All Comments on 'Desert Rose'

Just came! you know how to please a girl, jealous!

not bad at all for a first effort.

the sex content was well described. now you need to work upon the setting and build up.

it was a good story and i "really" liked it. but i don't know if your into it but you should reverse the power control and do him anally. that would show him who's really in control. you could either do it by hand with his cock in your mouth or in the ultimate dominance role you could have a strap-on and surprise him while he's asleep if you know what i mean.

Being that it was your first, it's a good effort. There were some typos and certain sentences were redundant. As far as the characters are concerned, these are your creations and you can make them behave however you want. Good luck with your writing.

Don't worry if people don't understand how the relationship of the characters works. A light D/s relationship is somewhat difficult for many people to grasp.

The story is hot, and keeps you reading.

Of course he is a hero to some