Dirty Dawg: Big Tit Derby

"Oh you don't believe me then you can check it out for yourself at the Alameda Strip tonight."

"What?"

"Did I stutter? Your little princess shakes her ass for cash at the Alameda Strip comprende'?" She started laughing as a look of realization washed over my features.

"Ah you wish you could strip for a living fuckin' gordita." I lost my appetite and left half a plate of food for her to clean up.

3:47pm-Saturday Afternoon

The building was a modest little two story affair with an enclosed gateway and I even noticed a handyman doing some yard work as I approached the entrance. He gave me a weary look and his expression seemed to change as I got closer to the door.

"Nothing to see here brother." He waved his hand at me in a dismissive manner and I gave him the appropriate angry black man glares as I continued pass him.

"Hey, you hear me? There's no apartment for you here." He seemed a little standoffish and I was apprehensive as the roughly fiftyish year old Latin man approached me.

"You the landlord here or something?" I was ready for him but I wanted to make sure he wasn't management just in case I had to clock him. I didn't want to spend the weekend in jail.

"Look sorry, but she's crazy out of her mind." He had both arms out in front of him trying to look less threatening and I immediately figured out he was trying to deliver some sort of warning.

"What's this all about man?"

"The lady, she is a crazy fucking puta'." He kept looking over his shoulder as he talked and I followed his gaze noticing that the front door was beginning to open.

"MARIO!!" The voice was silky and sounded like someone who'd had a bourbon breakfast. I watched the color literally drain out of the guy's face as the voice spoke to him in his native language beckoning to him. He walked back to the doorway speaking to what I assumed was the land lady and stepped inside momentarily. Moments later, I heard a loud slap and he emerged from the door frame waving me over. I didn't know what to make of it but I was curious to see what he had been talking about.

I was pleasantly surprised to find an attractive older woman starring back at me through the screen door lazily smoking a cigarette.

"You are looking for an apartment I presume?" There was just something about her weathered voice that kind of hooked you in and from what I could see through the screen was somewhat inviting.

English didn't seem to be her native language and I placed her heritage as perhaps Persian of Middle Eastern in some respect. I just nodded and she pushed the somewhat rickety screen door open with her foot. Her name was Ophelia and she was quite the host taking my arm as we me toured the building. I was too much of a gentleman to ask her age but I placed her in late forties to early fifties.

She had a pretty but somewhat drawn, tired looking face with some bags under her eyes which she apparently tried to mask with heavy mascara and her short unkempt brownish hair had obviously been dyed a number of times. She had a slender build and thought nothing of the black flimsy housecoat that appeared hastily tossed on before coming out to greet me.

She showed me into the apartment a one bedroom with a large open living room, one walk-in closet and a smaller cramped looking room that could either serve as a bedroom or den. Throughout the whole tour she never stopped smoking and I found that refreshing to say the least because here in California most people were hypersensitive about that kind of thing. As Ophelia went to show me the newly installed sink in the kitchen her housecoat fell open allowing me a generous view of her large slopping breasts. She simply smiled as she pulled the sash tight around her narrow waist.

"As you can see I have quite a bit to put on the table." I chuckled nervously at her flirtatious humor.

"Oh definitely and I have to say your offer is inviting." I honestly didn't know where all of my charm was coming from as I did my best to seem worldly and sophisticated. She seemed like someone who was used to having a lot more than she currently had and I felt somewhat intimidated by that.

"Would you like something to drink?" I silently acquiesced and she produced a bottle of red wine from the apartment's refrigerator pouring me a glass.

"I sometimes entertain here when it is convenient. You don't mind do you?"

"Hey it's your apartment Ophelia." I offered no judgment as I downed my glass.

"But I want it to be yours so badly." She took my glass and leaned against the fridge allowing her robe to fall open. I took in the sumptuous sight of one of Ophelia's large sloping breasts that had a pronounced tan line and erect elongated nipple.

I couldn't help myself any longer and she watched my hand cup and knead the soft, slightly sagging breast. She moaned and allowed the other side of her robe to fall open revealing the other side of a perfect set of her majestic mature rack. Her breasts had obviously seen a little bit better days and hung somewhat low on her chest but were impressive on the narrow torso none the less. Ophelia's nipples were extremely rigid pressing into my palms as I squeezed the succulent flesh of her boobs mercilessly.

