All Comments on 'Dragons of Arasme Ch. 02'

i love it!

Your second chapter is as amazing as your first. I will be eagerly waiting for your next chapter.

The second chapter was penned just as beautifully as the first! Please keep up the good work!

too short!! but on the otherside you didn't keep us waiting too long. I guess it all "even it out" lol

More more more

While still early, this is shaping up to be an interesting story. Your editing is quite good, and probably doesn't need an editor, although it would still be a good idea.

Just a couple of suggestions. First, longer chapters would be nice. That was probably your intention with the "once a month" deal, but faster than once a month would be great in conjunction with the longer chapters. Second suggestion, do some more world-building. You've given us a little bit of history, such as the war between the mages, some ideas on the environment (big ass desert, with twin suns), an idea of the culture (slavery is practiced, and the rulers are ruthless in their quest for power), and an idea about the type of creatures we're gonna be seeing (dragons!).

What you haven't given us so far is just how big this world is you've created, a rough map of the world, and who the major players are aside from the dragons and the new mage. Also, if you're going to using words that aren't part of the English dictionary, perhaps you could offer a translation as a footnote, or put the words in a context where their definition could be easily identified.

As an example of world-building, and an marvelous one at that, I suggest reading The Missing Dragon by Lien_Geller, here on Lit in the Sci-Fi section. The man has done, and is doing, a fantastic job building the world his story takes place in. While I by no means suggestion copying his ideas, you can get an idea of what to do to add all that much more depth to the world you are building here.

I look forward to coming along on this journey of discovery that you are bringing to life, and hope to see it prosper and thrive to its natural conclusion.

keep it going!!!

I wish these chapters were longer. The world you describe might be better understood with longer chapters. The significance of the violet light left with the mother, is that a detail that will come to be important later in the story? I'm a little confused about the dragons vs the mages, harnessing magic and the subsequent war. I'm sure these will be better understood in later chapters I just hope they don't take too long to be published.

Again, wonderful story. And to your kids, GO TO BED!!!!

I'm interested in this world, especially what has changed since the dragon has been sleeping. Also, is Arasme more than she appears, or is she really just a magically talented human? What dangers will face them as she grows up?

So many questions and I'm looking forward to you answering them. It would be nice if the chapters were longer but as long as you update regularly, everyone will be happy.

Looking forward to more!

It's been a more than a few months now since you put this up and we haven't heard from you. Is there more story in the works to be put up for our enjoyment or is this story being abandoned?