tagReviews & EssaysEssay: My Rape Fantasies

Essay: My Rape Fantasies

byLynnGKS©

For women only! Guys -- go elsewhere (especially you angry wimps). You won't like it.

*

I have written stories in a variety of categories, and they have received good and bad reviews plus a lot of letters from readers, mostly guys. In e-mails a lot of guys ask me about my fantasies and especially about my rape fantasies. After I read a great essay by "superstition" on the subject of women's rape fantasies, I wrote a story about rape called "The Late Shift" which was a relatively non-violent physical rape story.

Then I read one of "superstition's" favorite rape stories called "She is Captured by a Bosnian Sniper" written by "furrybert" and it was much more violent than other rape stories I had read. Frankly, it was more than I could take. I started to turn on at first but then lost it as the violence became too severe for me. Still, it had the essential elements of a rape fantasy that I note below.

The contrast in these two stories emphasized to me what a very delicate instrument erotic fantasy really is. It must be fine tuned (almost on an individual basis) to achieve its goal of arousal. Of course, the same thing is true for cuck stories where the degree of humiliation may be different for different readers -- the right amount arouses -- too much turns off or angers the reader. I am sure the same rule applies to BDSM, gay, and other categories of stories. Arousal requires that the writer consider quantitative as well as qualitative factors in the story. No one size fits all ids.

Words matter a great deal in this equation because words produce pictures in our brains. A story can move from seriously arousing to ludicrous when the wrong word is used. Consider my story "The Late Shift" in which the girl becomes aroused by the hands of her rapists: One says, as he feels her wetness, "The bitch is getting wet" -- which I think is arousing because the girl now realizes that her attackers know she is getting horny -- and this embarrasses her. What if instead I had used a much stronger vulgarity e.g. "The cum-slut wants to fuck." I had not prepared the reader for this sort of thing. I had been building her arousal gradually, so introducing such harsh terms might have diminished the story sharply for many readers, as they understood that the writer was simply looking for a dirty word -- not trying to convey the more subtle meaning of gradual arousal.

Such considerations as these prompted me to examine my own rape fantasies (and here I extend rape to include unwilling or coerced sex). Actually as a fantasy, I greatly prefer coerced sex, where it is not physical force, but other forms of coercion that are used to force me to have sex. The reason is that the decision to submit is my own, so I am participating in my own "rape," which enhances my weakness. A favorite story of mine is "Innocent---But Disciplined" which is a two part series by "ladyellen", in which a teacher is forced into sex by her superiors. This story best illustrates what turns me on.

There are three key elements producing my arousal in any effective rape or coercive fantasy: 1) extreme reluctance on my part to having sex, but being forced to do it against my will; 2) my enjoyment of the sex being made obvious by my juices flowing and my orgasm; and 3) the knowledge of the "rapist" that I have had an orgasm and his laughing at my helplessness to do other than enjoy his unwanted attentions. The formula requires that he have power over me: I am weak and helpless and the obverse, he is strong.

Weakness, I believe, is the key element in most women's fantasy life. Equally important is my perception of strength in the man -- whether I care for him or not. There were strong hints of this in the superb essay by "superstition" on female rape fantasies, but I think it requires even more emphasis. Rape excites not only because it is "taboo" -- but also, because it is a vivid demonstration of male strength and female weakness which may be the essential component of female arousal.

But if this is so, then the rape fantasy is merely an extension of (or an exaggeration of) many other female fantasies that arouse because the woman feels her weakness in the face of male strength. Female fantasies, like male fantasies are legion, but the weakness/strength concept, I believe, plays a central role in most female fantasies.

I am on delicate ground here and I may hear from some straight but very assertive women that I have gone too far. Does the fantasy of an assertive woman never include her seducing some unsuspecting guy? Of course it does and so do my fantasies. So, how "strong" can the guy be (or how "weak" the gal) if the guy is the victim of her carefully planned intrigue?

I pose this as a serious question for all you gals out there who fantasize about seduction. If you are in control how can you be weak while he is strong? As I fantasize seducing a guy, there is always a point in my fantasy where he (symbolically or actually) picks me up in his arms and carries me to bed (much harder to do now than when I was 22). So my strength in planning his seduction just collapses into weakness as he takes over. Fantasies obviously switch rapidly back and forth and they are loose with the truth, but still this remains a question.

I can see in some of your heads the biggest objection to this essay: "The stupid bitch! Doesn't she ever have a fantasy about exciting sex from a loving husband?"

Well of course I do -- even those of us without loving husbands fantasize about having one (and one of our own, not just yours). But (in our fantasy) once we're in bed with him, what exactly do we think about that turns us on. Think about yourself. Do you lay there, vibrator (or husband) in hand, thinking about how much he loves you? Or do you go back in your memory to some magic moment when he did exactly the thing you wanted him to do -- and what was that thing? It was not the simple act of loving you! Be fair, now -- did that magic moment involve his strength and your weakness? I'm betting it did.

Read part 3 of "In the Nude by Lady Gray" -- a story by "ladyellen" and you will see sex between a married couple who are in love. But the story clearly indicates that their arousal results from their fantasy about her sex with another man -- a man she is in bed with on stage in a play -- and whose physical nearness on stage arouses her sexually, even though she is deeply in love with her husband. This arousal makes her vulnerable to her fellow actor. Good marital sex may often involve fantasy about other partners -- real or imagined.

So, where are we? Let's summarize: Genes we inherit determine our sex drive. These genes are preserved by natural selection because they have survival value. A strong man has survival value for you if all he has to defend you with is a club. Genes that attract you to a strong man have survival value for your daughters, who inherit the genes that ... and so it goes. And of course our fantasy needs mirror our real needs. I believe that in recent centuries "smart" has begun to replace "strong" - but smart is really just another way to be strong. The time may come when women lose the genes that attract them to strong or smart men, but that time is in the future (and we may not like it very much when we get there).

A prominent Washington politician (if you don't know you'll never guess) once said that his power acted like a potent aphrodisiac on the women around him. This is undoubtedly true of powerful men. Think about it as Darwin might have: when a bunch of guys are standing around with clubs (or modern club equivalents) the woman screwing the guy in charge is far more likely to have daughters whose genes contribute to the gene pool, than the woman who chooses some wimp cheering from the sidelines.

Ladies! Please send me your thoughts! And guys, if you got this far, watch out, you might make somebody a loving wife.

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by fanfare03/22/14

whoopie! & whoopsie?

Lynn, your essay "My Rape Fantasy" does incite a lot of colorful commentary. Your opinions are well written to defend your personal fantasies and what you have heard of second and third hand from othermore...

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by Anonymous02/24/14

The Importance Of Rape In Male-Female Relationships

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In her classic, best selling book, on human female sexuality ("My Secrete Garden") Nancy Friday* explains that the most common female sexualmore...

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