She wasted no time massaging and fondling my cock through my jeans as I pulled her slender frame closer seeking to cup her backside. I'd always found that women with overly large tits usually had nothing to show in the ass department. Again I was pleasantly surprised to find a very soft bubble butt encased in a nice set of French styled underwear. Her face was inches away from mine, but I didn't want to kiss her with that smoker's breath.

Ophelia had other ideas letting the robe fall to the floor to reveal a retired model's figure.

"I think you'll like living here." She moaned as she dropped to her knees pulling my slacks down mid-thigh.

Ophelia inhaled my cock taking its entire length in one slurp and running her lips and teeth lightly over it until I squirmed. She followed this up by running her tongue over the head of my member with a feather soft touch that soon had me trying to hump her face. She tightened her grip around the base of my cock and I found myself humping her hand with increasing intensity.

"You want to fuck me black boy?" She moaned in her signature husky voice.

"Hell yeah, I want some ma'am." She took my length deep in her throat and began humming on it sending a vibrant sensation running along my shaft.

"You sign lease?" I wasn't paying attention and she disengaged creating a web of saliva between her chin and the fat head of my cock.

"You sign lease?" Ophelia was jacking me hard as she reiterated her position.

"Oh, uh I'll definitely consider it." I saw her face frown at my answer and her grasp lightened considerable on my length. She was actually trying to use sex to get me to sign a rental agreement with her.

"Haven't I convinced you enough?"

"Let's just say that you've got my attention." Ophelia began working my meat over again giving me the mother of all sloppy blowjobs. I watched rivulets of spit and drool run onto the linoleum tile floor of that small kitchen as she took me in a sweeping motion from the front of her mouth deep in the back of her throat with increasing fervor. She cupped her soft tits letting her saliva run drip over her cleavage in a slightly disgusting manner until her torso was glistening.

Ophelia mashed her pillow soft tits around my cock and began working my shaft. I pinched and rolled her nipples as she fucked my cock roughly with her breasts.

"So, you sign lease?" She asked again just as I was about to cum all over her big banana tits.

"Yeah, keep it up baby...I'm gonna cum." She gave me a sultry smile and worked her tits harder on my turgid length.

"You pay first and last month, there is fee for cleaning and overdraft fee in case check bounce."

"Yeah whatever." I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about and didn't care as I humped her chest nearing the finish line.

"This is serious business, I don't like bounced check. It would be very bad for you to bounce check black boy." She suddenly stopped leaving my raging boner hanging in the air pointed directly at her tired looking face.

"I ain't ever bounced no rent check in my life lady."

"Good, I would hate to see accident happen to you. You have very nice cock." If I wasn't mistaken, Ophelia had just threatened me and I didn't consider myself the kind of guy you threaten. I decided to put my "nice cock" away and do the smart thing by walking away.

"What are you doing?" Her eyes were glued to my member as I pulled my slacks up around it with some difficulty.

'I'm gonna bounce lady, you seem to have the wrong idea about me."

"Wait, don't go away angry with me. I would like to do more negotiating." She tugged at my arm with a crest fallen look on her face and I couldn't help but ogle her tits while she led me to the couch.

In short, I found myself sitting on the couch humping up into Ophelia's mouth in a messy display of precum and saliva. She applied moderate pressure as she pursed her lips around my cock and hummed. It actually felt like I was fucking an extremely wet pussy as I reached down palming her soft medium sized bubble butt. I had no intention of signing a lease with this shady woman and every intention of shooting a quart of baby batter into her stomach. My right hand had cupped her right butt cheek and two of my fingers had found their way into her snatch. I began massaging the inner grooves of her dripping wet honeypot and this got a hell of a response as she picked up the pace and started sucking as hard as she could.

"Damn you feel good Ophelia." She'd forced a moan out of me with her considerable skill as the wet sounds of her oral manipulations filled the Spartan living room. I had given up the pretense of any civility as I cupped her ears and liberally fucked her mouth with abandon making her retch quite a bit. My naked lap was drenched in saliva, sweat and precum.

"Oh my gawd, you are trying to kill me with that monster!" She'd managed to disengage my member from her throat on a downward stroke and was gasping for air. I was silent and picked up the pace with a third finger stuffed into her vagina which was even now clenching up around my offending digits.

