by SallyCat
you naughty minx...I didn't want this to end. going to your story listing hoping g to find chapter two.
For a starter you got everyone huffing and puffing and asking for more... not bad at all!!
Ok, the teasing at the (no)ending had something, all right - a lot, to do with it. So now you have to meet again with the nasty Dr. Bather and tell us all about it.
How can I give you a score on this when the story is not finished?
It's not that the story line is bad (okay, "real life"; whatever), but the writing is terrible. Between the typos (I never knew that "f" was a word.) and the word choice errors (please, get a dictionary and look up "too"), you need to both learn how to write (elements of spelling, sentence construction, and grammar) but you also need to hire a really good editor. And no, I have no interest in the job; I don't have that much time.
-- KVK
So many spelling and grammatical mistakes ruined what might have been an exciting story. Also numerous continuity errors. Needs re-reading, correcting and re-submitting.
this is good but not original as i have read the first and second part about a month ago
Sally,
Liked your story...I was hoping you would suck off the good doctor...I'm a 47 y.o. man with a nice cock and love to lick hot pussy...I jerked off my long hot HARD cock to your story, and in my mind,added you suxking off my cock for me, as I likced fingered and toungefucked your sweet pussy and hot ass...MMMMMMMMMMmm
L.A. Jay
you cant stop there its very good but you have to do more of the story