by playn4fun
It was easy to imagine myself as Ashley. Hooray for Jimmy! :D
Good premise.
But altogether too mechanical. Too automatic. Too rushed.
Needed a lot of teasing of his cock and his balls.
Needed her forcing him to describe what he wanted to do to/with her body. And what he'd imagined/fantasized about her doing to/with him.
Needed her forcing him to tell her what kind of porn he watched. And what he liked about it.
Needed her determining his sexual experiernce. Was he a virgin? If so, how far had he gotten with a girl/woman? If not, how many times had he had sex. Straight vanilla? When was the last time?
Did he like the woman being in charge?
Three stars.
I was enjoying this story that started off in past tense but on the last page you changed to present tense and back again.
Before continuing with a story read it to where you got to so at least you get the flow and the tense right.