All Comments on 'Family Isn't Blood - Fred's Life Ch. 01'

...based on the name you use, that English is possibly not your first language.

That might explain some of the errors in your story, but not all.

Example - “...the more I was astonished I was of her changes.”

Simple Proof Reading should have weeded that sort of error out

If you need help, go to Literotica Index; Volunteer Editors and find someone to assist and guide you.

That mistake got through 1 proof reader. Pretty stupid error if you ask me. However, your assumption was incorrect. I'm second generation, grandson of peasant immigrants. Great in science, bad in English in school. Whole family was that way. Do not attribute to ignorance that can be explained by lack of editing. Good catch on your part.

"You get comfortable living with someone, even if that person was bad for you." I hope you are wrong as regards most people, but that would explain why some people stay in abusive relationships, or continue to reelect bad people. It also helps explain why the abuse continues. The most adamant vote is the one you perform with your feet. If you stay in spite of abuse, you simply encourage more abuse. Courage is not about fighting, courage is about running. If you have courage and strength you fight. If you lack strength you retreat. But you separate and shield yourself from the abuse, anyway you have to.

I will definitely continue reading, and then score at the completion. You are a very interesting writer.

It is pretty obvious that English isn't the author's native language. Everything written just feels so stilted and awkward, the way many sentences and paragraphs are structured just feels off.

That awkwardness makes the story come across as impersonal and destroys any chance of immersion.

I would suggest getting a native English speaker as a proofreader to help out. It is bad enough that I won't be reading the second chapter