Do Unto Others

"Well, be that as it may," she said. She must have been watching PBS again or the BBC.

"You will not be using this pussy tonight," she said smiling. "At least, not at first."

I was fine with it, we'd done anal lots of times and pushing my-self between her big globular hips and feeling those tits from behind was one of my favorite positions.

"In honor of your birthday," she said. "I got you this. The door to our bathroom opened and Laura came out, wearing nothing but a ribbon and high heels. The ribbon went around her smallish breasts, wrapped around behind her and circled her tiny waist. It plunged between her legs from the back, came up and covered her vagina in the front. It bisected her torso longitudinally and tied around her neck. There was a big white bow right over her pussy. The shoes she wore were red with tiny white bows on the instep.

"You can un-wrap me, whenever you'd like," she said.

Okay, the first thing you need to know is that I've always been a one woman man. But shit, it was my birthday and there was just something about Laura. She had qualities that Tammy Joe just didn't have. She was really pretty. She was also very nice. Tammy Joe had a hellacious body and I loved her but she was a butter face girl. Tammy Joe was also not very nice. She'd always been kind of a bitch, just not to me. And us having money only made it worse. If I'd told Tammy Joe that I didn't want her gift, she'd have been pissed. I'm not a wimp, but I didn't want to bring that bitch that I knew was boiling just under the surface out, and have her aimed at me.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours," said Tammy Joe. "Unless you call me and tell me to stay away longer.

All kinds of alarm bells were going off in my head as the door slammed. I looked at Laura and she looked back at me and smiled. She started walking slowly towards me, with those high heels clunking, k-thunk, k-thunk, all the way across the floor. On paper she was far sexier than Tammy Joe. But for some reason my dick didn't seem to agree. It deflated and I pulled my pants up.

Laura had a crestfallen look on her face. "You didn't do anything wrong," I said. "In fact you're the best birthday present I got. You're even better than my car."

The look on her face changed immediately. "What kind of car?" she asked.

"A Ford GT," I said.

"You're shitting me," she said. "Can we go for a ride? Can I look under the hood?"

We spent two hours becoming friends. We drove the car around and I did let her look under the hood. We discussed all kinds of performance ratings and engine mods."

Laura told me that she felt very comfortable with me. She was just giving me a birthday kiss, when Tammy Joe pulled up in front of the house. Tammy Joe was grinning from ear to ear as she watched Laura get into her own small car and drive away.

"Did you have fun?" she asked. I nodded my head and I wasn't lying. We really did have a good time.

"That wasn't nearly as bad as you thought it was going to be, was it?" she asked.

"What?" I asked. I was just about to tell her that nothing had happened. When she floored me by launching into the same shitty thing she'd been hinting about for weeks.

For over a month Tammy Joe had been hinting and bringing up the possibility of us joining a swing group. Nope, I know what you're thinking. Not swing dancing, where you dress up in clothes from the forties or fifties and do energetic dances to the music from bygone eras.

This type of swinging involved you taking your clothes off and fucking someone else's wife, while they fucked yours. I'd tried telling Tammy Joe several times that I wasn't into it. But she just wouldn't take no for an answer. She'd been beating that same horse from every possible angle. The look on my face when she brought it up then told her that she'd fucked up so she let it die for that evening.

A week later, Laura was back. I asked her if she'd forgotten something and she said that she was there for the same reason as last time.

"Tammy Joe convinced you to try this again?" I asked.

"She didn't have to convince me," said Laura. "After I got to know you last week, I really like you. And I like the way you kiss."

"Where's Tammy Joe?" I asked her.

"She said she was going shopping," said Laura. "She says that she loves you too much to watch you the first few times. And that her being here might make you nervous. She says eventually you'll get used to it."

I just sat down and frowned. Laura came over to me and started rubbing my shoulders. Her touch really felt good. "Why don't you tell me about it?" she said.

I told her how I was probably stupid and old fashioned, but that I really loved Tammy Joe. I didn't need anyone else in my bed or in my life, unless it was as a friend. She told me that Tammy Joe loved me just as much. It took an extraordinary type of woman to go to the trouble that Tammy Joe did for me to try to make me happy. I nodded my head in agreement but wished that Tammy Joe could see that she was all I wanted. And that was how we spent the second time that Laura came over.

