All Comments on 'Denial Ch. 11'

A fantastic plot. Would love to read more of this Story

They should have just removed his cock and balls. He is a sissy cunt anyway. Great story

yeah.. very hot... but.. wow.. no1 else feel sorry for the guy .. lol ... its almost sad he ended up like that.

well, jsut finished the story now, took a while with all those bathroom brakes....fantastic story.. but dont we all like a happy ending ??

Not great ...so far fetched its ridiculous ....

I've read this whole story and recall a daughter in the family, how the hell can this all happen with the girl? Doesn't make sense.

im very disappointed that someone would do this to their husband. I kept waiting for him to leave her like he should have so many times and he could have got her in so much trouble legally that none of those papers he signed would have stood up in a court of law. Yeah what did happen to the daughter? This story is ridiculous and i only finished reading it to find out how he got out of this situation but sadly the poor guy suffered. This story has turned me off bdsm type stuff completely..

Its ashame you seemed to abandoned this story so long ago. You left it wide open for more chapters.

He's other a sub or he isn't. He couldn't have willingly gone this far just to please his wife.

...most resentful is that tramp continuing to claim she loved me.

This is not a BDSM lifestyle. I live one.

This is torture both mental and physical. No "slave" or submissive would live through this. And I know quite a number who are very committed to their lives.

This is just fictional bullshit. 1 star because I cannot rate it a 0.

why would anyone put up with this shit i do hope the writer has the decency to get him out of this misery and he gets to get revegne on the women this is horrible

The start of the series was good, but it started to turn VERY BAD at the end. I was totally rooting that he would man up and either kill them or run away. I was screaming "RUN FRANKLYN" But it never happened. To have someone do all this willingly is sick. Bad form Peter, bad form.

And one of the few long ones I stuck with to the end. The first few chapters were so realistic and well written that I thought this was a true story, however in Chap 6, at the group meeting, things started to get very far-fetched.

BTW, a daughter was mentioned early on. The later part of the story would be impossible with a child in the house.

I realize this is fiction but do you not wonder about the mental makeup of a person who writes this???

Thank God this is fiction. It makes me wonder about the authors sanity. So no worries here. At least this garbage keeps the next mass murderer occupied writing shit like this. But since this is fiction, here's a fictional response. Does murder suicide come to mind? Only he lets Max live out her days paralyzed from the neck down. Maybe someone will add a chapter 12 burning the bitches. One can only hope.

So when do you figure he simply would have cut the cage off and dumped her? About the second sentence in this dumb tale? If they're lucky he only dumps them without sending them to the hospital. What a couple of witches.

The tale is a fantasy posted on a fantasy website. Why then are there so many comments complaining that it is not more like real life? I thought the early chapters were both original and enticing. True, the later chapters were too predictable and drawn out - but at least the author strived to bring the story to a self consistent conclusion. Overall, a good enjoyable effort.

If readers cannot suspend their disbelief to appreciate the fantasy element, they should move to a different story (or site) rather than read on and complain further.

Get a sharp knife and cut her up into little pieces and feed them to the dog. That works. And the locked cage? Get a clue - he removes it, without a key. in no time at all. Find a more realistic plot contrivance than this crap.

You couldn't have made this any worse if you had TRIED to make it bad. And it was - BAD! Horrible plotline. Not a single original thing in it. Nothing clever or entertaining. And the key? You should learn more about your subject matter. Cages can be removed with a screwdriver and a twist. Just plain awful.

A written-out agreement between the dominant & submissive. It can be either formal or non, and is usually written after much negotiation by the dominant and the sub, outlining what structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries to the relationship are agreed upon by the two. It is not legally binding. With all the abuse he puts up with any sane man would of offed his wife and her lovers.

This story really pisses me off to think his wife would utterly destroy him like that. I hope you continue and throw in some sort of revenge because for some reason I am in the insects corner and personally would flatten out those two sorry bitches. I would love to see them get branded and whipped along with the doctor and counselor.

But the author of this piece of shit is one sick fuck. What absolute psychotic bullshit. The cunt needs to see a fucking shrink. How I wish I could reach through the fucking screen...The only salvation is for this utterly destroyed bastard to obliterate his cheating, demonic cunt of a wife and all her accomplices, then put a gun to his worthless head. Fuck this cunting story. I don't believe in the devil, but if he existed, this is exactly the sort of shit he'd preach.

After much abuse from both Maxine and her lover, something inside Franklyn snaps and he suddenly gets an idea. During the night he steals down into the kitchen where he finds just what he is looking for. A gallon container of cooking oil. He dumps the whole gallon into a pan, which he than places on the stove. He boils the oil until it is smoking.

