All Comments on 'Demons to Slay'

Thank you, sir, for a very entertaining interlude. Your story seemed to have everything- from joy to pathos, abstenence to sex, all well told.

I, of course, wanted a happy ending, but you wrote it well and poignantly. Good job.

This is beautifully written. I very much enjoyed the dialogue and humor. The timing and sequences as well as the character development are believable. I'm unaccustomed to reading tragic endings on this site, but your prose makes this worth re-reading.

It was great, but I suffer for the lack of a happy ending, reality waits outside for me, I hope to find a little bit of happy in here.

Jerry in Washington State, USA - Your story is very well written and made me care about the characters, but the sad ending was too much of a bummer for me. For my own piece of mind, I wrote an epilogue ending to the story for my own needs. In my epilogue, Greg and Angela become a romantic couple within a year later - after her husband dies of a sudden, unexpected heart attack. Although Angela is a bit older, they both admit to their feelings for each other after Greg spends time consoling her over her husband's death. They spend many years together - loving and pleasing each other.

The story overall was fantastic. Dialogue flowed well and was believable while the characters stayed true to their form as their relationship developed.

The ending however, was jarring. There is no real reason to end on the note that it did, as the dynamic of the story was previous difficulties the characters had and overcoming them to find happiness again.

To me it felt like you threw the ending in to evoke tears and emotion from your readers, yet... I nearly laughed. I am all for feeling an emotional connection to characters, it is what drives me to read anything, however I can't help but feel a tad bit insulted when it seems forced like it was here.

Otherwise I thoroughly enjoyed the story , and thank you for the time you invested to write it.

Arrrgghh... I think I'm like many readers here on Literotica who want a happy ending. We're here to escape the unsatisfying or less-than-ideal aspects of our daily lives. I have truly enjoyed most of your stories and I really liked this one until the end. Two lost souls finally finding each other. But then you abruptly ended their romance in senseless tragedy. Please don't do that again. I'm truly sorry for whatever you're going through that compelled you to write that ending. But, know your audience. We want the fairytale (or at least something that bodes well for future happiness). I respect you as an author, but I don't like the emotional rollercoaster you subjected us readers to in this story. Had it been a happy ending you'd have easily scored a [H]. But now I'm just too disappointed to give it any rating at all.

I loved it. One hand on one breast, the other hand above the vulva, sleeping in bed. Very erotic. I don't have a problem with *reading* (as opposed to actually experiencing) about tragedies.. it is a symbol of how important deceased people were and continue to be significant. Nonetheless, in my humble opinion, it is probably better to know in advance that there is a tragedy, even if we don't know what shape or form it is in.. Thanks for the read, and keep on writing! =)

You need to realise that romance stories require a happy ending - try reading some of the books on writing that will explain this.

You also need to read some books on English writing. Lose a lot of the 'thats' in your writing, they are unnecessary. Only proper nouns require capitalisation. Read your dialogue out loud, it sounds unrealistic. You could write well but I suggest finding a good editor.

Your writing has a genuine quality about it but the ending didn't fit well with the remainder and in addition seemed rushed. If you wanted a tragic ending, it would have helped to include the same level of detail in the tragedy as you put into the romance. That aside, it was a good effort.

I really like your romances, and this one was just cruising along nicely.....until. Sorry, but the ending just ruined the whole story for me. I realize that shit happens, but I enjoy these stories for the fantasy of an ideal life, at times. This just threw that in the crapper in a big way. A little warning would have been nice, I suppose.

However, thanks for your efforts. I do enjoy most all of your stuff.

DC

Very good story. Ending seemed too abrupt, but otherwise good.

I really enjoyed this, right up till the last four paragraphs. I saw nothing in the title, the description, or the first part of the story that hinted it might end in the death of a major character.

As a writer, you of course are free to create whatever plots you want. But as a reader, I want enough hints of major changes in direction that I can choose to not read stories that I know will upset me.

I believe that you lied to me by putting that ending in without warning.

A. Good story until the end. It sucked.

You made me very sad with the ending.But i guess that's life 4 you.

Strong and credible story that has been well crafted. Very enjoyable read, even if some of the linking passages and ending were slightly over egged and predictably engineered for effect, but it was a goodly effect!

The endind was bad!

You could have saved time and just killed him off in the car.

Apparently a lot of people felt they were robbed by the tragic ending to a very interesting story!

Enjoyed EVERY paragraph…

It should be noted, the Ending while sad was realistic…

Knew a recently passed lifelong friend that experienced a similar series of relationships and NEVER recovered from his "Millie"…

I love your writing, but I do so wish I could have missed the ending. {{{SIGH}}} The world is filled with more than enough pain, sorrow and misery on it's own without my having to read more of it. I don't regret reading the story, just was looking forward to a happy ever after ending is all.

The story is till exceptionally good - but so bitter sweet and painful especially when juxtaposed against the alternate ending you wrote later.

Just plain ouch -

Thank you for all of the work doing both -

but,

the ending was out of character.

but, it was not a romantic love story with a happy ending.

for that you need to read the alternative ending written by Kezza67

found here

https://www.literotica.com/s/demons-slain

Pathetic garbage ! As usual.

The sad ending doesn't make fucking sense. It's not like you justified her death or neither was there a poetic meaning to her death. This is story sucks .

It seemed rather rushed... sort of tacked on at the end as if the writer had tired of the story. The rest of the tale is well told and so the ending deserves a little more thought. I have no quibble with the nature of the ending, just the way it was dropped on.

This is a wonderful story; I've read it three or four times. But why couldn't you have ended it on a happy note? Why in the world did Millie have to fall and break her neck? I agree that not every story ends happily in the real world, but when you're writing fiction and setting so many scenes with beautiful surroundings and lovers obviously happy just to be with each other, what do you think you could gain by killing off the heroine before she could become a happy homemaker, sharing a vine covered cottage with her adoring husband? This story begins on a sour note and builds to a peak of love and happiness; why kill that ascending spirit with such a tragic ending? If we're looking for tragedy, all we have to do is turn on a news broadcast. Can't we count on romantic fiction to lighten our mood, and send us out to face that scary world with a confident smile?

I think the reason many of us read Lit is to escape from the mundane, the depressing, the tragedies of every day life. I respect this author very much and loved the Abby and Mist stories - both of which did contain sad happenings - but this ending was like the proverbial turd dropped into the punch bowl.

I really enjoy your writing (the only word to describe Abby is Splendid!). Thank you very much. However, a jack is a flag flown from the jackstaff of a vessel. The Sunset Ceremony concludes with the lowering of the Union Flag from its flagstaff.

I like stories, like yours, that bring two emotionally damaged people together. I also like happily ever after endings. I enjoyed reading your story until the end. If there was a option less than “1”, I would have picked it. Bummer!

Jesus that leaves you gutted.

It's a great story, but the ending just tore me up. My compliments on a very well written story.

To arouse such feelings amongst your readers shows how successful you have been in engaging the emotions of your audience. It was well written with finely defined characters. The ending came as a shock but shit happens and the is well within his rights to select the one he thinks most apposite. 5*s

With the last three paragraphs this story went from a 5 to a 1. I don't expect a happy ending every time but I do expect more than three very short paragraphs dealing with her death, the aftermath, and the rest of his life - they feel tacked on.