All Comments on 'Electrical Attraction'

More chapters!?!?

Loved it and please write more

Please write some more, this could go to some wonderful places, libby

Please more soon!!!

Don't make us wait too long for the next installment!

This is a very very good start to more, please don't keep us waiting for the finish of this story it is one good story.

I'm sorry -- this might have been a great, romantic story. I don't know -- I couldn't make it past the first couple of paragraphs. I couldn't buy the conveniently loserish boyfriend who lets the heroine down at precisely the right moment. I couldn't buy the protagonist's decision to walk home; there wasn't ANYONE she could call?

If we're going to engage in the Willing Suspension of Disbelief, you've at least got to meet us halfway.

This is a good first effort. Yes, it read a little "stiff,' and some situations could use some fleshing out, but that's the great thing about this site. We all learn as we go.

I for one enjoyed it and hope we get more of the story soon.

Thanks for giving it to us.

Doc

Please keep going i really like where this is going!

Nice start..hope to read more soon!!

Nice and slow is always fun...rare on literotica. But much appreciated,

Absolutely loved it. Keep up the story please. I want to know what happens between these two

a very nice, Romantically based story, Yes, Flesh it out a little, but keep it loving, !!.

Very nice story. Great Job

Someone else noted that you need to meet readers half way if you're going to ask them to suspend disbelief. These women know virtually NOTHING about each other and they're kissing? And Kayla would never have left knowing Brandon's violent history - if she's a cop, she knows better. Also you switch back and forth between past tense and present tense, which is distracting and confusing. You have the start of something here - keep writing!

Get some editing in here and your story would be even better.