Moving silently he makes his way to the bedroom where the two lovers are sound asleep. He pulls back the sheet and then pours the gallon of burning oil over their reclined bodies.

As he watches them convulsing in their agony he says to Maxine. " Yes mistress I am an insect, I am a FIRE ANT".

Years later after the mysterious deaths of two certain doctors, a silent figure watches as a now disfigured and partially blind Maxine painfully makes her way to a local store to buy food and a few flowers for her dead lesbian lovers grave.

In her darkness Maxine hears a voice from the past speak softly to her. " You'll be with her soon my love, I promise".

Maxine pees in her pants as she runs screaming from the store.!

Sometimes death is the kindest option.

The cage is a toy. He removes it without the key with a pair of pliers or a screwdriver in less than 30 seconds. Then he simply beat both women and told them to never talk to him again. Wow was this a stupid story.

This was a total materpiece of shit!!

How can a person have such a sadistic thinking. OK what they did to him was way too much cruel, but what abt the revenge.

I just read this piece of shit till the end to find out how the husband escapes.

There was no concept of this story. For example, they had a daughter how can a mother do such a thing to her daughter's father.

Here let me end this shit:

As Stacy left the room i felt some kind of energy in me.

I left the place at once and went to my childhood friend Steve for some help. He listened to my story very carefully and then called his lawyer. Next morning the lawyer came to his place and he was told what situation i was in, by steve.

Well steve was a millionare so money didn't bothered him.

I was like a brother to him,so didn't mind spending on me.

Lawyer said that for what he has planned he needed a dead body which has similar figure as mine.

It wasn't easy to get one but Steve somehow managed.

Now Alex(the lawyer) asked me to write a scuicide note. I was confused but then realized what he had in mind.

2 days had passed but there was not response from those bitches.

Next night we hired some trustworthy men and asked them to somehow throw the body from the roof of my house so that it ends falling on a hunting trap which would ruin the face completly. Although we already ruined the face but we needed something convincing. We were there supervising all night and they all succeded. Few minutes later Steve called 911 to let them know that a man's dead body is lying in the nearby house. He used a payphone to do so.

Within minutes police was here and the body was taken away with the letter in the dead man's pocket for police to discover. Steve had contacs in the forensic dept. so there was no trouble of them founding about our truth.

As expected the scuicide note was found which clearly stated about my situation and how i ended up in it.

Further investigation was done everyone involved in this crappy business was caught including my wife,Stacy,Dr. Gruen,Dr. Relvyl, and through them other in the counselling rooms were also caught. All of those slave were blackmailed like me in one way or another. Both the doctors liscence was cancelled and they were sent to jail for 20 years and other masters and mistresses including my wife and Stacy were sent to jail for 15 years all their slaves were now free to do anything and yes they inherited all their master's property.

I thanked Steve for his help and just said 'dnt mention'. With his help i got a new identity and work. I also had a plastic surgery to get a new look. All of my proprty was given given to charity. And i lived happily ever after.

For me the daughter was never there so i didn't mentioned her

This was a total materpiece of shit!!

How can a person have such a sadistic thinking. OK what they did to him was way too much cruel, but what abt the revenge.

I just read this piece of shit till the end to find out how the husband escapes.

There was no concept of this story. For example, they had a daughter how can a mother do such a thing to her daughter's father.

Here let me end this shit:

As Stacy left the room i felt some kind of energy in me.

I left the place at once and went to my childhood friend Steve for some help. He listened to my story very carefully and then called his lawyer. Next morning the lawyer came to his place and he was told what situation i was in, by steve.

Well steve was a millionare so money didn't bothered him.

I was like a brother to him,so didn't mind spending on me.

Lawyer said that for what he has planned he needed a dead body which has similar figure as mine.

It wasn't easy to get one but Steve somehow managed.

Now Alex(the lawyer) asked me to write a scuicide note. I was confused but then realized what he had in mind.

2 days had passed but there was not response from those bitches.

Next night we hired some trustworthy men and asked them to somehow throw the body from the roof of my house so that it ends falling on a hunting trap which would ruin the face completly. Although we already ruined the face but we needed something convincing. We were there supervising all night and they all succeded. Few minutes later Steve called 911 to let them know that a man's dead body is lying in the nearby house. He used a payphone to do so.

Within minutes police was here and the body was taken away with the letter in the dead man's pocket for police to discover. Steve had contacs in the forensic dept. so there was no trouble of them founding about our truth.

As expected the scuicide note was found which clearly stated about my situation and how i ended up in it.