The third time that I saw Laura changed things. Tammy Joe told me that we were having a barbecue when I got home from work that evening. It would be us and two other couples. The first couple I knew from our neighborhood. They lived a couple of blocks over and I'd spoken to the guy a couple of times about my car. In fact that was how we met them.

When the second car pulled up I was shocked. It was Laura and she was dragging some shifty looking guy with her. He was way too old for her and something just didn't seem right about them.

"You know Laura already," said Tammy Joe. She had on a bikini top that was simply inadequate to restrain the girls. "This is Laura's boyfriend Ken."

The guy held out his hand for me to shake and I looked at him. There was something not right about him. First his smile seemed to be more of a smirk than a smile. Kind of like he knew something that I didn't know and it was really fucking funny. I took an instant dislike to him. I just pretended that I hadn't seen him extend his hand.

The second thing was that his reaction to Tammy Joe was off. The neighbor guy, Bob couldn't take his eyes off of TJ's boobs, most guys couldn't. Tammy Joe should never have worn that fucking top with people around and I told her so later that evening. But Ken didn't react at all. So, either he was gay, or he'd seen my wife's tits enough times that they didn't affect him anymore. Tammy Joe's hooters still affected me and I was married to her.

After we ate, the neighborhood couple thanked us and had to leave. They had a small baby and their sitter could only stay for so long. As we relaxed by the pool Ken sparked up a conversation.

"God damn that's some car," he said. "Laura never stops talking about it." Laura was looking down at her feet. I thought that maybe she'd been bragging about my car and it had caused bad feelings between them.

"It's just a car," I said. I didn't believe that for a second but I was trying to lighten the mood.

"She's dying for a ride in it," he smiled. My spider sense was tingling because shit, she'd already been in the car. She'd even driven it.

I reached in my pocket, took out the keys and tossed them to him. "Be careful," I said. "The clutch is kind of stiff and the power comes up fast."

He threw the keys back to me. "Could you take her?" he asked. "She really wants this badly and I want her to have the experience and to enjoy it. But I don't know how to drive a stick."

"Go ahead Danny," said Tammy Joe. "You love driving that care and talking about it."

So blind, stupid, naïve, old Danny, took Laura out for a ride, hoping someone would explain what the fuck was going on to me.

Laura who'd put on a swim suit too, told me that she'd go and put something on over it. As she stood up I could see that though I'd never noticed it. Laura was excited. Her nipples were sticking up like erasers. As I've said, on paper she was far more beautiful than Tammy Joe. But seeing them next to each other brought a whole new set of variables to the equation. Laura was beautiful, but Tammy Joe was just plain sexy.

Laura was the kind of woman you'd put into an evening gown or a little black dress and go to a gala or a party with. Every man there would envy you when you walked in with her on your arm. But Tammy Joe was the kind of woman that as soon as you saw her, you just wanted to fuck her. You needed to fuck her. It was something written into every man's and even, some women's DNA code. She just made you want to put your seed into her baby basket, again and again.

Looking at her I smiled and told her I loved her. I was so glad she was mine. Fuck dinner parties and galas. What the hell is a gala anyway?

And that was another weird thing that I failed to notice. As Laura said she'd put something on, Ken told her to just go as she was. What kind of guy sends his woman off with another man in just a skimpy swimsuit? I looked at Tammy Joe. "I'm going inside to change right now," said Tammy Joe.

Laura and I went out and drove around. We got out on the freeway and tried to get the car up to its 200 mph top speed. About a half hour later, far sooner than anyone expected, we drove back up. Laura sat down by the pool and I went into the house and saw them.

Ken was fucking my wife from behind and tugging on her breasts as he did so. He was fucking her so hard that she lifted off the floor with each stroke. Her big tits were flopping and flying and Ken was grunting. "Oh, Oh baby, fuck me," cried my wife. "I thought you said you couldn't drive a stick."