"You ready to sign lease?" She managed to get out even after a fourth finger had joined the others inside her.

"You ready to cum?" Was my response as my thumb pushed into the pliant flesh of her buttock.

"You sign lease?" She asked licking only the head of my cock which was aching for attention from her mouth. I replied with action by roughly rubbing her insides as quick and hard as I could triggering an extremely hard orgasm as she clamped down on my fingers and screamed loudly. Just the sound of her husky voice nearly caused me to cum and she took advantage of the situation to wrap her malleable sun baked tits around my cock and pump for all she was worth.

"OOOH FUCK I'm CUMMING so FUCKIN HARD!!" Thick wads up my cum began squirting upward out of the top of her cleavage splashing against her chin and throat raining down on her breasts. I am proud to say that I made a mess of Ophelia's torso and she continued working my cock with her fingers and squeezing my balls milking everything I had left to give.

Her fingers were completely covered in sticky webs of cum and I watch her lick and suck them clean smiling at me with a toothy grin afterwards.

"You get some of my pussy when you sign lease. I fuck you very hard, better than young bitch you find on the streets." Her words were tinged with a trace of bitterness but I didn't have time to figure out what her deal was as someone was suddenly banging on the front door.

"HEY OPHELIA, YOU IN THERE?!! YOU IN THERE WITH SOMEBODY YOU WHORE?!!" Someone was beating on the door like a maniac and actually shaking the nearby front room window. I panicked when I saw the huge shadow just outside of the window and looked pleadingly at her. She looked as scared as I was and grabbed my hand motioning towards the kitchen.

"YOU ARE THE BIGGEST WHORE IN WORLD!! I'M FUCKING ASHAMED OF YOU BITCH!!" The back door was locked and she'd pulled a small set of keys from the cabinet drawer fumbling with the lock while I nervously paced staring at the progress the guy was making on the front door. Whoever this gargantuan monster was, he was throwing himself into the door with such force that he was making plaster fall from the ceiling.

"You must go, we talk about lease later." She'd managed to get the back door open and I found myself staring out at a narrow paved walkway bordered on both sides by neatly trimmed grass. There was a high picket fence at the end of the walkway and a small garbage can up against it.

"HURRY, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER DOOR WILL HOLD!!" I don't know why but I was suddenly worried about her not knowing what fate had in store for the cougar when that front door burst.

"Ophelia!" I offered my hand not knowing what I would do if she took it.

"GO BLACK MAN, IT IS BROTHER!! I SUCK HIS COCK AND HE FORGETS EVERYTHING!!" I didn't have time to be shocked as the front door suddenly and spectacularly gave way and a brute of a man rushed into the apartment. My minds was slower than my body as I bolted down the short walkway and hopped the fence in a single ,motion with the help of small garbage can.

"People are so fucking weird in this city." I thought after I'd run six blocks away from the building.

6:30pm-Saturday Evening

I was passed out in my bed after my somewhat adventurous afternoon in mid-city when I was jolted awake by my ringing phone. I'd tried to ignore it but whoever was on the phone would not be denied calling repeatedly until I finally snatched my phone up in a groggy rage.

"SPEAK GOT-DAMMIT!!" There was some labored breathing on the phone and then a simple click. I figured it was probably that crazy land lady and I wasn't having any more of that nonsense.

My sleep had been troubled but not by the fate of Ophelia, but the revelation that Liz just might be a stripper. I been inundated with images of the curvy Latin bombshell in my dreams and discovered upon waking that I was sporting the mother of all boners. This was an incredible feat as I'd gotten my rocks off three times over the past twenty-four hours and with three very different women to boot! I flipped out my laptop and reviewed my little movie from the night prior.

I started to jerk one out as I repeatedly watched the footage of my explosive climax all over the hooker's huge tits but couldn't seem to finish. I guess Ophelia really had done a number on me after all.

That image manufactured by my mind of Liz as a stripper continued to be a nagging torment until I'd resolved to do something about it.

10:30pm-Saturday Night

I hoped the metro out to Long Beach Boulevard on a mission to relieve my conscious. I had to prove Conception wrong about Liz and if going to some seedy strip joint was the only way to do it, then so be it. Part of me was hoping it was true and I'd get a chance to finally check out Liz's hot body.

