked fevered as he released a biter laugh. "He told me that he and I share a kinship of sorts."

"You-You're a prophet?"

Tate seemed to deflate all of a sudden. He pressed his head into Lukas's shoulder and let out a shuddered breath. "No, not a prophet. I'm something else." He remained pressed into Lukas's shoulder for several long moments before abruptly pushing away. "The prophet called it a gift but it isn't a gift at all. It's a terrible and ugly curse. I attract people Lukas and though that attraction I somehow ensnare them, and then when I reject them it becomes too much and their feelings are twisted until-" He trailed off abruptly and released a heart-retching sob. "They become insane like Christian, or obsessed like Tanis, or..." his eyes travelled slowly over Lukas. "Or they become like you Lukas. They give up everything and everyone they ever loved just to be with me. Do you see now, do you understand how it's my entire fault?"

It did make sense, in some respects as least. It explained his odd parentage, it explained why so many people became obsessed with him, be it love or hate. It explained why Lukas would give up his brother and risk his entire family for a man who had never once declared any real love for him. It would explain why Lukas was now risking his own life to come into the very pit that had ordered the death or enslavement of his people. It was so neat, such a very tidy answer. And yet he didn't believe it. Perhaps it was the curse compelling him to act like a love struck fool but as far as he was concerned he loved Tate and the love he felt was pure and true and he would not allow magic to sully that love. "It's not a lie." He said through gritted teeth.

"No?" Tate asked, half sobbing and half laughing the word. "And how can you be sure?"

"I can't." Lukas said truthfully. "I can't make you believe me and I can't explain how I know that my feelings are my own. They just are. I love you. My heart has been empty since I lost you and it's only now that it feels like its mending again. Magic can't make me feel this way. It could make me obsessed like the prince and Richard, for I've seen how he stares at you, it could make me obsessed like Tanis or even my brother, but it cannot make me love you the way I do. Magic can't force love Tate"

Tate stiffened suddenly and his entire face drained of colour. He shook his head in wordless denial but his next words filled Lukas with hope. "I have to go. When will we meet again?"

"The wedding night." Lukas said immediately. "We're going to make our escape then."

"What?" Tate gasped at him. "You can't think I'm coming with you? I've already told you I can't"

"I do and you are. We are going south with the others. If we move fast enough we can escape him. He can't follow us forever."

"Are you mad?" Tate shook his head violently. "You know I can't go!"

Lukas caught his beloved by his upper arms and pulled him close. He regretted the way it made Tate cringe but Lukas refused to make himself gentle. "I'm never losing you again! I can't. And if you fight me on this Tate it will mean that all of my plans will unravel. Will you endanger Rose?"

"Will you?" Tate hissed as he pulled back. "He isn't going to let me go."

"Neither am I!" Lukas snarled.

They stood staring at one another for a long moment before the halfling wrapped his arms tightly around himself. "I do not want to stay here with him." He whispered. He looked up at Lukas in clear pain. "But how can I go with you if it means all your lives?"

"It will make things harder Tate, there is no point pretending it will not. All I can do is promise you that I am prepared this time. I will not whisk you away in the night and run blindly. I have taken precautions." He reached out and placed his hand on Tate's shoulder. "I found you again, I fooled the northerners into thinking I was one of them. Don't you think I'm capable of saving us?"

"Alright." Tate whispered, his eyes fixed on the floor. "Alright, we're going to attempt this." He looked up with sudden determination. "We're leaving this Gods awful place. All of us."

"Believe it." Lukas said before bending down and pressing a kiss on his Shantran's furrowed brow. "In four days we meet back here at sundown. Understand?"

"This is madness." Tate whispered, his voice wavering slightly.

The tinker reached out and gently caught hold of the Halfling's chin. "I'll see you soon."

*** Tate turned the small silver coin over in his hand. Back and forth, the description of Christian's father on one side and the engraving of a dragon's head on the other. Back and forth, back and forth...

He could not stop thinking about Robert and his part in the unfortunate man's death. In his last moments Robert had been surrounded by people he hated, people that had affectively ruined his life when he had done nothing to warrant it. It was such a cruel and unjust ending.

He should have told Lukas. The words had been on the tip of his tongue but he had been unable to utter them. God's help him, he was such a coward.

Three more days he thought. Three more days before they attempted an insane escape, three more days before they were probably all killed. He knew their chances of success were so much better without him. Lukas and Rose could get away, they could be free.

And he would be left alone with Christian, at least until Richard finally went through with his threats.

He heard the patio door slam open and the laughter that followed. He didn't bother to turn around.

"Out here again?" Christian asked, his words slightly slurred from too much wine. "What have you been doing Tate? Nothing useful I'll wager."

"Shall I fetch wine?" Tate asked as he tried to ease around Christian and his small party of friends. The prince reached out and snagged his upper arm. "We have servants for that Tate. Come sit with us for a while. We're celebrating my approaching wedding."

