All Comments on 'Enslaved'

I loved how you wrote the transformation/reprogramming. Perfect!

Though I wish the protagonist had been more resistant, I thought this was a great piece. Please continue writing, you have us captivated.

more chapters

More please! That was a great story. Got me all wet.

Aside from the contradictions caused by the story being told in the first person (which I'm not a fan of incidentally), I enjoyed the story. Thank you for taking the time to write and share your work.

I hope you will publish it soon

you are a very good author. i wouldnt say your at the same level as Noble_Truth but very good. i am hoping to see more of this work from you my good sir.

I hope I don't have to wait a year for the next chapter... Looking forward to it!

Gwendolyn - this is excellent. And, of course, we all want more. You captured the loss of will and the turn over of control to one's master that we all love to feel in these stories.

I wasn't put off by the first person perspective of the slave at all - perhaps she's telling us this later, after she has regained her will through some other adventure? In any event, first person writing really draws the reader into the story.

I liked it. But it should be longer, more detailed. I would like to see this continued, so it can be improved.

I agree, it was a little too simplistic. Plus, why write it in first person? Writing in first person implies that either she is in control and is therefore able to narrate the story , or the event is in the past and she has escaped it to tell her story. But if she is now being mind controlled, how can she tell what is happening? I think that is a major flaw in your story.

I thought the story had potential, but she needs to fight it a little bit harder. The program worked too well, and if she's smart enough to be getting her Ph.D she's smart enough to know what was happening with the program. She needed to fight the hypnotism, and then it would be more credible. This page could have been three pages or so and it would have been a good story.