Further investigation was done everyone involved in this crappy business was caught including my wife,Stacy,Dr. Gruen,Dr. Relvyl, and through them other in the counselling rooms were also caught. All of those slave were blackmailed like me in one way or another. Both the doctors liscence was cancelled and they were sent to jail for 20 years and other masters and mistresses including my wife and Stacy were sent to jail for 15 years all their slaves were now free to do anything and yes they inherited all their master's property.

I thanked Steve for his help and just said 'dnt mention'. With his help i got a new identity and work. I also had a plastic surgery to get a new look. All of my proprty was given given to charity. And i lived happily ever after.

For me the daughter was never there so i didn't mentioned her

This series is by far one of the most erotic I ever read. I just wished you finished it and we got to see Insect fisted, modified and turned into a human toilet. Don't listen to the bastards who were so negative in their comments. Hopefully some day you'll finish this, The Depths of Slavery and maybe even give us something new.

After i finished reading the entire series, i went back and rated each chapter 1 star.

Started good the first 4-5 chapters, then it went to shit.

And with a child in the story, fantasy or not, this is just sick and stupid.

The author should be tracked and locked away with thoughts like these. Supports the fact that human existence is spiraling down the toilet. Sick and has no relation to any sort of affection or love.

Absolutely the most twisted story on this site!

A damn shame you never finished. Fuck the haters. This story is one of the hottest I ever read. I would have loved to see Insect fisted and turned into a toilet slave.

Conquered,

I read your tale to the end because I wanted to give you the courtesy of a full read before submitting my comments. Unlike some of your critics, I didn't react with anger or rage at the inhumanity that your story highlighted. As a senior reader of 62, I've read just about all the possible sexual scenarios that authors can dream up so very little shocks me. No, after reading your tale I felt deep sadness that cruelty, torture and general abuse have become 'sex aids' that allow the perpetrators to get off on. I think George Carlin was spot on when he said that the human species would take itself out with not so much as a whimper. After reading your submission and the particular sexual agenda you are peddling, that might well be a deserved fate if BDSM is the 'best' way of life that we as a species can devise.

He removes the cage any time he wants to. As for the women? They found themselves outside in the gutter with only the clothes on their backs. Because who would put up with their shit? They'd be lucky if he doesn't beat them half to death before throwing them out. This has to be one of the dumbest stories ever written. Some real sick puppies.

An erotic story on an erotic site. Don't be surprised if you find it repulsive. How do you know the author wasn't writing like that on purpose to deter people from going down this path? Manipulation is real and don't think people won't take advantage of you if you go down that path. The author used his imagination to go down that path and if it doesn't benefit you then by all means vote the story down. Personally I would have found it nice if the errors were removed and if the story ended happily, but I appreciate the effort of writing and posting.

If I had been the guy in this story that damn cage would have come off either at the end of chapter two or in the middle of chapter three at the party when he found out she had lied about not having the key on her.Either way her ass would have been out on the street and none of the rest of the crap she pulled would ever have happened.

The story is as good as it gets for Femdom/Submission. I agree with Anonymous. I want more and more extreme. Thanks Conquered.

I mean way too much bullshit it's like story is not about BDSM relation but about actually slavery ( I don't know how define it exactly) its way too dark though and if guy is so much desperate to have then there are alot women out there might as divorce the wife and get it on with someone else

Why didn't you continue this story? Please continue it some day.

I found chapter one very interesting and I enjoyed it, but as the story progressed, I simply found the psychology less believable, the fantasy themes more dark and less original, and basically much less interesting as a whole. There are a ton of stories out there that offer masturbation material Identical to what this story brings to the table about midway through chapter two. I know because I’ve written some of it, but what I haven’t read or written before is found in chapter one and for me, that’s the real story; personally, I would love to reimagine the story from chapter two on as a redemption piece. But then again, I’m rather romantic In my tastes.

By far the best story I have ever read on this site, and yes a more and MORE extreme story line is called for. Well done Conquered.

I have read this several times and fine it to be the best story on this site I have ever read. Please, "Conquered" write some more Chapters to this one.

It is a great story but in the end, I was hoping he would find a way of killing her slowly and painfully while she is torturing him! She deserved it! Mad bitch!

Please keep writing!!! Please come back to write more of this

You need to keep writing this story, I must know what happens next, I love this type of Domination of someone else Especially sinces it's a husband&wife

I know it's been a while since you've written this, and I doubt that you'll receive my comments but because this story pissed me off...I felt the need to leave a written critique.