What choice did he have? Tate sat stiffly opposite Christian and tried to ignore the prince's friends. One of them, a lad names Arterous stared at him almost constantly. Tate remembered the boy quite well even though he had not seen him for many years. The lordling had been pitifully young at the time, no more than sixteen or seventeen summers old when he tried to win Tate's favour. The halfling had declined but the boy was spoiled and used to getting his own way. Tate remembered that he had become flustered and irritated and had eventually stopped the boy in the only manner he knew how. He humiliated him. In front of the hall and the boys own father Tate had began to mock and poke. He was good at it by then and knew how to invoke anger without it leading to a blood duel. Although he couldn't remember exactly what he had said he was aware that he had thoroughly humiliated the youth.

But he wasn't a child anymore. Standing at his full height he would have stood head and shoulders above Tate. He was a renowned warrior and a brilliant strategist. An all together dangerous enemy. Tate avoided his gaze but he could feel the other mans smug contentment and it sent a flash of anger through him. He smothered it quickly and kept his head bowed but Christian seemed to have picked up on Tate's discomfort.

"Do you know my squire, Arterous?" Christian asked before letting out an abrupt bark of laughter. "Ah, of course you do. How stupid of me to have forgotten that you were the one who told me about him in the first place." The prince turned back to Tate with a grin. "If memory serves he had quite a thing for you."

"How nice for him." Tate mumbled, looking away.

He saw Christian's expression darken. A stressed silence passed before he released a biting laugh. "You'll have to forgive Tate. He experienced a death recently and it seems to have rattled his senses." He motioned a guard over and whispered in the man's ear before leaning back and grinning at the smaller man. "Come sit here Tate, between Arterous and myself."

Tate went rigid for a moment before forcing himself to sit down between the two men. Christian threw an arm around his shoulder but otherwise continued the conversation like he wasn't there.

Everyone seemed to jump when they heard a piercing scream from inside the prince's inner chambers. Tate felt himself gaping as he tried to comprehend what he was hearing. "Tate!" Rose suddenly howled before another scream pierced the otherwise silence. When Tate tried to get up he was pushed back down by a smiling Christian.

"What are you doing?" he cried, bewildered and panicked and desperate to get to her.

Christian's smile faded slightly. "You don't seem to respond when I hurt you so I've decided every time you talk back to me I'm going to hurt it. Maybe then you'll learn when to bite your tongue."

"She's just a little girl." Tate whispered, appalled. Another scream, louder than before. "God's, I'm sorry Christian. Please, I'm so sorry." The other men around the room started laughing, having clearly figured out the new game. Tate felt sick. "Please, I'm begging you." He fell to his knees and caught Christian's trousers in desperation. "I understand! I won't do it again. I swear!"

Christian watched him intently, his expression unreadable. He gestured with his hand and another guard disappeared from the room. "There, I've stopped it."

"Can I go to-"

"No." Christian cut in sharply. "Just sit down and shut up."

Three more days, Tate told himself. He could hear Roses sobs in the other room and felt his stomach heave. Three more days.

*** Tanis found himself in his Christian's chambers, standing beside his four younger brothers in silence. He could not recall the last time they had all been together. Danium, the youngest of them all had a pinched and worried expression on his boyish features. He had been given to the temple when he was four and not spent any time since out of the clustered walls. The twins, Matthias and Unum stood close together, their expression's serious and cold. They had not yet come of age and were still training under Christian's army. Innium, third in line for the throne, was more of a scholar than a warrior. He had not yet attained his first blood and there were rumours that he might not ever do so. If that turned out to be true Tanis was fairly sure that Christian would arrange an accident to befall their scholarly brother.

Christian entered the room and swept his gave over them coolly. He didn't greet any of his brothers and seemed unhappy to have them all in close proximity to him. "I am pleased you could all stay for the wedding. I obviously have not had chance to speak to you since father's funeral so I wanted to let you know how pleased I am to see you."

He looked anything but pleased, Tanis thought sourly. Movement caught his eyes and he found himself looking at Tate, who though bruised and limping looked achingly beautiful. Tanis had not had any contact with the older man since his disastrous attempt to kiss him. He felt his heart ache knowing he was so close but so unattainable.

"Am I boring you?" Christian asked, his voice disturbingly close. Tanis jumped despite himself and jerked his gaze back to his brother.

"Is that the halfling?" Innium asked, stepping out of line as he advanced on a startled looking Tate. "I've never seen anyone of mixed blood before." He said, speaking over his shoulder. He turned back to Tate and crouched down slightly, even though they were of a height. "You look frightened." Innium said gently. "There isn't any need to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you." When he reached out his hand Tate jerked back with such force that his head knocked into the wall at his back with a painful sounding thud.

"Don't touch me." He snarled, with such venom that Innium actually stumbled back. His eyes widened suddenly and he looked fearfully at Christian. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

Christian waved his apology away with a smile. "Why don't you go into your room Tate?"

The older man gave a quick bob of his head before virtually sprinting to his tiny little bedroom. He hadn't as much as spared Tanis a glance.

"I didn't mean to frighten him." Innium said, somewhat sulkily.

