All Comments on 'Do You Believe In Magic?'

Way better than average plot and well scripted. And thank you thank you thank you--finally, a story with proper grammar and hardly a typo or misspelling!!!!

I think my neck hurts from the twists and turns this story had!

Thumbs up! Way up!

Exciting, thrilling, loved it. Xxxx

Rebecca

And yes, Virginia, there is magic in the world. Thanks Griffin for this funny romp. Nice plot twist too, I really enjoyed that.

Great

This was as sweet and lovely a story as I have ever seen in Literotica.

I enjoyed this story a lot, and I think you have accomplished a nice gender bender here with some strong characters and an excellent plot.

On the other hand, some of the execution of the story was jumbled, with the main characters motivations seeming to change suddenly in order for the plot to work out correctly at the end. Perhaps more foreshadowing would have helped to explain the narrator's shift in preference from women to men. For instance, Marcie could be in denial and think along the lines of "I knew I wanted a female Danny, because I was guy and guys liked girls." It sounds like she begins the story with that line of thinking, but it's never explicitly stated, which leaves me confused. As it stands now it creates the feeling that the narrator abruptly has a desire to transition to female.

On a side note, I believe that generally when referring to the various nomadic peoples of Europe, Roma or Romani people is preferred to gypsy, which is viewed by some as a racial slur. I'm not trying to be pedantic, I just wanted you to know. If you want to know more, you can Google search it.

However, in terms of sex: pretty good job! The ending sex scene was fun, even if it does stretch the belief a bit in how quickly Marcie is ok with doing sexy things. I'm fine with it, because: 1. everybody processes things differently and 2. it's erotica. You have good descriptive terms throughout and it is very emotionally satisfying.

On the other hand, the first sex scene was... odd. I think that in all likely hood, a guy that suddenly had a female body would definitely be a lot more pissed at the person that just screwed up their life royally (Hell, I get mad that I'm transsexual and it's not even anybodies fault). Additionally, guys generally don't like having things in their vaginas. Unless this magic also changed Danny's gender identity, which needs to be mentioned a bit more explicitly if this is the case, this scene doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

You could fix this problem by taking out the Kamikaze Bill car crash (which admittedly was very startling to read in an erotic story) by having the negative consequence be that neither Danny nor Marcie are happy with their gender roles when Danny is forced to be a girl and Marcie is forced to be a boy. This would more completely tie the two characters arcs together and make Marcie's gender revelation less jarring.

This was a thought provoking read, and I look forward to your next story (Although you have like a billion up already; holy cow!). I only comment because I care, not because I didn't like your story. Obviously, you did a lot of stuff correctly that I don't mention- the bones of your story are good and your writing (except for one or two places) has a very natural flow to it.

I believe in five magics (Megadeth). Keep writing!

...HAS to be Hoochie Coochie Man by the Allman Bros. along with Muddy Waters and Steppenwolf.

The gypsy woman told my mother

Before I was born

You got a boy child's comin'

He's gonna be a son of a gun

...and he's gonna write TG stories like this one.

Why I chose not bad this story is too short, too much part A. Not enough of part B. Also what happened to the gypsy old lady? Also Mr bad guy. You should have made more of a romantic story, happy end! Having kids gypsy old lady alive and well telling her she made the right choice. Mr bad guy gets his just deserts. That's how I see it

This should be made into a movie or book or somethin

Lovely character development, nice fantasy #1 switcheroo to true fantasy #2.. Loved it. A lot of empathy here - and the sex made me wet.

xoxo,

Di

Well written and so perfect . Thank you for such a beautiful well thought out story x.

[11.09.23]

Que Romantique!

11/10!!!!!