First off, you are a piss-poor writer. There is no feeling between anything done here, and the repetitious language usage makes it very hard to read and stay engaged. It's not erotic, satisfying, or decent in any way, and if you presented this to me at a critique...I would tell you to discard it and start over.

Second off, this might be one of the nastiest pieces of erotic literature I have ever read. Maxine is a vile woman, wife, and human being who has shown herself to be untrustworthy on numerous occasions. How could a master and slave relationship between her and Franklyn exist with the knowledge of her consistently horrific behavior? Why would Franklyn trust her enough to allow her to put him in uncompromising situations when he KNOWS that she'll hurt him?

Your psychology in this is entirely wrong. People have one of two reactions in a life-threatening situation: Fight or Flight. It is, therefore, unrealistic and silly to assume that Franklyn wouldn't do that with Maxine. He would (in real life), either kick the crap out of his wife or go to the police. That, for all intents and purposes, would be the normalized thing for him to do.

Now, as a writer, you can GET AROUND that idea by establishing that there is a deep-seated trust between the two participants and that they are a wild couple who are 'just playing. But, you need to be careful when doing this as, if HARD LIMITS are breached...that previous trust WILL be shattered, hence turning the overall situation into an extremely harmful one.

Yet this never happens. Franklyn doesn't try to escape his situation, fight back, etc. He merely accepts his torture while becoming completely accepting of it. Is he inhuman? Have your characters all been transported here from Mars?

How dare you present people this way? Do you know what your work reminds me of? The Sylvia Likens case. Your work makes me recall the shit that poor girl went through. It is abominable, wretched, vile, and disgusting.

Go fuck yourself, whoever you are. If you think this shit is sexy...perhaps you should be slapped around for a little while. See if you like this kind of abuse.

So, you’re only going to give it 4 Stars?

Obviously, you’re not someone to take seriously, so I won’t.

Whether or not you take my words seriously is your prerogative. I didn't put together the proceeding critique because I care about your thoughts on the matter. I wrote them because I felt the need to do so. That's what writers do. They express themselves.

What they don't do, however, is write trash to get a rise out of people, and, as you've shown by your focus star ratings...that's the main reason why this piece was created.

You're a troll, nothing more and little less. Fucking pathetic.

If you ever begin to actually care about your work, however...let me leave you with a few suggestions. First, try not to use the same individuals' names repeatedly. It's repetitious and redundant. Like a singular bell going off time and again, and while this story isn't TOO exorbitant with this practice...it's still noticeable.

Also, we (the reader) need to understand WHY this is happening. These things would not be able to occur UNLESS Franklyn found SOME enjoyment out of it. Does he get off by being put in life-threatening situations? What about his interactions with his spouse make him want to do any of this willingly?

According to your words, he doesn't get off on any of this. Instead, all he feels is shock, pain and terror. And since these emotions would lead to an individual fighting back (and this is coming not from an opinionated source but a biological one)...it is ridiculous to assume that Franklyn wouldn't.

And finally, the reason why I came back to this piece was simple: It's fascinating to read something that has no human emotion tied to it whatsoever.

You have no idea what a master-slave relationship entails or the trust that comes along with it. You're just throwing shit at a wall and hoping it will stick. Get some personal experience regarding these matters, son. Until then...I would advise you to fuck off.

Quite frankly, poor. Too long, too many typos and storyline completely unconnected to life.

In saying that, if you enjoy writing like this, carry on. We don't have to read it!

Maybe taking classes would improve your technique.

This is meant as constructive commentry, so please accept it as such and refrain from insulting me.

What ur missing in ur story is why he let's them dot his shit

Love the story. Really wish you would continue Make him eat more cum.

Love this story. A damn shame we never got to see insect fisted or turned into a full service toilet. Don't let the haters bother you.

Well, glad this has finally come to an end. I had to jump to the last chapter to see what happened and was mortified that the whole story line had lasted as long as it did. It was so gross. Pathetic excuse of writing.

The story was pretty much perfect up until the group meeting. I feel most people would run away screaming at that point. After that, it became more unbelievable, but the use of amazing sex to coerce the husband into temporary slavery was a very nice touch. The start of his actual slavery is where you lost me. You stopped giving the reader context for any of his important decisions at about the group meeting and I think that became extremely annoying when he signed his life away. I don't know why he did it, I don't really see how he got convinced. There is an infinite amount of difference between a two-week trial run and permanent fucking slavery. Still, the story could have recovered if we'd at least gotten a decent look into his emotions, but unfortunately that doesn't happen. The last few parts of the story are just a list of events, with no character work, tension, excitement, or anticipation.

In short, phenomenal idea and perfect beginning, mid middle chunk and extremely disappointing ending.