I crossed the floor before they even knew I was coming. I tried my hardest to break my foot off in Ken's ass. My foot literally lifted Ken out of Tammy Joe's pussy. Then I knocked him down on the floor and started beating him over and over again until Tammy Joe grabbed me and pulled me off of him.

"Danny, what are you doing?" she cried. "You're going to kill him."

"You're God damned straight, you whore," I spat at her. "Get the fuck out of my house and take this piece of shit with you."

On the floor, Ken was moaning for a different reason. There was blood all over his face and one of his eyes was swelling up. Despite everything I'd done to him, he was still relatively unharmed. Laura came in and looked at him. "What happened to him?" she asked. Again I misread Laura's expression.

When I saw the lack of concern over her boyfriend getting his ass beat, I thought that maybe he'd been hitting her and she felt that he deserved what he'd gotten. I was wrong.

"Take him home," said Tammy Joe. "He'll be fine. He has a black eye and some cuts, but it was all just a big misunderstanding."

Ken was having trouble walking. I'd missed his nuts but my kick in his ass had probably not helped his Gluteus Maximus any.

I just stood there and glared as Laura guided Ken out the front door. Neither of them said anything.

"Why are you still in my house?" I asked. "Tammy Joe, I told you to hit the bricks and I meant it."

Tammy Joe just looked at me with that deer caught in the headlights look. I expected a lot of reactions from her. Perhaps she'd be snide and insult me and tell me that if I wasn't so pitiful in bed that she wouldn't have had to find him.

Maybe she'd try the classic, "It isn't what you think routine," and try to lie her way out of it. Or the hard line "Fuck you this is my house too gambit."

In the end it was none of those. Her face broke up and just became miserable and just erupted in tears. She looked so hurt, so shattered. It was as if her whole world had just fallen apart. The funny thing was she looked and acted as if she hadn't done anything wrong. She looked as if the error had been on my part. As if we'd had some long standing rule or code of conduct and I'd just broken it.

God damn it, I still loved that stupid woman. So her break down affected me on a very deep level. (Okay, I can hear all of you yelling sucker in the background) And yes I went to her and wrapped my arms around her and told her that everything would be fine. I swore to her that I'd be very generous in the divorce, even though we had the pre-nup that my lawyer had insisted on.

All that did was to start another round of wailing and crying even louder. She pushed me away from her and ran over to the desk. She took out a pen and wrote down in her childish handwriting. "I do not want, nor will I accept, any money from Danny or his fucking company."

She signed it in her distinctive scrawl and handed it to me crying even louder. I knew and I'm sure she knew that it wouldn't hold up in court. But it made me curious. If this wasn't about money what the hell was it about.

"Then what do you want, TJ?" I asked her. "You can have the house too. Look I'll give you more money than the pre-nup states even though we both signed it." It surprisingly didn't help, she just cried louder.

"Maybe we're just not the people we thought we were," I said. "This way you can be free to go out and do whatever the fuck you want. And you won't have to worry about me finding out."

She cried even louder. I was at my wits end. "What do you want TJ?" I asked again.

"I just want you," she screamed. "That's all I ever wanted. It's all I ever will want."

"It sure didn't seem like it, the way you were fucking that shit head a few minutes ago," I snapped. "Maybe you and him could just settle down somewhere and be really happy together."

She looked at me as if I was really stupid. She actually wiped her tears and tilted her head to the side and looked at me the way dogs do, when their owner does something really stupid.

I turned around and looked behind me to see if there was someone else in the room. She just shook her head. "You really do not understand any of this, do you?" she said.

"I understand that I'm not going to stay married to someone who cheats on me," I said.

"How did I cheat on you," she asked. "Explain that to me? Danny, I love you with all of my heart and soul. You and I will be together until the stars turn dark and fall out of the sky."

"Tammy Joe, you really need to shovel that bullshit in a different pasture," I snapped.

"Danny, love and sex are not the same thing," she told me. She said all of this really calmly and really slowly. As if she was talking to a really stupid child. "You and I are young and we have a lot of money to throw around. We're still figuring out what we like and establishing the parameters for our lives together. Maybe I'm a little messed up in the head. I can't help it, but right now I want to experiment and try some things. Our sex life is so good that it just keeps me wanting to grow and experience different aspects of human sexuality."