"Never fear Innium, Tate scares easily. It's his weak mixed blood I fear." He drew his brother close and gave him a fond smile. "'I'm told you're attempting your first blood soon?" He asked conversationally, which surprised Tanis considerably.

The brothers all fell into a discussion but it was clear that the only two people that looked at all comfortable were Christian and Innium. It was odd to see the amount of effort his older brother was using to make Innium feel at ease.

"Would you like to stay here at the palace for a time Innium?" Christian asked, surprising everyone but no one more that Tanis. As long as he had been old enough to control such things Christian had always made sure that only himself and his heir were together in the palace. Their eldest brother feared being overthrown and took definite measures to ensure such things never happened.

And suddenly it struck him. Of course Christian would want Innium in the palace. Scholarly and unbloodied Innium who was so clearly not a threat.

Tanis had been correct. An accident would be arranged, but it would not be for Innium.

*** "Why are you so damned jumpy?" Christian demanded of Tate as the smaller man helped him dress. "I'm the one that has to get bloody well married in a few hours."

"Sorry." Tate mumbled as he tried to relax the fierce beating of his heart. He needed to calm down or he was going to reveal himself to Christian. He took a deep breath and reached down to adjust the prince's rumpled shirt.

"Gods only know why I have to wear so many damned layers. I can barely move." Tate sensed eyes on him and felt his stomach cramp. "I'm in need of some relief." He abruptly announced as he stepped down off his small stool and pushed Tate towards a table. "Bend over, quickly now."

Tate stumbled as he was pushed forward. He debated arguing with the prince but he knew the younger man would react dangerously to any denial. Tate tried to remind himself that this would be the last time he would ever have to yield to Christian, yet knowing that didn't make sprawling himself across the table any easier.

All of his clothes were stripped off him. He noticed somewhat absently that Christian had merely undone his trouser buttons and was about to fuck him in his marriage robes. Tate felt another ripple of pity for Christian's intended wife.

The halfling released a sharp breath when Christian pushed into him. The younger man was clearly in a rush and had spared no time in preparing Tate or allowing him to adjust. "You might be worried that I'll forget you when I'm married." Christian grunted in his ear. "I promise you I won't. We'll carry on like we always have. Phatilia and I do not need to share a room. I only need to sleep with her until she bears me some sons. After that it will just be us." The speed of his thrusts increased until Tate was almost taken of his feet. He groaned in pain, which Christian seemed to mistake for lust. "Everything is falling into place Tate. We'll be together, forever."

A few more pounding thrusts and Tate felt Christian's release. The younger man pulled out quickly and tucked himself away. His smile was warm. "It has come quickly. Today I'll be married and soon I'll be crowned king. It seems that the prophet is a liar. They are known for it."

Tate felt himself stiffen at the mention of the prophet but it appeared Christian was merely speaking to himself. He lifted himself off the table and slowly pulled his clothes on. Christian watched him intently, his eyes hungry and possessive.

"I love you." He announced with sudden passion. "I know it is wrong for one man to love another and yet I do. I love you so deeply that it consumes me at times. I know that I sometimes...hurt you. But it doesn't lessen my feelings for you. I love you Tate and I intend to make your life a happy one."

They stared at one another in silence for a long time.

"I know you do." Tate eventually said in a wooden voice. They continued to stare at one another in strained silence. "You need to go Christian. It is traditional for the bridegroom to arrive at the ceremony first and you do not want to disappoint your new bride." Christian's eyes remained locked on his. "I will be here waiting for you on your return." Tate forced himself to smile and Christian's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Is something wrong?"

The halfling flinched as the prince rushed him. He expected to be struck but instead Christian's hand locked around Tate's upper arm and he dragged the smaller man to the tiny room he shared with Rose. He was thrust inside and before he could protest he heard the door slam shut behind him. "Wha-what are you doing?" Tate suddenly cried. He tried the door and found it unsurprisingly locked. "Christian, what are you doing?"

"You hate me." Came the reply on the other side of the door. There was a pause and a loud and resounding thud. "You HATE me!"

"I don't." Tate said quickly, soothingly. "Christian, please let me out. I haven't eaten or drank anything yet today."

"Good." The prince snapped. "Perhaps a few days of hunger will show you how well you're really treated. Besides, I like knowing where you'll be waiting for me when I've finished filling the cow with my seed."

"Christian please!" Tate yelled in sudden desperation. This can't be happening, he thought as he threw all of his weight into the door. It barely shook. "Christian, let me out."

There was no response. He had already left and now Tate was alone in a locked room with no way to reach Lukas or there promised meeting point. "Stupid!" Tate hissed at himself as he threw himself at the door again. "So stupid!" He should have just proclaimed his love for Christian. It was clearly what the prince had wanted. Why did he have to be so damned stupid?

Hours passed and Tate was sure that evening would soon be approaching. Rose would already be on her way to meet them.

Lukas would believe that Tate had decided not to go with them. He would think that Tate had chosen to stay with Christian. Tate felt tears well in his eyes and brushed them away with angry frustration. God's, why was he so damned stupid.