by Jack_Samuel
This is a wonderful story. It is not just a dirty story, it is truly erotic literature. Great Job!
I wish my first time was like that. LOL Very well written, and just love the point of view you told it from. Fantastic! Thank you for the great read!
The point of view was on the money. Good luck in the contest!
This was some really bad writing. It's so artsy-fartsy, so sweet, I had to inject insulin.<p>It could have been helped, perhaps, by a good editor. Examples:<p> Deflorestation - I mean, right there in the title, you can't even grasp the word 'defloration,' the typical word used when a young woman is deflowered.<p> civilianisation - I mean, come on! Is it so hard to use spell check?<p>Her lips mashed against his quickly cutting off his words. - They mashed against his quickly? What is a quickly? Do I have one on my body?<p>There game of naming strains of trees continued. - "There" game? Maybe you'd have used "their" if you knew the difference.<p>Abbey's skilled hand had down its work. - All I can figure is you meant "done" rather than "down."<p>I rated you so lowly because you seem to take yourself so damned seriously. You need an editor who will help you learn how English is actually written.
I thought this was a good story with a lot of steamy sex. There were some spelling errors but not enough to make this a bad story.
Made me smile. That's all I can ask of it. Where were these women when I was young, hot, and horny? In fact, where are they now, even though I'm old and horny?
Good luck in the contest.
DG
Very nice read. Love story revisited! Editing and spelling aside,one of the best stories I have read here over three years. Thank you.
Very nice read. Love story revisited! Editing and spelling aside,one of the best stories I have read here over three years. Thank you.
such a beautiful story, My favorite story, the most special first time story ever, wish mine was as lovely as that.
Great work - and great idea about tuning old mines into national parks!!!
amazing story, All the best in the contest.
this piece would benefit with the help of an editor. Good luck in the contest.
Other than a few glitches, a well written story. Good use of dialogue and character development. Luck to you in the contest.
maybe even excessively so, but I enjoyed it anyhow. As some have said, though, it could have used better proofreading and editing. Good luck in the contest.
Romantic the kinda story I like to read when I'm missing my guy :-)its easy to see myself in the story :-) good luck in the contest
Thanks for one of the sweetest love stories I've read in a long time. Lots of smiles, warm feelings, memories, and hopes for their future.