I was dumbfounded. One of us was fucked up in the head. At that moment, I couldn't figure out if it was her or ME. She made it all sound so normal and so logical.

"What does that have to do with you cheating on me and rutting in our living room like a fucking whore?" I asked.

"I did not cheat on you," she snapped even louder. "Danny, for over a month I've been trying to get you to try swinging with me. It's something I really want to do. You said no and I respected that. So I decided that like most couples when they have a disagreement, I should accept your decision. But that doesn't mean that I couldn't try it again from a different angle."

Once again, she said this so calmly and in so matter of fact a manner that I had to accept her logic.

"I figured that if you said no to full-fledged swinging that maybe I should start on a smaller scale," she said. "You know like a threesome or wife swapping. Maybe then you wouldn't object to it and we could gradually move up when you were more comfortable with the idea. Either that or I'd burn the whole thing out of my system."

"I'd have definitely said no to that too," I snapped. "I don't want to swing. I don't want to wife swap. You're all I need TJ. So if you're asked me that, I'd have said "Hell no," to that too."

"But Danny, you didn't," she said. "In fact you really liked it, almost too fucking much. Now I'm the one who feels funny about this whole thing. I'm feeling fat and unattractive. I feel like I'm in danger of losing you."

"Tammy Joe, what are you talking about?" I asked. "You never said "shit," about wife swapping and we haven't done a fucking threesome, unless you're talking about yourself and both of Ken's two faces. I can't believe that bastard. Coming into my fucking house, pretending to be my friend and then..."

"Danny, what did you think we were doing?" she asked. "That's why I gave you Laura. Don't you think it's fair that if you got to have Laura, then Ken should get to have me? It's called wife swapping not wife giving."

"But...?" I began. Words failed me and anger took over. I knew that I needed to calm down and be very careful how I handled things and even what I said. I thought about telling her that I hadn't had sex with Laura. That would get me into trouble, because she'd say that I should have told her that. My not telling her that was a lie of omission and she'd capitalize on it. Even though I was only trying to spare her feelings.

I also realized that Tammy Joe had manipulated this whole situation to force me into something she wanted.

"Tammy Joe, I need to think about this for a while," I said. "I need to make the best decision for both of us."

"What is there to think about?" she asked. "You explained your feelings, I explained mine. We obviously disagree on this one small thing. We talk about it and we work it out."

"No, Tammy Joe," I said. "This was a fucking con game on your part, from the beginning. You manipulated this whole situation and I'm not sure that it's not a deal breaker. That's what I need to think about."

"Danny, this will be the only time," she said. "I didn't realize that you were this serious about this. You always give me my way. It's not worth you being upset with me over."

"Tammy Joe, I'm very upset with you. This isn't like you got drunk and pissed in the pool. I'm trying to decide whether to try and work this out, or to file for a divorce first thing in the morning."

She looked genuinely shocked. "Danny, we're together forever," she said calmly. "We're not getting a divorce."

I just laughed and walked upstairs into one of the guest bedrooms. I sat down in the chair next to the bed and really thought about the situation. Maybe counseling would help. Maybe this all stemmed from the things TJ had told me happened to her in her first college. She might have recessed psyche issues that were influencing her.

About an hour later I heard the door handle. Then there was a knock at the door. "Danny can we go to bed now?" she asked.

"Tammy Joe, I'm not sleeping with you," I said. "Good night."

"Danny this isn't fair," she cried. "I love you. Can't you just let this go? It's not that big a deal."

"Maybe not to you TJ," I said. "Goodnight."

The next morning Tammy Joe awoke before I did. I heard her clunking around the house and then she left. I figured that she was dashing off to meet Ken and I really didn't care. I think it was the manipulation more than anything else that bothered me.

I got up and took a long warm shower. One of the best things about being one of the owners of the company was that no one could tell me when to drag my ass in to work. I got dressed and was actually thinking about the drive into work, when I hear her come back into the house. She'd been gone for about a half hour. Ken must be a minute man, I thought.

"Danny, breakfast," she called out. I didn't bother to reply.