by PaulStevens
Yes, more please! Need to know hat happens at the wedding she is going to ask him to be her “plus one.”
Great story, the first of yours that I've but and I loved it. I will be started part two shortly.
The story is fine but if you still want feedback, I find Alicia terribly unlikable. Bad day aside, she's vindictive, insecure, selfish, bitchy, rude and vain. Couldn't get into the sexy part of the story at all because I couldn't get past her. Tone down those less desirable aspects of her and it'd be nicely done. FWIW, YMMV.
Well written throughout, highly plausible and it just happens that the main characters are 2 "normal" size realistic young people with believable careers. As a "normal" size guy @ 6'7 & 260lbs and a retired Navy Chief I liked it a lot. More chapters!
BRAVO!!
And have her ex-boyfriend and her female relative (cousin?, I forgot) make themselves look silly in some way. Have them get married and quickly pregnant to make the grandparents happy and then to live happily ever after. Thank you for writing this tale.
Where they go to the wedding and make the cousin and her ex feel bad, let the ex hit on her at the wedding reception and piss off the cousin etc. In other words, revenge!
I THINK MORE.... BECAUSE I'M ALL FOR THE NICE GUY FINALLY SUCEEDING
GETTING THE GIRL BY BEING NICE GOOD SHOW. LOL EVEN NICE GUYS DESERVE SOME OCCASSIONALLY IN THIS CASE I'D LIKE TO HEAR HOW THE WEDDING THING GOES AND AFTERWARDS
I liked this story. Not as complex as your other stories, but then again why does it have to be. However, it has been six months since you first published it and there is no second chapter. I'm a little disappointed that the story is not finished. I do, however, think that if left alone the readers can use their imagination to finish the story, but it still wouldn't be the same.
Please finish.
Great start, I lied it a lot.
Now what would be really cool for future chapters are some cameo appearances by characters from your complex family/relationship series. Like jeremy working-class for brandons company.(in my mind he already does BTW.)
This has a good start and I will look for more. Please have this continue to another wedding, theirs.
But it appears from your responses I may have found one. Thanks for all your input, I'll get working on more chapters soon.
Great story with good characterization and an actual plot. It could have been a little longer with some additional story development but has excellent potential.
With that introduction, she at least has to ask him to attend the wedding with her, if for no other reason than to piss off her former boyfriend. Well written!
Good start and interesting characters. Develop them and the situation in future episodes.
I want to know what will happen to the wedding with jeremy as her date. Hahaha. :)
perfect starting block for many more chapters!!!! the characters go well together let's see what fun they can get up to!!! juci x
Your story was well written and flowed very nicely. I think you have several more chapters here if you will give them to us. Keep writing.
We can see many more chapters here. Keep up the good work.
Come on man this was just a teaser, you know you have more of this tale. Now tell it, rest of the chapters please
I'm waiting for Chapter 2. Get with it. Your writing is excellent, as is your character development. Like I said, Please get with it. we want MORE!!!!!!!!!
Great start,don't let it end here.There's plenty of tread left on this!
Great start. Let us in on more of the romance of Jeremy & Alicia
This is a great story! I have to know what happens at the wedding.
Very nice start to the story I definitely want to read more and of course we have to hear about the wedding.
I would love to see you take this further. There are so many ways in which to develop the story
More please. The character development was good. It would be fun to have a few more dates or something before the wedding. One at his place, maybe introduce her to his friends. Lots of potential here.
Oh definitely more, you have brought out two really good characters, keep irt up
mmm now i really need to kknow what happened at the wedding I just know he went with her.
I have read a few of your stories. My favorite was Cassie (since it's my name I am biased) but I might have just switched over to this. To be sure I need more. CG