Excuse Me Miss... Ch. 04

They collapsed to the bed and managed enough strength to move to together and cuddle against one another. No words were exchanged at first. They just lay there together, simply enjoying how that felt.

It was Alicia that spoke first, "You amaze me, you know that? I never thought anyone would have this much power to make me feel good, and not just in bed. Tonight when I faced Joe and Jane I wasn't afraid or even angry; I felt sorry for Jane. Sorry for my spoiled cousin Jane. Sorry that her life will always be with that chauvinistic pig, that she'll spend her life not thinking she's good enough, because he'll make her feel that way. As self-centered as she is, she'll feel it. It might not be today, next year, or ten years from now, but she'll feel it. She'll have to know what he did to me and know she can be next; she'll have to accept that Joe will probably have cheated on her if not already then soon. All these thing she has to accept that I never will, because I at last have one thing she doesn't...you." She kissed him and continued, "You, Jeremy, will never do any of those things, and even though you weren't by my side at that moment I knew that if you could have been you would have. The level of your remorse after the fact shows that. You have done so much for me these past few weeks I can't even begin to describe it. I just ask one thing from you, love me, love me like you did in the canyon that day, make me feel like I'm the only woman in the world. Please, I need to feel that one more time."

Jeremy smiled, deeply touched and said, "Of course."

He rose and she gently spread for him and this time there was no mistaking it. She had love in her eyes for him. He leaned down and kissed her deeply before setting to business. As he began the slow gentle thrusts his gaze never left her eyes and they made love together like that for what might have been forever, each enjoying the pleasure of the slow thrusts. When it at last came time to climax it was the most amazing feeling of Jeremy's life. He never remembered even coming down from it. Hours later he awoke to find her securely in his arms and he hugged her closer before falling back asleep, hoping to dream of his love some more.

The next morning, however, was not as peaceful or loving; that coldness had returned. She had said too much again and clamped up. After a tense flight he dropped her off and before she got out of the car he asked, "So where do we go from here?" Alicia was silent and couldn't bring herself to look at him, it was obvious to him that she herself could not figure out what she wanted. He knew that the battle between her feelings for him and her fear of being hurt had to be intense. His feelings on the matter were no less as he, was on one hand so certain they loved each other that he'd be willing to wait forever for her, but on the other how long should he wait? Would she ever be ready? Ever ready to move past what Joe had done to her? A few hours ago he thought she had, but now, he was not so sure that was ever possible.

Still, he did not yet want to lose her and was not yet ready to give her up as a lost cause so he decided to let her off the hook and extend a peace offering. "I can see from your silence that we are not on the same page for where to go from here. I think you know by now how I feel about you and what I want to do, but I can tell that you are not ready for that just yet." She did not say anything but a slight nod was all the sign he needed. He got out of the car and helped her bring her luggage inside her apartment. He kissed her briefly then said as he went to leave, "See you tomorrow on the train then?"

She seemed dazed for a second after the kiss then seemingly gathering herself as he turned to go she said very quietly, "I don't think that's a good idea Jeremy."

Never had so softly a spoken sentence caused him so much shock he turned around and as what she said sunk in, he quite lost his head.

"Excuse me?" he said a little angered.

She blushed and repeated, "I don't think seeing you again would be a good idea, for both of us."

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Jeremy asked incredulous. She paled in the face of his anger but held her ground.

"It means just what I said I think continuing is a bad idea, I won't say why and I don't have to. We said from the beginning if one party felt it absolutely could not work then we would go our separate ways." She said with a surprising amount of calm. "I can't explain and I won't," her voice began to quiver as she saw the signs of anger and exasperation that must have flooded his face at her stubborn refusal to explain what he had done to deserve this. She stopped and he began to see signs of tears and her tone became much more pleading, "Please Jeremy, just go and leave me be, I just need you to go. If you've ever cared about me as you say you do just please let me go. It's the best thing for both of us, nothing but pain can come from this, believe me."

Jeremy was flabbergasted and in of anger he was sure to regret later he replied, "So I see you feel it's easier to dismiss your feelings for me than take a risk at happiness, easier to not feel for me at all," She was taken aback, but he continued as if he had not noticed her pain, "I understand. I felt I've been more than patient with you Alicia, but if you can't date me because you might hurt me... If you don't know by now that's not possible, then I think it best we go our separate ways. At least until you figure out what you want, because it's clearly not me or you'd give me a chance. So good bye."

With that he slammed the door behind him and without giving her a chance to come after him headed out to his car and drove away, likely never to see her again.