The strip club in question was off on a side street adjacent to an abandoned textile plant. Pretty far out of the way if you were trying to keep a double life secret I told myself. I had second thoughts as I noticed some unsavory characters milling about in front and hovered near a payphone across the street from the dive. I didn't have a problem handling myself, but I wouldn't go out of my way looking for trouble either. There seemed to be something inherently dangerous about the place and I was about to leave when a white van pulled up outside.

Several of the most beautiful Latina women I'd ever seen stepped out of the van and casually walked into the club. They all seemed to be similar in height, weight and appearance and were wearing matching, yet different colored cocktail dresses. When I say these women were beautiful, I REALLY mean they were BEAUTIFUL! At that point my other head was in the driver's seat and I hustled across the street to the club.

The security guard, some lanky Armenian guy that looked like a teen patted me down before opening the club door for me and noticed a huge pistol hanging from his hip as I went inside.

"Fuckin Shangri-La De-Da." I mumbled when I'd got a good look at the inside of the club. The place was almost surreal looking like the set of a hip hop video with all manner of seedy types represented from damn near every ethnic background. And don't let me forget the women, who ranged in looks from "Around Da' Way Girls" to the kind of shit you'd see on KING Magazine. Some of the women here had definitely had work done and it was all to the good. I had a hard time finding a seat and almost gave myself whiplash staring at all the girls. I was even getting evil looking thugs "mad dogging" me as I found the only seat available at the back of the club near some old school arcade games and pool tables. I considered myself lucky because it was near the women's dressing room and every so often the saloon doors would swing open giving me a glimpse of some topless beauties.

Once I'd found a seat this really thick Pilipino waitress walked over to me in a porn version of a stereotypical catholic school girl outfit. This chick was fucking hot and I had a hard time hearing her over the latin-themed electronica that was playing.

"Heineken please." She gave me a disingenuous smile and sauntered off to the bar to get my drink giving me a look at her tiny white bikini panties that were peeking out from under her plaid skirt. I couldn't believe how full her cheeks were because you usually didn't see that in Asian women.

I noticed that the ethnic ratio of the working girls in this joint were overwhelmingly Latin with only a few black and white girls. I noticed that there were only two Asian chicks including my waitress, the other looked like a Korean and had extremely large fake tits. The place was jam packed full of people and I noticed that the roof was kind of low slung creating the illusion of intimacy.

There was a slim and stacked Mexican girl on the small low to the ground stage and boy was she putting on a show. She had a narrow face caked up artistically with heavy mascara and eyeliner and 80's hair, but her body screamed former cheerleader as she made obscene use of the stripper pole. Most of the patrons were entranced by her aerodynamic act but I was just taking it all in and enjoying a brew.

Some of the patrons were getting lap dances right beside me and were taking some considerable liberties with the dancers. One Cholo was openly groping a larger girl and kneading her massive ass cheeks as she humped him with purpose. Another older gentleman was leaning back in his seat and I observed a handkerchief in his lap noticing his mouth was open. A very petite blonde dancer had her hand obscured by his handkerchief as she jerked him off. A wad of cash sat on the table in front of the happy couple.

I was having a pretty good time watching the shows both on the stage and all around me. A very attractive Columbian dancer was twerking her awesome derriere inches from my face as I enjoyed my own sort of private dance when the music suddenly stopped. Everyone in the club looked towards the stage as the DJ announced the next act.

"Ladies, Gentlemen and everything in between ...May I direct your eyes towards the stage for our star attraction Astrid!!" Some people were already clapping and catcalling.

And that's when I saw her and knew the truth of Conception's words.

The lights had been dimmed for a purpose as the sequined curtain parted and I watched her step onto the stage. Her bright red hair contrasted with her olive hued skin making it almost appear to glow along with a crimson feather boa that was casually wrapped around her shoulders. My cock jumped as I beheld the silver sequined mini bikini that caused one elderly gentleman stage side to spit out his beer in shock. Her huge 38DD breasts were impossibly stuffed into their glittery cups which caught the strobe light used during her act along with the skin tight bottoms that hugged her wide hips at their lowest point making it appear that they were painted onto her insanely curvy body.